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Old 03-06-2008, 02:45 PM   #91
hypnoplasm
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Al Bundy Shooter

1 pint Popov vodka
1 Dr. Scholl's Pad, well worn
1 Remote Control, with finger cheese
1 package Hamburger Helper
1 Cyanide tablet
12 pack of Busch Lite

Soak foot pad and remote control in vodka for 1 hour. Strain 1.5 oz. into a shot glass. Dissolve cyanide tablet in vodka. Stir 1 oz. hamburger helper into vodka to create a slurry. Turn on game for last time. Drink the shooter, then drink beer beer and wait.

Now that that's buried, anyone remember how to make a WTF?
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Old 03-06-2008, 06:00 PM   #92
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A WTF:

2 oz. vodka
2 oz. tequila
2 oz. rum
2 oz. gin
2 oz. triple sec
3 oz. rose’s lime juice
oz. lambrusco

Shake in large shaker, strain into 8 oz iced tumbler full of ice. Makes 2. Drink one. Try to stand up. Say "WTF?" Crash.


All very entertaining, of course, but how do you make a Guitar Hero?
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Old 03-07-2008, 02:56 AM   #93
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Oh yeah, a classic. The Guitar Hero

1 bottle Jack Daniel's
1 pair wire clippers
1 Gibson Flying V

Grow hair long. Take a massive swig of Jack directly from the bottle. Make sure the bottle is entirely upended when you drink. With wire clippers, cut the webbing between the fingers of your left hand (to increase fretboard reach). Pour Jack onto your bleeding hand. Alternate sucking blood from between your fingers and taking pulls from the bottle. Garnish by smashing the Flying V into whatever amp stack, drum kit, roadie, etc. is nearby. Enjoy!!

Wow, that took me back. What about that one, the Dirty Bedpan?
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Old 03-07-2008, 01:56 PM   #94
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Ah, the old Dirty Bedpan!

It's easy to make after some preparation.

Pour Coca Cola into popsicle molds, without the stick, and freeze.

In a wide-top beer glass, or a large martini glass, pour 4 oz of Yellow Chartreuse, take cokesickles out of molds, and float them in the liqueur, and serve.

It tastes as nasty as it looks, but after a couple sips you don't notice. All those flashes you see have nothing to do with what's going on in your head, though: they're your friends snapping picture-phone photos of you.

Good times. But how about refreshing me regarding how to make a Wicked Witch?
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Old 03-07-2008, 04:18 PM   #95
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Oh my god, a Wicked Witch. I haven't had one of those since prep school!

1 sheet of black velvet
2-3 pewter figurines of faeries or dragons
1 pc. chalk
3 "eyes of newt" (green jelly beans)
1 "salamander tail" (gummy worm)
1 oz. "pixie dust" (contents of pixie stick or PCP if available)
liqueur or sweet wine filched from stupid parents' liquor cabinet
1 "cauldron" (salad or other bowl)

Hang velvet and draw pentacle on floor with chalk. There's nobody who would understand this but that's just because they don't "get" you. Position figurines and cauldron in pentacle. Who needs all that force fed corporate mainstream bullsh1t anyway. Mix liqueur and other ingredients and stir while chanting the "Boil, boil, toil and trouble" part from Hamlet (sic). Drink and fantasize about goth scene at your future college.

Those were the days. But I've really got a hankerin' for an Attorney General. Who's mixing?
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Old 03-07-2008, 05:14 PM   #96
Marcus Bales
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I haven't made an Attorney General since Janet Reno ... but never mind that.

Attorney General

6 oz of Southern Comfort
2 oz of Coca Cola

Stir, serve over ice in a tumbler.

Two of those and you'll roll over for any political shenanigans at all.

Ah, the good old days are still here!

But I've forgotten how to make a Flying Monkey
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Old 03-08-2008, 06:21 PM   #97
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus Bales View Post
[size="1"]
How about an after-dinner drink? I found this "Name Your Poison" thread online ...
Although I refrain from excessive use of alcoholic beverages I think The Flying Monkey is a drink everybody knows all too well.

The Flying Monkey

1 monkey (optional)

6 different kinds of alcohol/ 2 oz
ice (optional)

Attach the monkey to the ceiling fan.
Switch on the fan.
Mix and stir your poison.
Drink it up in one go.
Start swooning.
Start singing 'I believe I can fly'.
Someone call 911.

I heard there was something like The Grand Headache....
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Old 04-02-2008, 01:17 AM   #98
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Oh yes, the Grand Headache. What a pleasant appertif.

Simply mix:
1/2 bottle red wine
1 tall can malt liquor
1/2 oz. each tequila, dark rum, brandy, vodka, gin, whiskey, peppermint schnapps, campari, chartreuse and moonshine

Garnish with bleu cheese, kim chee, shrimp paste and aged meat

Separate mixture into two parts. Freeze first portion and heat other portion. Drink heated portion slowly, then have a waiter from tijuana tilt your head back, rapidly pour the frozen portion into your mouth, then jerk your head around violently as he blows a whistle in your ear. Afterwards go and stand in the wind for several hours. Cheers!

Who's making the next round. I could go for a My Litle Pony.
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:13 AM   #99
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A My Little Pony consists of

2 oz. vodka
2 oz. tequila
2 oz. rum
2 oz. triple sec
Splash of Grenadine
1 oz. Coca Cola

Garnish with long blonde hair on your shoulder from the woman who's taking you to her apartment, and try to remember that your excuse to your wife will be that the bartender had brought his daughter's Shetland pony to the bar to look after it in the absence of a pony-sitter.

And good luck with that.

Anyone remember how to make a Galligaskin?
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:18 AM   #100
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Oh sure, that old chestnut.

Galligaskin
2 oz. Everclear
1 oz. turpentine from the can in the corner of the nearest minor airstrip's workshop
1 6.5 cm tempered silicone fan gasket, clear
6 oz. Fresca

stir and serve over ice, garnish with a twist of lemon dipped in a mixture of sal de mer and the the rust sanded off of a F6F Tigercat rivet.

I was at a party last week where they served Manhole Covers, but I neglected to get the recipe...?
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Old 06-06-2008, 09:34 AM   #101
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?!? I didn't know you attended that kind of parties... Last time I heard about Manhole Cover was in connection with something French, I can't remember exactly.

a Manhole Cover is verrry simple

1 oz. sirop de cassis (or asses?)
3 oz. of champagne

it is served by a French servant in kneeling position, the glass held between 'is buttcheeks, covering 'is 'ole.

Anybody ever tasted Rope?
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Old 06-06-2008, 10:17 AM   #102
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^
Er...must've gotten the name wrong then,
I'm sure I would've remembered that.


Besides, these were rose-scented jobbies, served in hollowed-out lemons with tiny, demurely pink umbrellas...
served by very old nuns...
wearing burqas...
handsewn by eunuchs..
in the desert.

All right, somebody else tackle the Rope recipe, as I've already strung out enough to hang myself with.
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Old 07-15-2008, 11:29 PM   #103
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Rope - this is a tricky one. With only two shots left in a whiskey bottle, the bartender corks the bottle with a 4" length of rope, and leaves about two inces of rope up above the mouth of the bottle, then turns it upside down until the whiskey has all been absorbed. The rope is removed, placed in a tumbler, add ice, soda, and a splash of brandy. Suck.

Nice.

But who remembers how to make a First Million?
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Old 07-16-2008, 03:12 AM   #104
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It's a doozy: Blend pieces of heart from parent, child, and spouse with a chunk of enlarged raw liver. Freeze puree in ice-cube trays until solid. Garnish subsequent shots of alcohol until death.

I could use a Boot to the Head. Ever made one?
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:16 AM   #105
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Boot to the Head

6 oz. Sprite
1 oz. grenadine
1 bottle 20% alcohol imitation cherry extract
3 maraschino cherries

Shake and serve over ice. Have a mop, bucket, and shovel ready.

Anyone remember the recipe for a Lemon Bookend?
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