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Old 04-01-2004, 05:56 PM   #61
Spicy Jack
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This Just In:

"Speaking of stupidity, I put on the wrong pants this morning and didn't discover it untill i got to work. There's a huge hole in the crotch. I'm wearing crotchless pants at work! Aren't you the one who went thru my closet?!? Shouldn't you've thrown these pants out?! "

I love my friends!
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Old 04-01-2004, 06:12 PM   #62
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PC Maintenance Instructions:

1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "George W. Bush"
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin
4. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush?"
5. Answer "Yes" by firmly left-clicking the mouse button

Repeat as needed.
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Old 04-01-2004, 06:14 PM   #63
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Frieda, you're a sweetheart
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 04-01-2004, 07:52 PM   #64
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Thumbs up

All time new favorite Lifetime movie quote:

"What would you do if you had him?"

"I would put his privates in a vice grip, clamp it down hard, lock it, then put his switchblade down next to him....then I would light the room on fire....."
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Old 04-01-2004, 07:52 PM   #65
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nice.
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Old 04-01-2004, 09:32 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally posted by Avalon
We had to have the same talk..only about lying by omission.
"I didn't lie, I didn't even tell her"

The best was when my daughter brought home some badly done school work, and my husband told her : I do not want to see papers like this again. Well, we didn't lol.....She just didn't bring them home anymore! So when we asked her..any bad papers in your bag? She always said no...and there weren't, so she didn't think it was a lie. First grade logic
I used to do that when I was a kid!lol I got in soooo much trouble. But I didn't "lie". Now I'm thinking of what I have to look forward to in the next few years. Fun fun fun!
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Old 04-02-2004, 04:21 AM   #67
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"We regretfully inform you that we cannot offer you admission for Fall 2004"

Translation:

"we hate you. you're not good enough"
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Old 04-02-2004, 05:29 AM   #68
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HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Old 04-16-2004, 03:37 PM   #69
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The people installing the fire alarm system in our hospital have set it off like 5 times today by mistake. All the doors slam shut (and there are doors like every 10 feet) and the look on the patients faces are priceless. Workers are running around trying to get the lady on the PA to announce that it is only a test. It just struck me as funny for some reason.
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Old 04-16-2004, 07:21 PM   #70
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this did make me laugh


Barbara Walters of 60 Minutes (USA) did a story on gender roles in
Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women
customarily
walked about 5 paces behind their husbands.


She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walk
behind their husbands, but now seem to walk even further back and are
happy with
the old custom.


Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do
you
now seem happy with the old custom that you used to try and change?"


"Land mines," said the woman.
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:54 AM   #71
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My husband threw french fries at the dogs to see if they could catch, and then I wanted to try. I was runnin like 25-1 against getting one, they were hitting me (not hard) in the lips, eyes, and ears...finally one went down my throat by itself and i had to quit, I was laughin too hard to see anyway...so was everybody else, and the Bink was rollin on the floor laughin.
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Old 04-18-2004, 12:01 PM   #72
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Aud, Aud, Aud... might I suggest video taping your next dog tricks to share with us all? I just want to know, were you on your hands and knees too while attempting this?
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Old 04-18-2004, 01:41 PM   #73
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hahhah I was sittin in one of those plastic chairs outside, and i damn near broke it. no movies. no proof.
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Old 04-18-2004, 02:03 PM   #74
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Stupid human tricks
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:57 PM   #75
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All the drunken antics on the board last night. Laughing fit to pee my pants.
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