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Old 04-21-2008, 11:03 AM   #1
zero
 
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★ our subtle torments in hell ★

in hell, our sock elasticity is eternally untaut. every 30 paces we are compelled to take our shoes off to resolve the aggressively bunched mess under our feet.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:41 AM   #2
lukkucairi
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in hell, our eyelashes are constantly falling out and dropping into our eyes.
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:00 PM   #3
Frieda
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in hell, we set our hair on fire and scorch our fingernails every single time we're cooking. and just as it grows back, it happens again.
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zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf

oh yeah
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:07 PM   #4
Marcus Bales
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Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
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In hell we're frying bacon naked.
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:22 PM   #5
YsaPur EsChomuw
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In hell there's constant gnashing of teeth because various pieces of food (e.g. from fried bacon rind) get stuck between them and refuse to come unstuck. People gnash their theeth until they are all worn down and hurt. Oh, and there's no dentist to fix them. (Busy doing some fixing in heaven)
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Old 04-21-2008, 01:54 PM   #6
Marcus Bales
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Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
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In hell every negotiated and final contract must be submitted to Legal for approval.
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My heart is nearly pure.
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Old 04-21-2008, 02:10 PM   #7
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daily, we are taken to play with puppies and kittens. but they are ugly and lethargic ones, and have coarse fur and surly dispositions.
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Old 04-21-2008, 02:11 PM   #8
Coffee
Cheeses Save
 
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In hell public servants are elected based on their character and looks, rather than their knowledge of refrigeration.
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Old 04-21-2008, 02:19 PM   #9
Stephi_B
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In hell tea water never gets hot enough due to a strange thermodynamical phenomenon.
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Old 04-21-2008, 04:57 PM   #10
l'azizza
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In hell, the only toilet paper that's ever available is the very last square on the roll.
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Old 04-21-2008, 07:16 PM   #11
brightpearl
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In hell, our only mental muzak is the soundtrack from "Baby Einstein: Baby's First Moves."
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Old 04-21-2008, 07:17 PM   #12
brightpearl
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...and all the toothpaste is labeled "fresh green tea vanilla flavor!" but it really tastes vaguely of carboard airfreshener and chalk.
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Old 04-22-2008, 12:13 AM   #13
trisherina
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In Hell, all you get to read is poetry written by angsty 14 year olds with poor spelling.
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Old 04-22-2008, 03:13 AM   #14
brightpearl
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All the bananas in hell are just slightly overripe, and every bowl of cereal has precisely one bit that looks as though it could be a piece of insect wing. We're never sure.
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Old 04-22-2008, 04:18 AM   #15
Anna
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in hell, you’re not allowed to save or back up
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