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Old 11-09-2004, 11:37 PM   #751
Spicy Jack
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Old 11-10-2004, 03:39 AM   #752
trisherina
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Quote:
Originally posted by madasacutsnake
What's with the aus lit lately?
Gotta make my glasses and dresser scarf feel at home.
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Old 11-10-2004, 07:59 PM   #753
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Paddy the famous Irishman borrows his mates car to drive home after downing a few at the local pub.

He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.

He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop.

The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says..........

Fer Feck's sake, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"
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Old 11-10-2004, 09:49 PM   #754
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This made me crack up! Thanks Ava!. I really needed a good laugh today.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by masterofNone
grow a sense of humor, dick.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by masterofNone
dumbass.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote: Avalon

Ya know, I was going to suggest Paxil or some other mood altering drug; I thought you might even grow weary of being the crabby old bastard of the board. Guess not.
I think this may be what is in order. No need to bend over.
This sweet enough for you?


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Old 11-11-2004, 06:08 PM   #755
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Quote:
Originally posted by Smartypants
But I was thinking something a bit skimpier and show-offy, like this.

(Althought I realize unless I disrobe completely and get excited so my tattooed name can be seen in its entire length, your version is a more tasteful way of letting people know my name without speaking it.)

First shock, then laughter that could scare the co-workers! OMG! I love the detail of the "happy-trail" and "package". WOW!
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Old 11-11-2004, 06:28 PM   #756
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Old 11-11-2004, 08:14 PM   #757
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SMARTYPANTS!
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Old 11-11-2004, 11:01 PM   #758
madasacutsnake
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^^

What they said and:

Quote:
Originally posted by Coffee


**** you.
fvck you.

I HAT you.
Leave me alone.

Go away.
fvck you...you go away.

Stop touching me.
fvck you...that's your hand.

Ya...well, you made it move.
Grow up.
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Old 11-11-2004, 11:06 PM   #759
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is what it would be like if moN were siamese twins
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 11-12-2004, 02:42 AM   #760
madasacutsnake
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hyakujo's Fox
Is not rat, is Filigree Siberian hamster.

-- Manuel
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Old 11-12-2004, 03:22 AM   #761
Hyakujo's Fox
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One evening a woman meets a handsome man in a bar. They get to talking, and one thing leading to another, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment. When she goes into the bedroom she finds it completely packed with hundreds of sweet cuddly teddy bears. Dozens of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, then more cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous fluffy bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is kind of surprised that a guy would have such a huge collection of teddy bears, and not think anything of letting a woman see it, but she decides not to say anyting to him since she is actually quite impressed by a guy with such a sensitive side to himself.

So eventually they kiss, then undress and spend the night making love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, lying there together in the afterglow, she rolls over and says to the guy, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

And the guy says...

"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
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Old 11-12-2004, 03:29 AM   #762
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Lately, at the grocery store..there have been bands of people that the cops look out for...they come up to you and ask for some change...then when you reach to get some from your purse..they snatch it...jerks...

Anywho...I see the same ones outside all the time...and I know they see me....*does fokers fork eyes*

So one of them follows me to my car, is walking behind me and catches up and says "can I ask you a silly question?" I looked at him and said "you just did" and kept walking...he stopped in his tracks for a second...then turned around and walked back to the front of the store...I don't think he knew what to say....or even got it for a second or two...

I guess you had to be there.....but I am going to say that from now on anytime somebody asks me that...............

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Old 11-12-2004, 05:59 AM   #763
trisherina
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Quote:
Originally posted by sparticle
... the people who need the lessons would never believe that they are the people who need the lessons.
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Old 11-12-2004, 02:18 PM   #764
Klynne
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Quote:
Originally posted by dinzdale
Paddy the famous Irishman borrows his mates car to drive home after downing a few at the local pub.

He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.

He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop.

The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says..........

Fer Feck's sake, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"
HAHAHA. I liked this one!
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Old 11-15-2004, 09:51 PM   #765
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Zen: "I wish I was getting some sweet, hot lovin'"

Topcat: "i wish i was in san diego givin zen what she needs"

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