ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > Et Cetera
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 4 votes, 4.00 average. Display Modes
Old 07-29-2007, 07:13 AM   #76
brightpearl
Rhinoceros fan
 
brightpearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
Parts 21-33

Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
II. Second Party:
III. Third Party:
Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
1. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
1a. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

1b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee.

1c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

2. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

3. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.


Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
1. duties to report the Incident to the board...ie. documentation
1a. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.

Rule #26. - On Staleness
-subcategory, where threads go to die

Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

1. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

Rule #31. - On Lurking

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos
1. It's fun, isn't it?

2. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

3. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
- Kindergarten graduation footage
- clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
- country-western music videos recorded after 1996
- political speeches

4. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

5. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.


Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
brightpearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2007, 09:59 AM   #77
Stephi_B
waaaaaaa :)
 
Stephi_B's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Berlin
Posts: 3,875
Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
II. Second Party:
III. Third Party:
Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
[u]1. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
1a. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

1b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee.

1c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

2. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

3. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.

4. Before the permission to the legendary Hot Asian Chick parties is given, a 36h (minimum!) introductory course must be passed at Mr Johnston's. The office is open for applications on Wednesdays 10.00-12.00 MET. Please do not forget to fill the 10 page form beforehand, Mr Johnston will thoroughly check them.

Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
1. duties to report the Incident to the board...ie. documentation
1a. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.
2. Possibly occurring bad vibes are to be left outside in the cruel, cold, real world
2a. Any good vibes resulting from a meeting are to be brought here and shared with the community

Rule #26. - On Staleness
-subcategory, where threads go to die

Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

1. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

1. Using more than 3 times on a single day will be punished by a week's ban on this smiley. Any further offense in that direction will lead to a month's ban to use any smiley but

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing
1. In case of repetitive and/or extensive editing add a reason, best in form of a small, witty rhyme to milden your fellow monkeys' annoyance.

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

Rule #31. - On Lurking

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos
1. It's fun, isn't it?

2. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

3. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
- Kindergarten graduation footage
- clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
- country-western music videos recorded after 1996
- political speeches

4. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

5. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.

Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
Rule #34. - On the Extensive Use of Brackets and Nested Sentences
1. First time offenders are to post in sentences of 1-5 words for a week. Any use of brackets during this week will extend the penalty period by a further day.
Stephi_B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2007, 03:44 PM   #78
Anna
n
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
Parts 21-43

Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
II. Second Party:
III. Third Party:
Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
22a. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
22ai. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

22b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on [u]Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee

22c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

22d. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

22e. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.

22f. Before the permission to the legendary Hot Asian Chick parties is given, a 36h (minimum!) introductory course must be passed at Mr Johnston's. The office is open for applications on Wednesdays 10.00-12.00 MET. Please do not forget to fill the 10 page form beforehand, Mr Johnston will thoroughly check them.

Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
25a. duties to report the Incident to the board...ie. documentation
25ai. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.

25b. Possibly occurring bad vibes are to be left outside in the cruel, cold, real world
25bii. Any good vibes resulting from a meeting are to be brought here and shared with the community

Rule #26. - On Staleness
-subcategory, where threads go to die

Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

27a. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

28a. Using more than 3 times on a single day will be punished by a week's ban on this smiley. Any further offense in that direction will lead to a month's ban to use any smiley but

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing

29a. In case of repetitive and/or extensive editing add a reason, best in form of a small, witty rhyme to milden your fellow monkeys' annoyance.

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

Rule #31. - On Lurking

31a. Only logged in board members can hear you lurking.

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos

32a. It's fun, isn't it?

32b. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

32c. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
i. - kindergarten graduation footage.
ii. - clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
iii. - country-western music videos recorded after 1996.
iv. - political speeches.
v. - for the sake of anime.
32e. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

32f. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.

Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
Rule #34. - On the Extensive Use of Brackets and Nested Sentences

34a. First time offenders are to post in sentences of 1-5 words for a week. Any use of brackets during this week will extend the penalty period by a further day.


Rule #35. - On the Development of a Fulsome Plenitude of

Rule #36. - On Being Sideways
-see Rules #5 #8 #11 #15 #20 #21 #27

Rule #37. - On Back Doors

Rule #38. - On Cliques

Rule #39. - On Invisibility

Rule #40. - On Siblings

Rule #41. - On How to Properly Distribute Attention and Huggles

Rule #42. - On Evacuation

42a. plan and emergency

42b. email contact list in case of fire or flood

Rule #43. - On When to Makes Polls

43a. poll the people on all things and everything

43b. always allow at least four options and other

Last edited by Anna : 07-31-2007 at 08:13 PM. Reason: formatting adding
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2007, 03:51 PM   #79
Anna
n
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
Parts 11-20

Rule #11 - On Forgiveness

11a. Be generous with Forgiveness.

11b. Try to understand both sides

11c. If you cannot understand both sides, find your own side, poke it twice and giggle quietly. Poke it three times if you are not that ticklish.

11d. When all else fails, offer fresh baked cookies.


Rule #12 - On Irony and Its Applications in Ways That Are Not Easy To Understand, But Are Apparently Irresistible to "I".

12a. See Rule
33


Rule #13 - On Rules

13a. Rules are more like guidelines: as in "Rules are too stultifying for what we are trying to create here".

13b. The above is a rule, and should not be taken lightly as one might a guideline.

13c. When in doubt, ask. Specific doubt is better than general doubt.

13d. Rules can change.

Rule #14 - Of or Pertaining to Action Phrases

14a. posts intended to indicate a single action must be set between asterisks. (example: *posts new rule*)

14b. multiple actions must be separated into individual action sets, each with an associated asterisk pair. (example: *posts new rule* *comes up with examples*)

14c. actions must be phrased in present tense.

14d. failing to close an action phrase with the second asterisk will result in an interpretation of ongoing action in every subsequent post, regardless of content, until such time as the poster remembers to insert the errant asterisk.


Rule #15 - On Bullying

15.a. Bullying shall be defined as "choosing any individual for ongoing harassment, belittlement and/or abuse, whether or not they deserve it."

15b. Gentle teasing is not bullying. However, if an individual takes exception to what you consider gentle teasing, you must desist, make polite apologies, and feel very silly and embarrassed for a day or two or until your unintended victim tells you you’re off the hook, whichever takes longer.

15c. If you don’t like someone for any reason – say, they don’t speak English too well, you suspect they have Republican tendencies, or they just make you feel icky - you must try putting them on ignore.

15c.1. If you cannot resist peeking at the ignored member's posts once you have put them on ignore, zefrank.com/bulletin will not be held accountable for any anger, disgust, revulsion, nausea, headaches, cramps (including butt puckering), homicidal impulses, psychotic breaks, and other negative reactions you may experience.


Rule 16 - On Getting Too Serious

1. Dont.
2. Know your chicken.


Rule #17 - On Appreciation

17a. Express genuine gratitude.

17b. See Rule #11

17c. Expressions of appreciation must not be used for the purpose of manipulation (or not too much).

17d. Ass Kissing is the Pun of Appreciation.
17di. less it's a cute one. turn around please. (see rule #16)


Rule #18 - On Acceptable Forms of Negativity

18a. Always love your fellow monkeys
18b. Giving someone a swat on the ass is acceptable if needed. This shall also be known as an infarction.
18bi. Perfectly acceptable and encouraged to ask the man whose name is in the url before you give a swat.


Rule #19 - On Love

19a. Always love your dog
19ai. Always love yourself.
19b. You do not have to love your fellow Monkeys, but you do need to treat them with respect.
19bi If you cannot follow Rule 19b, one of the moderators will work it out with you until you can be respectful.
19c. Agreeing to disagree is always acceptable.
19d. Following rule 19a/19ai is highly suggested to be an action of first resort, for even if your dog is a cat or a ficus, this action will make rules 19b - 19c very easy, and may even protect you from public underwear folding or unwanted pets from creature corner.


Rule #20 - On Taking Responsibility For Your Words And Actions

20a. If you are being a jerk and you know it, please just apologize.
20ai. There is no need to justify your actions, in fact, you can't. If you did something wrong, own up to it. Take responsibility & say 'I was wrong and I'm sorry'. Explaining bad behavior away with excuses just makes it seem like you really don't regret your actions.
20b If you are getting messages from several people (let's say 8 or more) that you are being a jerk, assume that you are and see rule 20a. Jerk.

Last edited by Anna : 07-29-2007 at 04:31 PM.
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-29-2007, 04:13 PM   #80
Anna
n
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
in which rules are set for everything
only half kidding - Parts 1 through 10

Rule Zero: Regadring Typos

0a. Mis-spelings do nto coutn againts yuo.

Rule #1: Regarding the Use of All-Caps.

1a. All-Caps shall be used to signify additional emphasis given to a word. The meaning of said word will remain the same, as will the volume at which the word is spoken if the sentence containing this word is spoken, as one might to a child who, not yet having the ability to read, requested that it be read to them at an hour appropriate to such things.

1b. The emphasis conferred by All Caps will be measured in the following way:

- using that type of scary voice (but not actually singing) like dave grohl of the foo fighters at one of the intense bits in one of bigger hit songs e.g. "the monkey wrench"

- dividing Maximal Emphasis Possible By Any Sentence (MEPBAS) by the number of words in All-Caps, and giving to each its even share.

1bi. On the Paradox of a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:

- a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps (SWEAC), since it divides the MEPBAS by the Maximum All Capped Words (MACaW) creates a ratio of 1:1. This erases any emphasis that each individual All Capped word might have carried, dropping the emphasis level of the entire sentence effectively to nil. Plus Dave Grohl gets laryngitis.

1bii. On the Proper Response to a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:
One should whisper in size 1 Italics.


Rule #2: On collation

2a. Always collate for the convenience of later posters.

2ai Posters breaking Rule #2 shall be subject to the following consequences:
- Offending posts will be winged, but not ducked.
- The poster will receive a single infraction which will count towards their total DMRS score (DMRS score not valid in Hawaii, Wisconsin, or Lower Elbonia. Actual value less than one cent).
- The poster will receive "The Look" from their own mother.

2b. On the preferred method of collating:
People should be collated by height, weight, gender, and foot size, in that order, and never by handedness or the Graeber Index of Sexual Attractiveness in 7th Grade.


Rule #3: On How "Real" One Should Sound When Posting, and Cases in Which One Should Edit an Existing Post to Comply With Rule#3.

from the French réel, from Latin realis, from res thing.

3a. When meaning to "be real", sounding real is both prudent and necessary.

3ai. "sounding real" does not refer to the actual transmission of soundwaves. speaking aloud while posting is not necessary in any case, and should be regarded as voluntary.

3b. "Get Real!" Derivative exclamation. The order of getting that which is real.

3c. "O rly?" - This phrase shall be used as an expression of doubt or uncertainty that the previous poster knows what the fvck said poster is talking about.


Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting

4a. If you find someone else's formatting, put it back where it belongs.

4b. If you lose your formatting, you shall be infarcted.

4bi. Formatting infarctions shall be inflicted exclusively in French: À la recherche du formatage perdu

4bii. The Easy Way Not To Lose Your Formatting shall be to Quote The Rules In Their Entirety from the previous poster, and remove the unneccesary quote formatting. This shall be the only formatting you may lose without being infarcted.

4c. No mention of being an underwear folder shall be made to any board member who chooses to reformat the formatting scheme according to a more efficient scheme (See Annex A: Efficient formatting algorithms for massive multi-user online applications)

4d. Images Formatting

4di. To line up images horizontally, rather than vertically, do the following:
4dia. open bracket type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4dii. Follow normal image procedure:
4diia. click image icon(<---example), pasting said image link in pop-up window.
4diib. Hit ok.

OR

4diiai. type the following:
4diiaia. open bracket eye em gee close bracket C&P image link.
4diiaib. open bracket forward SLASH! (/ <---example) eye em gee close bracket.

4diii. When group of said images have reach this world’s end or to move on to other procedures close said horizontal line with (If not already there),
4diiia. open bracket forward SLASH! (see example above) type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4div. Your line of code should look like this, without any """"

"
[IMG]"http://www.lookwhaticando.com/me_juggling.jpg"[/IMG]
"
4dv. Hit Preview to make sure all is well.

4dvi. Once satisfied click, Submit.

4dvii. Follow all formatting rules as specified in Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting.
4dviia. You are done. note: during this procedure do not speak French.

4dviii. To begin a new line of images wash, rinse, repeat.

4dix. If you have trouble, ask helpful members to do this procedure for you or show you how.

4dx. If you are still uncertain or just very shy, post said image into its own reply with a message that you desire some assistance. Eventually, someone will move said image to the proper section of, in which rules are set for everything. (see rule 17)

4e. On Format Clashing.

4ei. C&P all current work on to computer word processing document before hitting Submit.

4eii. Click Save or Save As.

4eiii. If you find that some one other than yourself has updated, test before you hit Submit. The following rules apply:

4f. On running out of room.

4fi. Hold your breath.


Rule #5: Of Things That are Stupid, and Rules That Really Aren't Rules As Much As They Are Observations.

5a: Below is a list of things that are stupid. if you think they are funny your are stupid:

- some stupid pic you filched from "rottendotcom"
- The word "Cheezeburger", and any and all derivatives of said word.
- Coming here to pimp your FREE anything.


Rule #6: On Incurring Infarctions and on Incurring Infractions

6a: "if you incur the infraction of a fellow board member you forfeit the right to use the words "random" and "crazy" and your smilies are automatically disabled

6b: "every time you infraction someone who's jib you don't like the cut of, you get to choose a small pet from creature corner"


Rule #7: On Instances of Double-Posting:

7a: Double Posting (alternately referred to as "Pulling a Deuce") shall be regarded as a dangerous rift in the space-time continuum and shall be ignored until the original poster edits the second instance to remove the repeat.


Rule #8: On What To Do if You Have Nothing Nice to Say

8a. brightpearl offers you a cookie and assures you that you can do better

8b. Say something Neutral, or Not Nice.

8c. Attempt to Write a Rule.

8d. Penalties for failure to abide by the above are as follows:

8di: In the Case That The Indiscretion Occurs With a Non-Living Thing w/ Advocate:
- If Advocate is popular; see 8b
- If Advocate is considered a troll by most of board (for "most" see Rule 15:On Consensus); Bash (see Rule 18:On Acceptable Forms of Negativity) away.

8di2: In the event the Non-Living Thing has no Advocate; Bash away.


Rule #9 - On Adding Rules

9a - You must add rules to the rules only half not kiddingly


Rule #10 - On Penalties and Miscellaneous Images

10a - Be stingy with penalties

10b - Creature Corner


Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2007, 09:40 PM   #81
zefrank
-------------
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: brooklyn NY
Posts: 1,581
please finish up the rules - they will be posted at the top of the forumfor all newbies
zefrank is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2007, 10:45 PM   #82
brightpearl
Rhinoceros fan
 
brightpearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
in which rules are set for everything
only half kidding - Parts 1 through 10

Rule Zero: Regadring Typos

0a. Mis-spelings do nto coutn againts yuo.

Rule #1: Regarding the Use of All-Caps.

1a. All-Caps shall be used to signify additional emphasis given to a word. The meaning of said word will remain the same, as will the volume at which the word is spoken if the sentence containing this word is spoken, as one might to a child who, not yet having the ability to read, requested that it be read to them at an hour appropriate to such things.

1b. The emphasis conferred by All Caps will be measured in the following way:

- using that type of scary voice (but not actually singing) like dave grohl of the foo fighters at one of the intense bits in one of bigger hit songs e.g. "the monkey wrench"

- dividing Maximal Emphasis Possible By Any Sentence (MEPBAS) by the number of words in All-Caps, and giving to each its even share.

1bi. On the Paradox of a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:

- a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps (SWEAC), since it divides the MEPBAS by the Maximum All Capped Words (MACaW) creates a ratio of 1:1. This erases any emphasis that each individual All Capped word might have carried, dropping the emphasis level of the entire sentence effectively to nil. Plus Dave Grohl gets laryngitis.

1bii. On the Proper Response to a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:
One should whisper in size 1 Italics.


Rule #2: On collation

2a. Always collate for the convenience of later posters.

2ai Posters breaking Rule #2 shall be subject to the following consequences:
- Offending posts will be winged, but not ducked.
- The poster will receive a single infraction which will count towards their total DMRS score (DMRS score not valid in Hawaii, Wisconsin, or Lower Elbonia. Actual value less than one cent).
- The poster will receive "The Look" from their own mother.

2b. On the preferred method of collating:
People should be collated by height, weight, gender, and foot size, in that order, and never by handedness or the Graeber Index of Sexual Attractiveness in 7th Grade.


Rule #3: On How "Real" One Should Sound When Posting, and Cases in Which One Should Edit an Existing Post to Comply With Rule#3.

from the French réel, from Latin realis, from res thing.

3a. When meaning to "be real", sounding real is both prudent and necessary.

3ai. "sounding real" does not refer to the actual transmission of soundwaves. speaking aloud while posting is not necessary in any case, and should be regarded as voluntary.

3b. "Get Real!" Derivative exclamation. The order of getting that which is real.

3c. "O rly?" - This phrase shall be used as an expression of doubt or uncertainty that the previous poster knows what the fvck said poster is talking about.


Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting

4a. If you find someone else's formatting, put it back where it belongs.

4b. If you lose your formatting, you shall be infarcted.

4bi. Formatting infarctions shall be inflicted exclusively in French: À la recherche du formatage perdu

4bii. The Easy Way Not To Lose Your Formatting shall be to Quote The Rules In Their Entirety from the previous poster, and remove the unneccesary quote formatting. This shall be the only formatting you may lose without being infarcted.

4c. No mention of being an underwear folder shall be made to any board member who chooses to reformat the formatting scheme according to a more efficient scheme (See Annex A: Efficient formatting algorithms for massive multi-user online applications)

4d. Images Formatting

4di. To line up images horizontally, rather than vertically, do the following:
4dia. open bracket type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4dii. Follow normal image procedure:
4diia. click image icon(<---example), pasting said image link in pop-up window.
4diib. Hit ok.

OR

4diiai. type the following:
4diiaia. open bracket eye em gee close bracket C&P image link.
4diiaib. open bracket forward SLASH! (/ <---example) eye em gee close bracket.

4diii. When group of said images have reach this world’s end or to move on to other procedures close said horizontal line with (If not already there),
4diiia. open bracket forward SLASH! (see example above) type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4div. Your line of code should look like this, without any """"

"
[IMG]"http://www.lookwhaticando.com/me_juggling.jpg"[/IMG]
"
4dv. Hit Preview to make sure all is well.

4dvi. Once satisfied click, Submit.

4dvii. Follow all formatting rules as specified in Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting.
4dviia. You are done. note: during this procedure do not speak French.

4dviii. To begin a new line of images wash, rinse, repeat.

4dix. If you have trouble, ask helpful members to do this procedure for you or show you how.

4dx. If you are still uncertain or just very shy, post said image into its own reply with a message that you desire some assistance. Eventually, someone will move said image to the proper section of, in which rules are set for everything. (see rule 17)

4e. On Format Clashing.

4ei. C&P all current work on to computer word processing document before hitting Submit.

4eii. Click Save or Save As.

4eiii. If you find that some one other than yourself has updated, test before you hit Submit. The following rules apply:

4f. On running out of room.

4fi. Hold your breath.


Rule #5: Of Things That are Stupid, and Rules That Really Aren't Rules As Much As They Are Observations.

5a: Below is a list of things that are stupid. if you think they are funny you are stupid:

- some stupid pic you filched from "rottendotcom"
- The word "Cheezeburger", and any and all derivatives of said word.
- Coming here to pimp your FREE anything.
- Coming here to pimp your for a fee anything.


Rule #6: On Incurring Infarctions and on Incurring Infractions

6a: "if you incur the infraction of a fellow board member you forfeit the right to use the words "random" and "crazy" and your smilies are automatically disabled

6b: "every time you infraction someone who's jib you don't like the cut of, you get to choose a small pet from creature corner"


Rule #7: On Instances of Double-Posting:

7a: Double Posting (alternately referred to as "Pulling a Deuce") shall be regarded as a dangerous rift in the space-time continuum and shall be ignored until the original poster edits the second instance to remove the repeat.


Rule #8: On What To Do if You Have Nothing Nice to Say

8a. We offer you a cookie and assure you that you can do better

8b. Say something Neutral, or Not Nice.

8c. Attempt to Write a Rule.

8d. Penalties for failure to abide by the above are as follows:

8di: In the Case That The Indiscretion Occurs With a Non-Living Thing w/ Advocate:
- If Advocate is popular; see 8b
- If Advocate is considered a troll by most of board (for "most" see Rule 15:On Consensus); Bash (see Rule 18:On Acceptable Forms of Negativity) away.

8di2: In the event the Non-Living Thing has no Advocate; Bash away.


Rule #9 - On Adding Rules

9a - You must add rules to the rules only half not kiddingly


Rule #10 - On Penalties and Miscellaneous Images

10a - Be stingy with penalties

10b - Creature Corner


brightpearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2007, 10:50 PM   #83
brightpearl
Rhinoceros fan
 
brightpearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
....just some typo corrections...

Parts 11-20

Rule #11 - On Forgiveness

11a. Be generous with Forgiveness.

11b. Try to understand both sides

11c. If you cannot understand both sides, find your own side, poke it twice and giggle quietly. Poke it three times if you are not that ticklish.

11d. When all else fails, offer freshly baked cookies.


Rule #12 - On Irony and Its Applications in Ways That Are Not Easy To Understand, But Are Apparently Irresistible to "I".

12a. See Rule 33


Rule #13 - On Rules

13a. Rules are more like guidelines: as in "Rules are too stultifying for what we are trying to create here".

13b. The above is a rule, and should not be taken lightly as one might a guideline.

13c. When in doubt, ask. Specific doubt is better than general doubt.

13d. Rules can change.

Rule #14 - Of or Pertaining to Action Phrases

14a. posts intended to indicate a single action must be set between asterisks. (example: *posts new rule*)

14b. multiple actions must be separated into individual action sets, each with an associated asterisk pair. (example: *posts new rule* *comes up with examples*)

14c. actions must be phrased in present tense.

14d. failing to close an action phrase with the second asterisk will result in an interpretation of ongoing action in every subsequent post, regardless of content, until such time as the poster remembers to insert the errant asterisk.


Rule #15 - On Bullying

15.a. Bullying shall be defined as "choosing any individual for ongoing harassment, belittlement and/or abuse, whether or not they deserve it."

15b. Gentle teasing is not bullying. However, if an individual takes exception to what you consider gentle teasing, you must desist, make polite apologies, and feel very silly and embarrassed for a day or two or until your unintended victim tells you you’re off the hook, whichever takes longer.

15c. If you don’t like someone for any reason – say, they don’t speak English too well, you suspect they have Republican tendencies, or they just make you feel icky - you must try putting them on ignore.

15c.1. If you cannot resist peeking at the ignored member's posts once you have put them on ignore, zefrank.com/bulletin will not be held accountable for any anger, disgust, revulsion, nausea, headaches, cramps (including butt puckering), homicidal impulses, psychotic breaks, and other negative reactions you may experience.


Rule 16 - On Getting Too Serious

1. Don't.
2. Know your chicken.


Rule #17 - On Appreciation

17a. Express genuine gratitude.

17b. See Rule #11

17c. Expressions of appreciation must not be used for the purpose of manipulation (or not too much).

17d. Ass Kissing is the Pun of Appreciation.

17di. less it's a cute one. turn around please. (see rule #16)


Rule #18 - On Acceptable Forms of Negativity

18a. Always love your fellow monkeys
18b. Giving someone a swat on the ass is acceptable if needed. This shall also be known as an infarction.
18bi. Perfectly acceptable and encouraged to ask the man whose name is in the url before you give a swat.


Rule #19 - On Love

19a. Always love your dog
19ai. Always love yourself.
19b. You do not have to love your fellow Monkeys, but you do need to treat them with respect.
19bi If you cannot follow Rule 19b, one of the moderators will work it out with you until you can be respectful.
19c. Agreeing to disagree is always acceptable.
19d. Following rule 19a/19ai is highly suggested to be an action of first resort, for even if your dog is a cat or a ficus, this action will make rules 19b - 19c very easy, and may even protect you from public underwear folding or unwanted pets from creature corner.


Rule #20 - On Taking Responsibility For Your Words And Actions

20a. If you are being a jerk and you know it, please just apologize.
20ai. There is no need to justify your actions, in fact, you can't. If you did something wrong, own up to it. Take responsibility & say 'I was wrong and I'm sorry'. Explaining bad behavior away with excuses just makes it seem like you really don't regret your actions.
20b If you are getting messages from several people (let's say 8 or more) that you are being a jerk, assume that you are and see rule 20a. Jerk.[/quote]
brightpearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2007, 11:10 PM   #84
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
in which rules are set for everything
only half kidding - Parts 1 through 10

Rule Zero: Regadring Typos

0a. Mis-spelings do nto coutn againts yuo.
Collorary to Rule 0a: Misspellings do not count against you unless you are playing the Dictionary Game, because it's the Dictionary Game, for crying out loud, and therefore open to the judge's discretion.
0b. Although not expressly forbidden, persistent confusion about the spelling and use of the words "it's" (contraction of the words "it is") and "its" (possessive form) will cause the poster to run the risk of seeming ignorant to literate members of the board, and lives may be tragically lost due to excessive teeth grinding.

Rule #1: Regarding the Use of All-Caps.

1a. All-Caps shall be used to signify additional emphasis given to a word. The meaning of said word will remain the same, as will the volume at which the word is spoken if the sentence containing this word is spoken, as one might to a child who, not yet having the ability to read, requested that it be read to them at an hour appropriate to such things.

1b. The emphasis conferred by All Caps will be measured in the following way:

- using that type of scary voice (but not actually singing) like dave grohl of the foo fighters at one of the intense bits in one of bigger hit songs e.g. "the monkey wrench"

- dividing Maximal Emphasis Possible By Any Sentence (MEPBAS) by the number of words in All-Caps, and giving to each its even share.

1bi. On the Paradox of a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:

- a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps (SWEAC), since it divides the MEPBAS by the Maximum All Capped Words (MACaW) creates a ratio of 1:1. This erases any emphasis that each individual All Capped word might have carried, dropping the emphasis level of the entire sentence effectively to nil. Plus Dave Grohl gets laryngitis.

1bii. On the Proper Response to a Sentence Written Entirely in All Caps:
One should whisper in size 1 Italics.

2. Posters are encouraged to explore other, quieter formatting options for emphasis needs before automatically resorting to the obnoxious shouting that is All Caps.


Rule #2: On collation

2a. Always collate for the convenience of later posters.
Please define "always." As in every post in every thread??? We're assuming context here, but there could be confusion. Folks, this is how accidents happen, lives are lost, tragedy occurs.

2ai Posters breaking Rule #2 shall be subject to the following consequences:
- Offending posts will be winged, but not ducked.
- The poster will receive a single infraction which will count towards their total DMRS score (DMRS score not valid in Hawaii, Wisconsin, or Lower Elbonia. Actual value less than one cent).
- The poster will receive "The Look" from their own mother.

2b. On the preferred method of collating:
People should be collated by height, weight, gender, and foot size, in that order, and never by handedness or the Graeber Index of Sexual Attractiveness in 7th Grade.


Rule #3: On How "Real" One Should Sound When Posting, and Cases in Which One Should Edit an Existing Post to Comply With Rule#3.

from the French réel, from Latin realis, from res thing.

3a. When meaning to "be real", sounding real is both prudent and necessary.

3ai. "sounding real" does not refer to the actual transmission of soundwaves. speaking aloud while posting is not necessary in any case, and should be regarded as voluntary.

3b. "Get Real!" Derivative exclamation. The order of getting that which is real.

3c. "O rly?" - This phrase shall be used as an expression of doubt or uncertainty that the previous poster knows what the fvck said poster is talking about.
4. "Realness" may depend on, but is not limited to the number of dimensions you are writing in.

Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting

4a. If you find someone else's formatting, put it back where it belongs.

4b. If you lose your formatting, you shall be infarcted.

4bi. Formatting infarctions shall be inflicted exclusively in French: À la recherche du formatage perdu

4bii. The Easy Way Not To Lose Your Formatting shall be to Quote The Rules In Their Entirety from the previous poster, and remove the unneccesary quote formatting. This shall be the only formatting you may lose without being infarcted.

4c. No mention of being an underwear folder shall be made to any board member who chooses to reformat the formatting scheme according to a more efficient scheme (See Annex A: Efficient formatting algorithms for massive multi-user online applications)

4d. Images Formatting

4di. To line up images horizontally, rather than vertically, do the following:
4dia. open bracket type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4dii. Follow normal image procedure:
4diia. click image icon(<---example), pasting said image link in pop-up window.
4diib. Hit ok.

OR

4diiai. type the following:
4diiaia. open bracket eye em gee close bracket C&P image link.
4diiaib. open bracket forward SLASH! (/ <---example) eye em gee close bracket.

4diii. When group of said images have reach this world’s end or to move on to other procedures close said horizontal line with (If not already there),
4diiia. open bracket forward SLASH! (see example above) type the letters el e ef and t close bracket.

4div. Your line of code should look like this, without any """"

"
[IMG]"http://www.lookwhaticando.com/me_juggling.jpg"[/IMG]
"
4dv. Hit Preview to make sure all is well.

4dvi. Once satisfied click, Submit.

4dvii. Follow all formatting rules as specified in Rule # 4: On Lost Formatting.
4dviia. You are done. note: during this procedure do not speak French.

4dviii. To begin a new line of images wash, rinse, repeat.

4dix. If you have trouble, ask helpful members to do this procedure for you or show you how.

4dx. If you are still uncertain or just very shy, post said image into its own reply with a message that you desire some assistance. Eventually, someone will move said image to the proper section of, in which rules are set for everything. (see rule 17)

4e. On Format Clashing.

4ei. C&P all current work on to computer word processing document before hitting Submit.

4eii. Click Save or Save As.

4eiii. If you find that some one other than yourself has updated, test before you hit Submit. The following rules apply:

4f. On running out of room.

4fi. Hold your breath.


Rule #5: Of Things That are Stupid, and Rules That Really Aren't Rules As Much As They Are Observations.

5a: Below is a list of things that are stupid. if you think they are funny your are stupid:

- some stupid pic you filched from "rottendotcom"
- The word "Cheezeburger", and any and all derivatives of said word.
- Coming here to pimp your FREE anything.
- any one of those cafepresse T-shirts that chick was hawking in her sig line a while ago.

Rule #6: On Incurring Infarctions and on Incurring Infractions

6a: "if you incur the infraction of a fellow board member you forfeit the right to use the words "random" and "crazy" and your smilies are automatically disabled

6b: "every time you infraction someone who's jib you don't like the cut of, you get to choose a small pet from creature corner"


Rule #7: On Instances of Double-Posting:

7a: Double Posting (alternately referred to as "Pulling a Deuce") shall be regarded as a dangerous rift in the space-time continuum and shall be ignored until the original poster edits the second instance to remove the repeat.


Rule #8: On What To Do if You Have Nothing Nice to Say

8a. brightpearl offers you a cookie and assures you that you can do better

8b. Say something Neutral, or Not Nice.

8c. Attempt to Write a Rule.

8d. Ban Thyself and take a nice bubble bath wherein you ruminate on the most generous viewpoint you can possibly muster while still being true to yourself.

8e. Penalties for failure to abide by the above are as follows:

8ei: In the Case That The Indiscretion Occurs With a Non-Living Thing w/ Advocate:
- If Advocate is popular; see 8b
- If Advocate is considered a troll by most of board (for "most" see Rule 15:On Consensus); Bash (see Rule 18:On Acceptable Forms of Negativity) away.

8eio: In the event the Non-Living Thing has no Advocate; Bash away.


Rule #9 - On Adding Rules

9a - You must add rules to the rules only half not kiddingly


Rule #10 - On Penalties and Miscellaneous Images

10a - Be stingy with penalties

10b - Creature Corner


__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2007, 11:14 PM   #85
brightpearl
Rhinoceros fan
 
brightpearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
Parts 21-43

Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
II. Second Party:
III. Third Party:
Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
22a. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
22ai. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

22b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee

22c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

22d. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

22e. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.

22f. Before the permission to the legendary Hot Asian Chick parties is given, a 36h (minimum!) introductory course must be passed at Mr Johnston's. The office is open for applications on Wednesdays 10.00-12.00 MET. Please do not forget to fill the 10 page form beforehand, Mr. Johnston will thoroughly check them.

Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

23a. It's best to be nice. However, if you have constructive criticism that must be given, consider sending it in a PM rather than airing it on the board. Rules 15-20 apply to private messages every bit as much as public posts. Revisit Rule 19b/bi before you click send.

23b. If you have destructive criticism, send it to yourself.

23c. Sending the same person more than one picture of cute kittens per day is a capital offense.


Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
25a. duties to report the Incident to the board...ie. documentation
25ai. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.

25b. Possibly occurring bad vibes are to be left outside in the cruel, cold, real world
25bii. Any good vibes resulting from a meeting are to be brought here and shared with the community

Rule #26. - On Staleness

26a. How stale is this bread exactly?
26ai. Have you tried toasting the bread?
26aii. If you can drive a decking screw more than 2 inches into a concrete block with the bread, see 26b.

26b. Where threads go to die: The back of the line. Sometimes they are just pining for the fjords and will be gloriously revived if you put 4000 volts through them. Sometimes not.

We all have to learn to let go some time.


Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

27a. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

27b. Repeat offenders have their hats made into asses, which they must wear as a prosthesis, excepting on special board holidays.


Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

28a. Using more than 3 times on a single day will be punished by a week's ban on this smiley. Any further offense in that direction will lead to a month's ban to use any smiley but

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing

29a. In case of repetitive and/or extensive editing add a reason, best in form of a small, witty rhyme to milden your fellow monkeys' annoyance.

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

30a. Good idea for reference purposes, such as when there are several intervening posts or a page break, or when you want to refer only to a specific portion of another's post.

30b. It isn't much use in a game of charades.


Rule #31. - On Lurking

31a. Only logged in board members can hear you lurking.

31b. We don't lurk in your toilet, so please don't pee in our board.

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos

32a. It's fun, isn't it?

32b. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

32c. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
i. - kindergarten graduation footage.
ii. - clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
iii. - country-western music videos recorded after 1996.
iv. - political speeches.
v. - for the sake of anime.
32e. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

32f. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.

Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
Rule #34. - On the Extensive Use of Brackets and Nested Sentences

34a. First time offenders are to post in sentences of 1-5 words for a week. Any use of brackets during this week will extend the penalty period by a further day.

34b. Repeat offenders have to wear the Bob's Big Boy costume.

Rule #35. - On the Development of a Fulsome Plenitude of

Rule #36. - On Being Sideways
-see Rules #5 #8 #11 #15 #20 #21 #27

Rule #37. - On Back Doors

37a. It's still not legal to use them in Texas.

Rule #38. - On Cliques

Rule #39. - On Invisibility

Rule #40. - On Siblings

Rule #41. - On How to Properly Distribute Attention and Huggles

Rule #42. - On Evacuation

42a. plan and emergency

42b. email contact list in case of fire or flood

Rule #43. - On When to Makes Polls

43a. poll the people on all things and everything

43b. always allow at least four options and other[/quote]
brightpearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 12:47 PM   #86
Anna
n
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
Quote:
Originally Posted by zefrank View Post
please finish up the rules - they will be posted at the top of the forumfor all newbies
Snap, Snap People!
No, those aren’t my fingers, them are egg shells.

ze I thought this was a work in progress, you want to rush art? Posting rulez is a cinch, posting only half not kidding rulez takes time. Angles and demons can’t be rushed when it comes to ideas, like any business or bureaucracy there’s interest to be paid for a rush job, if not the body, the soul. However, if you want it done in a timely fashion, I believe more direction/suggestion/reaction from you would hasten the task. I've got a red sharpie if you need one.


anyone know how to get egg out of leather?
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 02:45 PM   #87
rmr
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 10,595
never i mean never bring up the reputation system
rmr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 08:16 PM   #88
Marcus Bales
________________
 
Marcus Bales's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
Rule 44 - on Registration

1. Rules are for newbies.
2. Registration is blocked. There will be no newbies.
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight --
My heart is nearly pure.
Marcus Bales is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 08:38 PM   #89
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
Rule 44 - on Registration

1. Rules are for newbies.
2. Registration is blocked. There will be no newbies.
3. If you go away long enough to forget what your password is, and then years later it comes back to you in a weird kind of inspirational flash and you somehow manage to log in, you automatically become a newbie again with no history whatsoever.
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 08:43 PM   #90
brightpearl
Rhinoceros fan
 
brightpearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
Parts 21-43

Rule #21 - On Sarcasm and its Transparency

21a. There are at least three types of sarcasm: Self-inflicted, second party; usually directed to whom you are speaking, and absent third party.

21ai. Examples:
I. Self-inflicted:
Always acceptable. But don't be too hard on yourself.
II. Second Party:
Acceptable when both parties find it so.
III. Third Party:
Public figures are fair game, but this type of sarcasm should be used judiciously and with respect for the feelings of other members.

Rule #22. - On Coming of Age Rituals
22a. Virtual drug and alcohol use:
22ai. Slug licking is not permitted by those under 16, unless it is just a regular, non-hallucinogenic slug. Parental permission form 27-3 must be submitted in triplicate 4-6 months before proposed post.

22b.Psychoactive/hallucinogenic toads require proof of age 18 or a 212-page book report on Oil and Gas: Federal Income Taxation, by Patrick Hennessee

22c. Alchohol, of course, requires the poster to be 21, or previously winning the dictionary thread

22d. Minors may not visit virtual brothels except as research for the above book report.

22e. Virtual circumcision rituals are strongly discouraged.

22f. Before the permission to the legendary Hot Asian Chick parties is given, a 36h (minimum!) introductory course must be passed at Mr Johnston's. The office is open for applications on Wednesdays 10.00-12.00 MET. Please do not forget to fill the 10 page form beforehand, Mr. Johnston will thoroughly check them.

Rule #23. - On Private Messaging

23a. It's best to be nice. However, if you have constructive criticism that must be given, consider sending it in a PM rather than airing it on the board. Rules 15-20 apply to private messages every bit as much as public posts. Revisit Rule 19b/bi before you click send.

23b. If you have destructive criticism, send it to yourself.

23c. Sending the same person more than one picture of cute kittens per day is a capital offense.


Rule #24. - On Choosing a User Name

24a. palindromes are permitted

24b. Variations on zefrank are not clever and are not permitted after July 29, 2007

Rule #25. - On Meeting in Real Life Protocol
25a. duties to report the Incident to the board...ie. documentation
25ai. Sperm samples are entirely unnecessary, except in the case of paternity suits.

25b. Possibly occurring bad vibes are to be left outside in the cruel, cold, real world
25bii. Any good vibes resulting from a meeting are to be brought here and shared with the community

Rule #26. - On Staleness

26a. How stale is this bread exactly?
26ai. Have you tried toasting the bread?
26aii. If you can drive a decking screw more than 2 inches into a concrete block with the bread, see 26b.

26b. Where threads go to die: The back of the line. Sometimes they are just pining for the fjords and will be gloriously revived if you put 4000 volts through them. Sometimes not.

We all have to learn to let go some time.


Rule #27. - On Incorrigible Asshattery of All Kinds

27a. Offenders have their asses made into hats, to be worn by the moderators on special board holidays.

27b. Repeat offenders have their hats made into asses, which they must wear as a prosthesis, excepting on special board holidays.


Rule #28. - On Smilies and Their Ability to Cause Seizures En Masse

28a. Using more than 3 times on a single day will be punished by a week's ban on this smiley. Any further offense in that direction will lead to a month's ban to use any smiley but

Rule #29. - On Deletions and Post-Post Editing of One's Own Writing

29a. In case of repetitive and/or extensive editing add a reason, best in form of a small, witty rhyme to milden your fellow monkeys' annoyance.

Rule #30. - On Quoting Others' Writing and the Purposes Thereof

30a. Good idea for reference purposes, such as when there are several intervening posts or a page break, or when you want to refer only to a specific portion of another's post.

30b. It isn't much use in a game of charades.


Rule #31. - On Lurking

31a. Only logged in board members can hear you lurking.

31b. We don't lurk in your toilet, so please don't pee in our board.

Rule #32. - On Embedding Videos

32a. It's fun, isn't it?

32b. Please label not safe for work videos as "nsfw".

32c. The following types of videos are expressly forbidden:
i. - kindergarten graduation footage.
ii. - clips that mention "self-esteem", "you-ness", or "actualization" more than 37 times.
iii. - country-western music videos recorded after 1996.
iv. - political speeches.
v. - for the sake of anime.
32e. Parodies of the above are expressly encouraged.

32f. In the case of unembeddables, mild flirting remains permissable.

Rule #33. - On Vacations That Fall During Rulemaking Periods
1. If at all possible, stay connected the entire vacation so that you won't miss anything. If you miss anything, you will be ridiculed, ignored, and banned, in that order, with reckless abandon and extreme prejudice.
2. You must post by subjecting your laptop to the wireless network at the place you are staying. You will lose passwords to all your bank accounts, brokerage services, personal message boards, and dead-head spam computers you currently can access.
3. Rebuilding your life afterward may require creating a new identity or stealing someone else's. If this happens, do NOT create a bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialShadowPuppet® unless they have also exploited your original bulletin.ZeFrank.com™ StrictlyCommercialUserAccount®
Rule #34. - On the Extensive Use of Brackets and Nested Sentences

34a. First time offenders are to post in sentences of 1-5 words for a week. Any use of brackets during this week will extend the penalty period by a further day.

34b. Repeat offenders have to wear the Bob's Big Boy costume.

Rule #35. - On the Development of a Fulsome Plenitude of

Rule #36. - On Being Sideways
-see Rules #5 #8 #11 #15 #20 #21 #27

Rule #37. - On Back Doors

37a. It's still not legal to use them in Texas.

Rule #38. - On Cliques

Rule #39. - On Invisibility

Rule #40. - On Siblings

Rule #41. - On How to Properly Distribute Attention and Huggles

Rule #42. - On Evacuation

42a. plan and emergency

42b. email contact list in case of fire or flood

Rule #43. - On When to Makes Polls

43a. poll the people on all things and everything

43b. always allow at least four options and other

Rule 44 - on Registration

1. Rules are for newbies.
2. Registration is blocked. There will be no newbies.
3. If you go away long enough to forget what your password is, and then years later it comes back to you in a weird kind of inspirational flash and you somehow manage to log in, you automatically become a newbie again with no history whatsoever.
4. Aren't we all newbies, really, forever and ever? Discuss.
5. Registration may be reopened whenever the time is ripe.
brightpearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 07:53 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.