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Old 03-12-2006, 01:30 PM   #1
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Chuck Norris

There can only be one Chuck Norris. Any more, and the world would collapse due to the many Norrises.

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Old 03-12-2006, 01:31 PM   #2
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Florida used to be in a straight line, until Chuck Norris kicked Miami for refusing to make a "Chuck Norris Day".
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:32 PM   #3
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If you ever see Chuck Norris running, it's already too late.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:32 PM   #4
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The reason there has been so many different Batman's is because Chuck Norris kept killing them off.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:33 PM   #5
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:34 PM   #6
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There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:36 PM   #7
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Whilst paying a visit in Berlin, Chuck Norris paid a visit to the "Potsdamer Platz", a building notorious for having a lift that can cover 24 floors in less than 15 seconds. Upon hearing this Norris decided to race the lift using the stairs. Needless to say the first thing people saw when the lift doors opened on the 24th floor was Chuck Norris tapping his watch smugly.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:37 PM   #8
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Chuck Norris has never been rained upon. Mother Nature can't risk those kinds of repercussions.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:38 PM   #9
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Chuck Norris found Waldo, beat the shit out of him, and chained him to a radiator so he couldn't ever disappear again.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:38 PM   #10
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It took NASA's top engineers 17 years to develop tools durable and precise enough to trim Chuck Norris' beard.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:39 PM   #11
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Chuck Norris took 3 of every animal on his ark. Then he called Noah a ***** and roundhoused kicked a Minotaur.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:40 PM   #12
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Ever wonder why the toilet doors are always busted in public restrooms? They got in the way of Chuck Norris taking a shit, that's why.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:42 PM   #13
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When God sneezes, the seraphim sing, "Chuck bless you."
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:43 PM   #14
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They may say that Chuck Yeager first broke the sound barrier, but it was actually a disoriented Chuck Norris. He was just a little fatigued from having sex for the previous 70 hours straight and had forgotten his last name.
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Old 03-12-2006, 01:44 PM   #15
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Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

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