Post something that made you laugh today. - Page 4 - ZEFRANK.COM

Smartypants · 03-29-2004, 03:23 PM

This e-mail just arrived. Recycled humor, yes, but it sill made me laugh:

One night George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House
bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing beside him. Bush
looks up and asks, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help
the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington
advises, then fades away.

The next night, Bush is astir again when he sees the ghost of Thomas
Jefferson moving silently around the bedroom. Bush calls out: "Tom,
please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and then
dims from sight.

The third night sleep still evades Bush. He sees the ghost of FDR
Hovering over his bed. Bush lowers his voice and asks, "Franklin, What
is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

In that golden voice of his, FDR replies, "Help the less fortunate,
Just as I did," and then he disappears.

Bush still isn't sleeping well the fourth night. He tosses and
turns, and suddenly another figure moves out of the shadows. It's the
ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

"Abe," Bush pleads, "what's the best thing I can do right now to help
the country?"

Lincoln pauses, then replies, "Go see a play."

JesusTitties · 03-29-2004, 03:33 PM

i saw a homeless guy doing the macarena last week on the street for money.
now, homelessness is not funny - nor is his situation. but when you are stuck at a red light at rush hour and watching this, it is rather amusing.

lvlycwgirl · 03-31-2004, 07:01 PM

I was explaining to my little boy the medicinal benefits of Aloe Vera plants. I told him how to break off a piece of the plant and rub the "goo" on his burn. "Then do I sprinkle gunpowder on it and light it with a match?"

Apparently my little boy watches to many cowboy movies.

ally · 03-31-2004, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by daverbee
This. Once again from I Am Eating My Husband's Soul:

My Hamster, My Self

He had a rat on his shoulder. It was his best feature.

ohhh man, all of that made me laugh, but that one sentance had me in tears!!!

maychorian · 03-31-2004, 08:50 PM

I go to a conservative college, and it nobody gives anyone the finger. However, a friend offered an alternative: stick up your pinky.

"That means: 'I hope you die a virgin,'" he said excitedly. "Isn't it worse?"

Man, I love that kid. He makes me laugh all the time.

Frieda · 03-31-2004, 08:53 PM

"are you german?"

made me laugh AGAIN

and out loud too!

sparticle · 03-31-2004, 08:53 PM

The Great Bacon Fiasco, or, "Jesus Wept"

Avalon · 03-31-2004, 09:37 PM

QUOTE]Originally posted by Frieda
i had

4-cheese pizza with plastic still on the bottom [/quote]

Oh Frieda..this one hit home and gave me a good laugh, thanks hon

Wldchld · 03-31-2004, 10:17 PM

I have been trying to explain to my 4yr old that lying is not good, we always try to tell the truth. He told a lie earlier & I asked him why he lied. He said "I'm sorry Mommy, but I didn't lie. I just told you the wrong truth."

Trying not to snicker I explained that "the wrong truth" is a lie.

Avalon · 03-31-2004, 10:50 PM

We had to have the same talk..only about lying by omission.
"I didn't lie, I didn't even tell her"

The best was when my daughter brought home some badly done school work, and my husband told her : I do not want to see papers like this again. Well, we didn't lol.....She just didn't bring them home anymore! So when we asked her..any bad papers in your bag? She always said no...and there weren't, so she didn't think it was a lie. First grade logic

catbelly · 03-31-2004, 11:18 PM

Heh ... wldchld and Avalon... are you available to go back in time approx. 30 years and speak to my ex-husband about these issues?

Yeh the JesusTitties Bacon Debacle made me laugh out loud today! Can't fry bacon without thinking of JT.

Coffee · 03-31-2004, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by catbelly

Yeh the JesusTitties Bacon Debacle made me laugh out loud today! Can't fry bacon without thinking of JT.

That's it...no more bacon for you miss!!

catbelly · 04-01-2004, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coffee
That's it...no more bacon for you miss!!

\

Admit it, sir, you were thinking about that TOO when the bacon started popping and spitting

Dark Chocolate · 04-01-2004, 12:43 AM

zenbabe’s post in the current events forum about Richard Simmons bitchslapping a cagedancer. Hahaha!

Frieda · 04-01-2004, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Avalon
QUOTE]Originally posted by Frieda
i had

4-cheese pizza with plastic still on the bottom

Oh Frieda..this one hit home and gave me a good laugh, thanks hon [/quote]
hey, i'll eat plastic for you any time

03-29-2004, 03:23 PM	#46
Smartypants MR. Smartypants to you. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Oh, YOU PEOPLE go ahead and call it "Frisco." See if I care. Posts: 3,967	This e-mail just arrived. Recycled humor, yes, but it sill made me laugh: One night George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing beside him. Bush looks up and asks, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, then fades away. The next night, Bush is astir again when he sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving silently around the bedroom. Bush calls out: "Tom, please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?" "Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and then dims from sight. The third night sleep still evades Bush. He sees the ghost of FDR Hovering over his bed. Bush lowers his voice and asks, "Franklin, What is the best thing I could do to help the country?" In that golden voice of his, FDR replies, "Help the less fortunate, Just as I did," and then he disappears. Bush still isn't sleeping well the fourth night. He tosses and turns, and suddenly another figure moves out of the shadows. It's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. "Abe," Bush pleads, "what's the best thing I can do right now to help the country?" Lincoln pauses, then replies, "Go see a play." __________________ "I don't think God wants us to believe in him. If he wanted us to believe in him he'd do something about it -- like exist perhaps!" --Linda Smith

03-31-2004, 07:01 PM	#48
lvlycwgirl I have nothing to declare Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: lost in love......... Posts: 415	I was explaining to my little boy the medicinal benefits of Aloe Vera plants. I told him how to break off a piece of the plant and rub the "goo" on his burn. "Then do I sprinkle gunpowder on it and light it with a match?" Apparently my little boy watches to many cowboy movies. __________________ Humor is a quality of perception that enables us to experience joy even when faced with adversity

03-31-2004, 08:50 PM	#50
maychorian always somewhere else Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: still somewhere else Posts: 715	I go to a conservative college, and it nobody gives anyone the finger. However, a friend offered an alternative: stick up your pinky. "That means: 'I hope you die a virgin,'" he said excitedly. "Isn't it worse?" Man, I love that kid. He makes me laugh all the time. __________________ Jamaica me crazy!

03-31-2004, 08:53 PM	#51
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	"are you german?" made me laugh AGAIN and out loud too! __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

03-31-2004, 09:37 PM	#53
Avalon Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: A much better place Posts: 5,931	QUOTE]Originally posted by Frieda i had 4-cheese pizza with plastic still on the bottom [/quote] Oh Frieda..this one hit home and gave me a good laugh, thanks hon __________________ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

03-29-2004, 03:33 PM	#47
JesusTitties ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 3,124	i saw a homeless guy doing the macarena last week on the street for money. now, homelessness is not funny - nor is his situation. but when you are stuck at a red light at rush hour and watching this, it is rather amusing.

03-31-2004, 08:53 PM	#52
sparticle Conspiracy Theorist Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cleveland, oh Posts: 4,702	The Great Bacon Fiasco, or, "Jesus Wept"

03-31-2004, 10:17 PM	#54
Wldchld in the middle of it Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 160	I have been trying to explain to my 4yr old that lying is not good, we always try to tell the truth. He told a lie earlier & I asked him why he lied. He said "I'm sorry Mommy, but I didn't lie. I just told you the wrong truth." Trying not to snicker I explained that "the wrong truth" is a lie. __________________ Keep your words soft & sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

03-31-2004, 10:50 PM	#55
Avalon Moderator Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: A much better place Posts: 5,931	We had to have the same talk..only about lying by omission. "I didn't lie, I didn't even tell her" The best was when my daughter brought home some badly done school work, and my husband told her : I do not want to see papers like this again. Well, we didn't lol.....She just didn't bring them home anymore! So when we asked her..any bad papers in your bag? She always said no...and there weren't, so she didn't think it was a lie. First grade logic __________________ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

03-31-2004, 11:18 PM	#56
catbelly monkey Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the north Posts: 1,757	Heh ... wldchld and Avalon... are you available to go back in time approx. 30 years and speak to my ex-husband about these issues? Yeh the JesusTitties Bacon Debacle made me laugh out loud today! Can't fry bacon without thinking of JT.

04-01-2004, 12:43 AM	#59
Dark Chocolate Seductress Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: In your mouth Posts: 239	zenbabe’s post in the current events forum about Richard Simmons bitchslapping a cagedancer. Hahaha! __________________ dark. rich. scrumptious. indescribably beautiful.

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