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Old 04-29-2004, 09:03 PM   #151
Gatsby
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My cat likes high places. He likes to jump on top of the doors and peer down condescendingly at the world beneath him as he sits on the 1 1/2 inch-wide door top. His jumping skills are incredibile....

So this morning, in the bathroom, he jumped up on top of the bathroom door. Then he put his front paws on the top of the cabinet door that was open. And the cabinet door started sloooowly being pushed shut by his weight, which the bathroom door was swinging the opposite way...

Poor kid was stretched out like an accordian, crying like he was being tortured. I was laughing so hard I could barely lift him down.

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Old 04-30-2004, 04:59 AM   #152
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MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- An Oklahoma woman drove around for days with her mother's decomposing body in the passenger seat of her car, Florida investigators said Thursday.

(how the HECK do u not notice!)
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Old 04-30-2004, 09:30 AM   #153
Willow Sylph
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Quote:
Originally posted by GatsbyGirl
My cat likes high places. He likes to jump on top of the doors and peer down condescendingly at the world beneath him as he sits on the 1 1/2 inch-wide door top. His jumping skills are incredibile....

So this morning, in the bathroom, he jumped up on top of the bathroom door. Then he put his front paws on the top of the cabinet door that was open. And the cabinet door started sloooowly being pushed shut by his weight, which the bathroom door was swinging the opposite way...

Poor kid was stretched out like an accordian, crying like he was being tortured. I was laughing so hard I could barely lift him down.

Aaaaw! Poor kitty kitty. But did you get a picture of this?!

Clytie - that's totally grose. How? Whu..?!

I cruise by this thread often and never have anything to add, darnit. Apparently nothing in my life is THAT funny. Someone give me one of their stories to share.
Send it to me in a PM. I won't tell. Shhh.
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Old 04-30-2004, 09:40 AM   #154
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clytie
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- An Oklahoma woman drove around for days with her mother's decomposing body in the passenger seat of her car, Florida investigators said Thursday.

(how the HECK do u not notice!)
The fact that she never needed to go the loo should have been a big tip off
What about the lady who slept with her hsb. corpse for 2 years because she " couldn't stand the thought of being without him"??
Takes all kinds I guess.....
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Old 04-30-2004, 10:01 AM   #155
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aaargh ewww not funny!!

I want FUNNY!
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Old 04-30-2004, 10:56 AM   #156
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funny is how her nose looked after takin off the clothespin, wearin it for two years
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Old 04-30-2004, 11:58 AM   #157
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A friend of mine is going through divorce and her mother sent her this, I especially like the last line...

Women Are All Luscious Apples

Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
And...
Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the fark out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Old 04-30-2004, 01:53 PM   #158
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HA! LOL
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Old 04-30-2004, 03:48 PM   #159
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lvly -- thats a good one...

as far as that dead lady goes...i have no idea how u wouldnt notice...think of the smell--wait maybe u better not
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Old 04-30-2004, 11:10 PM   #160
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BEST LINE EVER

"say, have you seen those shoes that light up when you walk in them? i mean, what is the deal?"
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Old 04-30-2004, 11:36 PM   #161
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Huh? Bink has like 7 pairs of those....in varying sizes, of course.
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Old 05-01-2004, 12:20 AM   #162
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Quote:
Originally posted by Avalon
What about the lady who slept with her hsb. corpse for 2 years because she " couldn't stand the thought of being without him"??
Takes all kinds I guess.....
Somebody needed to explain the term "stiff" to her, I guess; some people are way too literal-minded.

I can just hear her bragging to the bridge club.

"My husband's stiff all night, every night!"

"How nice for you, dear."


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Old 05-01-2004, 12:22 AM   #163
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"its been so long"
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Old 05-01-2004, 01:49 AM   #164
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clytie
"its been so long"
hahaha - "Cat People"
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Old 05-01-2004, 02:31 AM   #165
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i had a drunk guy tonight push on a door that said pull, then come back and tell me the door was locked
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