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Old 06-30-2007, 11:53 PM   #16
brightpearl
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A Duck Rump is a fifth of Jack chased with an entire bottle of cheap wine (Cold Duck is preferable, of course). In the best bars, the effect is heightened as the he braman duct tapes (get it?) a genuine down pillow to the back of your head for liability purposes.

I once had an extremely brief and torrid affair with a total stranger after downing a

Knocking Willie

or two at a party. Good times.
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Old 07-07-2007, 10:39 PM   #17
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A Knockin' Willie is a martini with a gherkin instead of an olive.

There's a little Willie that'll knock you on yer ass!

I've been hankerin' for a Barking Dog but can't remember the proportions. Any help?
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:03 AM   #18
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Two parts water, one part (non-toxic!) propylene glycol, served in a stainless steel dish on the floor. Aroo!

Remember those crazy shooters people used to order all the time, Oiled Brazilians? What was IN those things, anyway?
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Old 07-10-2007, 08:31 AM   #19
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Oh man, I forgot about those!! An Oiled Brazilian is two parts cachaša shaken with one part coconut milk, the juice of half a lime, ice, and a teaspoon of sugar. The ice must be strained out, and then the surface of the drink is thinly coated with a layer of palm oil from the Elaesis Guineensis tree. Purists insist on a palm grub garnish.

It's early, but I could go for a Sleazy Squeezy. Who's tending bar?
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Old 07-11-2007, 09:35 AM   #20
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One part vegetable oil, one part gin with a lime slice and three tablets of any antihistamine on hand. If you use olive oil it's a Slippy Slidey.

I've got a hankerin' for a Seamus Martinez. Anybody else?
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Old 07-11-2007, 11:58 AM   #21
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A Seamus Martinez is simple:

A shot of Bailey's
A shot of rum
A slice of raw potato on the rim
and a pretty little umbrella


But what about a White Album? I've heard of it, but never had one.
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Old 07-11-2007, 12:21 PM   #22
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One part sake, one part gin, crushed ice, shaken not stirred, served with a teeny tiny samurai sword skewer piercing a chrysamthemum.

How about a Wallpaper Paste. haven't had one of those in a while.
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Old 07-11-2007, 05:21 PM   #23
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Hey, a connoisseur! A Wallpaper Paste is a shotglass full of poi floating in an ounce of light rum and a dash of orange bitters. Haven't had one of those since the neighbor's last luau.

He served something else that night...I think it was called a Phantom Coco. Anyone?
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Old 07-11-2007, 09:53 PM   #24
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A Phantom Coco is

A shot of Coquila blended with ice, in a tumbler; fill with Coca Cola. You never even suspect the alcohol is in there.

We were out at a theme restaurant, a castle looking kind of place with a big fireplace and serving wenches and wandering minstrels for the ladies, and the drink special for the evening was a Stone Floor. We didn't dare order one, but does anyone know what's in them?
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:22 AM   #25
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Paint thinner, straight up, glass rimmed with dust and a tiny little mop drink stick resting inside.

But man I'm really craving a Hurley Burley, but I can't for the life of me remember what's in it. Anyone?
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Old 07-12-2007, 03:02 AM   #26
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A "friend" who went to this biker-bar said that her new friend ordered "one" for her. We think it was Jack Daniels and Jack Daniels and Jack Daniels.....

I sort of remember a real oldie - a Choo Choo Express. Maybe not. So help me!
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Old 07-12-2007, 09:38 AM   #27
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WD-40 and bourbon served in a carbide lined glass alongside a mug of root beer. Knock back the WD and boutrbon and pour the root beer over your head without stopping for air.

Ever tried a Welder's Mask?
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Old 07-14-2007, 10:12 AM   #28
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A Welder's Mask is like Beer Goggles, except instead of mugs of beer, it's shots of bar brand whiskey, one after the other in rapid succession, with an unattractive woman chaser,


Not many people know this, but Captain Jack Sparrow's ship was named after a famous drink. But I don't know what's in a Black Pearl.

Anyone else?
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Old 07-14-2007, 11:32 AM   #29
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Ahh yes, I remember the days of swabbing decks on the Good Ship Lollypop and Black Pearl drinks. Because we only hit port every 3 months we had to make due with what we had on hand. 2 ounces of very dark whiskey made from aged squid ink, mixed with used mop water, drank from an empty clam shell. A generous helping of salt peter as a chaser. On land, the salt peter is not necessary and is usually omitted.
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Old 07-14-2007, 11:35 AM   #30
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I have such a hangover I forgot to mention the drink I use to make as a good hair of the dog. I think it was called Liver Saver, anyone know how to make it?
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