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Old 04-24-2008, 03:40 PM   #31
zero
 
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two words: no sugar
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Old 04-24-2008, 04:00 PM   #32
YsaPur EsChomuw
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No sugar, eh?

In hell to have sex you have to fill in a form, have it signed by seven city officials, get a stamp of approval from the mayor with a number on it, then you go to a waiting room with a counter*. You wait for ages for your number (no pun intended), but when it finally appears the counter always jumps by one more digit.

*confusingly set to binary numbers
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Old 04-25-2008, 01:15 PM   #33
treekisser
It isn't easy being green
 
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In hell, you can have sex anytime you want with whoever you want, but no one ever pays any attention to you no matter what.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:22 AM   #34
Brynn
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In hell, the bus you need to catch is always leaving when you're half a block away.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:32 AM   #35
lukkucairi
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in hell, you have constant annoying crusty boogers, and you're made to wear mittens so you can't pick your nose.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:38 AM   #36
Brynn
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In hell, everyone's just a little deaf and you have to repeat everything you say at least twice to make yourself understood.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:43 PM   #37
brightpearl
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In hell we always have a hangnail on our index fingers.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:07 PM   #38
Coffee
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In hell it is possible to regulate any industry's prices except for the industry that the president of hell has a financial interest in.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:58 PM   #39
treekisser
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In hell, the only bathroom is always occupied whenever you need to use it.
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Old 04-30-2008, 03:07 PM   #40
brightpearl
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In hell, our shampoo and our pancake syrup are indistinguishable.
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Old 04-30-2008, 03:28 PM   #41
Marcus Bales
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In hell you can never find the staple-eater except when you're looking for the stapler, and if you've just seen the stapler you're looking for, all you can find is the staple-eater.

Especially when you're in a hurry.
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My strength is as the strength of eight --
My heart is nearly pure.
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Old 04-30-2008, 05:48 PM   #42
lukkucairi
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in hell, you have to cold call.
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:17 PM   #43
brightpearl
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In hell, all the cats are Siamese.
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Old 05-01-2008, 09:31 AM   #44
treekisser
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In hell, Muzak is piped in everywhere nonstop.
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Old 05-01-2008, 10:55 AM   #45
zero
 
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hell:it's a bulletin board
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