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Old 03-25-2003, 02:47 AM   #1
beckstra
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Thumbs up If I Were A Rockstar...(complete the sentence...multiple times if you'd like)

If I were a rockstar, all my magazine spreads would be upside down.

If I were a rockstar, I'd get the guys who created "The Legend of Zelda" to add me in the game.

If I were a rockstar, I would find a way to be remembered as Red the Impailer.

If I were a rockstar, I'd tape my boobs down. Female rockstars shouldn't have boobs.

If I were a rockstar, and you were a naked rockstar, I'd stalk you.

If I were a rockstar, I'd pull around a wooden banana with wheels on a string behind me before and after my concerts through the audience.

If I were a rockstar, I'd have a four-poster bed with hollow posts so I could hide all my hit's I'm too lazy to officially have copywrighted in them.

If I were a rockstar, I'd throw red hots into the audience, and yell, "you on fire yet?"

If I were a rockstar, all my flyers would have chewed up pieces of gum folded in the top left corner.
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Old 03-25-2003, 02:50 AM   #2
beckstra
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If I were a rockstar, I'd flip off all the men in the crowd older than my dad...the perverts.

If I were a rockstar, I would have flashy rockstar pants...then, no matter how bad I sucked, I'd have flashy rockstar pants to play around in.

If I were a rockstar, I'd record some of my best work in an old, smelly outhouse, just for effect.

If I were a rockstar, I'd get my elbows waxed regularly.

If I were a rockstar, on my first tour, I'd put up a big screen and just show slides of Anthony Kedis.

If I were a rockstar, I'd wear my tour shirts to my own concert...so I could make "that guy" feel a little better.

If I were a rockstar, I'd tie my microphone to someone hot in the audience and use him as my mic stand.
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Old 03-25-2003, 04:37 AM   #3
lapietra
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You've obviously put a great deal of thought into this...
I'm going to have to get back to you on it...
My sentence always starts out, "If I were a supermodel..."

Which, you have to admit, is almost the same thing.
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Old 03-25-2003, 10:34 AM   #4
chuckie egg
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I were a rockstar, I'd employ you all as my roadies!
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Old 03-25-2003, 11:52 AM   #5
amanda
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If I were a rockstar, I would change the definition of "cool" to be my name.

If I were a rockstar, I would make change the laws in Kentucky so it would be legal to have an ice cream cone in your pocket.

If I were a rockstar, I would pay political cartoonists to do paradies of me.

If I were a rockstar, the top of the Eiffel Tower would be my third summer home.

If I were a rockstar, I would have all my fans sing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", off-key.

If I were a rockstar, I would have amusement park games give away red noses instead of crappy stuffed animals. And no goldfish. Ever.

If I were a rockstar, I would hire other rockstars to clean my hotel room after I stayed there for a week-long orgy of blueberry pie tossing and red wine drinking.
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Old 03-25-2003, 11:58 AM   #6
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I would demand they bring back the tan M&Ms and keep a bowlful in my dressing room at all times.




pft. green! Tan was the cool color.
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Old 03-25-2003, 03:33 PM   #7
Deviate
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omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
OMG....

you're the only one who sees the light.

blue was an awful replacement to light brown, the colour of deliciousness.....

i was going to say the same thing....

-st.
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Old 03-25-2003, 04:05 PM   #8
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heh!
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Old 03-25-2003, 08:07 PM   #9
Deviate
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...the word "PANTS" would be chanted to encourage my encore."

-st.
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Old 03-25-2003, 08:56 PM   #10
AllegroNg
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I would name my band "Stays Crunchy in Milk" and my album "Adicted to Cough Drops"
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Old 03-25-2003, 10:09 PM   #11
amanda
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you've tapped into a deeply held value there, mon.

tan m&m's ARE still available, so I hear- in the M&M store in Las Vegas, and old packages in inner Mongolia.

But they are an extinct species- fight for their protection.
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Old 03-25-2003, 11:22 PM   #12
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If i were a rockstar I'd try to make as much money as I could and then disappear into the wild blue yonder.
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Old 03-26-2003, 12:57 AM   #13
trisherina
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If I were a rock star I'd have a Piper Swift Fury for fun and a Citation to get me to my gigs.

If I were a rock star, I would never, ever, ever let people film my drug-addled decline for small change.
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Old 03-26-2003, 01:04 AM   #14
girlnamedjames
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If I was a rockstar I would play the Keytar.(keyboard guitar)
If I was a rockstar I'd be married to Jon Stewart, despite his age.
If i was a rockstar I would dye my hair and not give a ****.
If i was a rockstar I'd. be abl to wake up whenever I want.
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Old 03-26-2003, 01:04 AM   #15
priceyfatprude
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If I were a rockstar, I'd hock my used Kleenex on e-bay.

If I were a rockstar, I'd buy my mother a mansion & some staff.

If I were a rockstar, I'd carry my dog around with me all day, just like in Legally Blonde.

If I were a rockstar, I'd support our troops by going over there & giving them a free concert in the muthaf*ckin' sand.

If I were a rockstar, my dog would eat filet mignon.

If I were a rockstar, I'd donate oodles & oodles of charities.

If I were a rockstar, I'm make goddam sure no one had any access to f*cking hilarious pics of me from earlier in my career that they could share w/their friends & laugh @ long after we've broken up. *cough*
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