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Old 05-12-2003, 04:50 AM   #1546
Frieda
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jesus beale! take care, man! and good luck!
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Old 05-12-2003, 05:52 AM   #1547
bealeblues
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4:44 am, monday: fvcking grammar errors. well, at least i am coherent enough to spot them and i am editing at a furious pace. I know my boss will be here in about 45 minutes wanting his precious draft (the fvcking thing isn't due until NEXT monday) so he can drain his red pen all over it while i'm in court....

btw, thanks for the encouragement guys...
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Old 05-12-2003, 06:34 AM   #1548
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5:26 am, monday: i have now done 2 more edits to the draft. at this point, i think it is ready for at least a cursory review and i don't think that i'll be hung by my scrotum for poor content/editing.... at any rate, this took far far far longer than i anticipated, either due my gross underestimation of the project or due to astute brainstorms that i had while writing which required me to re-tool in midstream...

yeah, i know it was b/c i was a moron who underestimated the project, you don't even need to tell me.....

now i have to wait 4 hours for court....
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Old 05-12-2003, 07:30 AM   #1549
Frieda
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don't fall asleep and be late.
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Old 05-12-2003, 07:37 AM   #1550
RuneT
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"Beale is running with the ball to the finishline! Yes, Yes! Oh wait, big boss is on ther run as well. will he be able to intercept Beale?"

"One thing that's amazing with this player is that he hardly ever sleep"

"Ow wait, it looks like Beale is slowing down!"

"And look at BIG BOSS! What a tremendous speed!"
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Old 05-12-2003, 07:56 AM   #1551
bealeblues
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6:00am, monday: bossman saunters into the office demanding the brief, as expected. in my delirium, i act as if i've been shot and immediately say "holy shit, i KNEW there was something that i needed to do this weekend". boss is not amused. i tell him to relax and i hand him the brief. he goes back to his office where his red pen awaits. i stay in my office on pins and needles. the question remains-- do the arguments which sound oh so convincing sound the same at 6am as they did at 2am?

6:20am, monday: the summoning call comes through. i walk down the hall, wondering if i will be cheered or jeered. or worse, ridiculed and summarily fired. at this point, sweet death would be a welcome harbinger. i sit in the chair and he hands me the brief. without looking at it, i ask him if he followed what i was trying to argue. having a sense of humor, he says that it was the worst pile of shite he's ever read and that he's convinced i paid a first year law student to write it. however, to his detriment, the man cannot keep a straight face when he's trying to bust your balls. seeing this, i know that i have passed the first trial by fire. now for the client who's due to arrive at any minute. oh by the way, the client is one of the most respected attorneys in all of baton rouge (retired) and my boss' best friend. this client is more particular than my boss, who's notorious for being a nitpicking SOB. time is now 6:50 am, monday.

more to come.
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Old 05-12-2003, 08:18 AM   #1552
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beale, write a book. this stuff is exciting!
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Old 05-12-2003, 08:33 AM   #1553
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At least give it its own thread!
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Old 05-12-2003, 08:49 AM   #1554
bealeblues
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7:41am, monday: still waiting for client to arrive. i am now wishing that he won't show until 8:30 b/c by then i will have left for court. if he comes at any point b/t now and 8:30, he will seriously throw a kink in my routine b/c he's the type that you can't say 'look, i have to go'.... btw, he's from NY-- go figure.....

oh yes, my direct boss is fuming mad at me b/c i have done none of his work while working on this brief. however, he knew of this brief, the significance of this brief (about a $500,000 case), and the time it would take to do this brief. but now that i'm done (practically), he is taking his shots at me.... bring it on, damn the torpedoes... i'm just delirious enough not to care....
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Old 05-12-2003, 09:23 AM   #1555
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8:16am, monday: what did i say, what did i say? the fvcking client is now here, 14 minutes before i have to go to court.... yes, it is monday, dammit to hell.....
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Old 05-12-2003, 10:27 AM   #1556
agentsmith
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beale's a lawyer!
dats what i wanna be!
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Old 05-12-2003, 11:18 AM   #1557
Deviate
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bitch, bitch, bitch, beale.

-st.
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Old 05-12-2003, 11:40 AM   #1558
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He was so much happier when he worked at Big Mary's 24hr Donuts, Bait and Topless Car Wash.....
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Old 05-12-2003, 12:50 PM   #1559
bealeblues
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*happily accepts the grey goose; now before i pass out from exhaustion and the goose, lemme give you the updated breakdown*

8:29am: client has brief AND notepad in hand for critiquing purposes; i tell him that i am off to court and that i will review his suggestions upon my return. i am warmly received and wished good fortune before the judge.

9:00am: after a very bleary eyed drive, spiced with high decibles of black crowes to fend off narcolepsy, i arrive at the courthouse. now, i must be early to this particular court because the judge is notorious for starting court either 15 minutes BEFORE designated time or 45 minutes late. it's at his discretion. poor new orleans bastards don't realize this and it's comical to see them walk into court, presumably on time, and realize that they are now at the end of the 45 case docket b/c they were not present during calling of the docket. This means that they will not get back home until probably 3:00 pm. One of life's simple pleasures.

9:15 am. this is not going to be one of the judge's early docket days. i know now court will not start until 10:00. what the hell am i going to do to stay awake?

9:30am: my first little catnap. i purposefully keep looking at the clock just to know, in case i fall asleep, how long i've been asleep. this one only lasted 3 minutes.

9:42 am: second catnap. another 3 minutes. was i noticed? probably. do i care? not at all. i know these bastards.

10:00 am: docket call. fvck. i'm 21st. at least an hour, even with the cancellations.

10:30 am: GET TO YOUR POINT AND SHUT THE HELL UP. THE JUDGE KNOWS HOW HE'S GOING TO RULE ALREADY. YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.

10:35 am: the judge stops the lawyer from arguing. he offers a bit of advice: "one of the keys to successful argument is knowing when you've made your point and when to shut up. if you look up every once in a while, you'll know when your judge has stopped listening to you". he lost his motion.

11:00am: sweet rapture. i'm up. thought i was unopposed, but the lady (in proper person) showed up. but, since no opposition was filed, i win by default. good thing b/c i barely was able to make my appearance for the record. however, i do have the sense to say "judge, since there is no proper opposition filed, i will submit the case for judgment unless you want argument". he declines and renders judgment for me. yippee.

11:30am: back to the office-- again bleary eyed and only thanks to high decibels of black crowes-- "remedy" this time.

11:35 am: holy shite. client has read the brief-- i see the notepad on my desk. *play dramatic score here*.... he has 2 word changes out of a 25 page brief. he writes, and i quote "excellent-- call me". poor bastard must've also been up all night or on strong medication b/c he's obviously delirious too.

11:40am: log on to zefrank to spin my yarn. now i'm done. while i'll be here, i'll be in my coma, thank you very much.

i'll be here all week. tip your waiters and waitresses b/c they've been working hard for you.
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Old 05-12-2003, 12:50 PM   #1560
rmr
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Sean Paul.....get busy

Snow....informer

Snow....informer

Sean Paul....get busy

Same person? Different people? Could Sean Paul be the Artist formerly known as Snow? I've been pondering this subject all morning.

Maybe he had reverse Michael Jackson surgery?? Hmmmmm, must listen to both songs again. I will "get busy" and find a "informer" to give me the "word" on this subject!!!
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