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#61 |
Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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In hell, we can never find the tweezers.
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#62 |
________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell, you walk around with a huge boner all the time, and every time you try to touch it some imp bites your hand off, but every once in a while a demon will come along and reach out and grasp it and for a moment you think you're going to get some relief and then he rips it off and throws it into a pit and you scream until you look down and see it has all grown back and you have a huge boner again, and when you try to touch it to reassure yourself of your old friend, imps come by and bite your hands off again.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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#63 |
oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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In hell, you somehow always end up saying the opposite of what you actually want to say.
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#64 |
________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell all grant requests are a day late no matter how early you submit them.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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#65 |
oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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#66 |
constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
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Hell has no poets.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. |
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#67 |
oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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The only ice-cream stand in hell sells unusual flavours... They make you burn slowly from the inside, too.
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#68 |
lichtzauberer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: in a tight spot!
Posts: 5,843
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in hell, it's always allergy season, and there are no kleenex.
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#69 |
oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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In hell, the shortage of kleenex is due to the fact that it became the basic material for food-processing industries. All food is made of tissue paper and tastes like it, too.
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#70 |
________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell no one judges The Dictionary Game
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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#71 |
lichtzauberer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: in a tight spot!
Posts: 5,843
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in hell, there are only ill-fitting brassieres.
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#72 |
________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell your cup chafes so bad you take it out -- and instantly a foul tip catches you in the nuts.
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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#73 |
lichtzauberer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: in a tight spot!
Posts: 5,843
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in hell, you've lost your 3-iron.
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#74 |
Cheeses Save
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,203
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In Hell if you misbehave they say you will suffer for eternity on Earth if you don't shape up.
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#75 |
lichtzauberer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: in a tight spot!
Posts: 5,843
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in hell you have a lot of work to do the next day so you try to be good and get to sleep at 10 only to wake up again at 1:30 in a panic because it's spring and you've left the houseplants outside and it might be too cold for them and then you get up and find that it's not that cold after all and now you're awake in the middle of the night and you've got no idea what to do with yourself.
so you bring the houseplants in anyway. every night. |
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