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Old 05-10-2005, 11:35 PM   #1
Max Headroom
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Crackpot Theories

I believe that if I drive my car faster, I will actually be saving gas because my car will be running less time while I travel. By doing this I am actually helping the environment.
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Old 05-11-2005, 02:12 AM   #2
joppa.gal
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I believe if I eat half a gallon of ice cream at two in the morning when I am half asleep then it is less calories than a small bowl after dinner.

It doesn't have to make sense. Who says theories make sense? I just do it. And hope I won't get the 'jigglies' around the butt.
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Old 05-11-2005, 04:11 AM   #3
trisherina
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If you make a squinchy face when opening a container, it will help a lot.
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Old 05-11-2005, 05:28 AM   #4
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If I wear a new outfit on each time I fly, the plane won't crash
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Old 05-11-2005, 05:42 AM   #5
NimbleMarmoset
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trisherina
If you make a squinchy face when opening a container, it will help a lot.

this is no crackpot theory. . . this truly works.
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Old 05-11-2005, 07:17 AM   #6
madasacutsnake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joppa.gal
I believe if I eat half a gallon of ice cream at two in the morning when I am half asleep then it is less calories than a small bowl after dinner.

It doesn't have to make sense. Who says theories make sense? I just do it. And hope I won't get the 'jigglies' around the butt.
If you wonder about some-one on an internet message board they will magically appear.

eta has the wedding happened yet?
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He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.
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Old 05-11-2005, 07:19 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bentoboo
If I wear a new outfit on each time I fly, the plane won't crash
Sorry to disappoint you, but your outfit has no bearing on airline safety. According to a good friend of mine, the way to keep a plane from crashing is to place both feet flat on the floor during take-off and landing while looking straight ahead (no reading allowed!), and not adjusting the time on your wristwatch until you reach your destination. (You can do this wearing any old thing.)
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Old 05-11-2005, 07:40 AM   #8
Hyakujo's Fox
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... and don't under any circumstance eat the airline issue omelette. It won't stop the plane from crashing, but at least you won't go down thinking "I can't believe that crap was the last thing I ever ate".
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Old 05-11-2005, 07:49 AM   #9
madasacutsnake
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And there was me thinking that if I let go of the armrests, the wings would fall off.
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Old 05-11-2005, 08:07 AM   #10
Hyakujo's Fox
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madasacutsnake
And there was me thinking that if I let go of the armrests, the wings would fall off.
That's only those cheap asian airlines.
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Old 05-11-2005, 08:36 AM   #11
craig johnston
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if you start flushing the loo halfway through peeing it saves time.
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Old 05-11-2005, 12:37 PM   #12
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I'm sorry I can't contribute to this thread because all my theories about life are based on solid, incontrovertible fact. For example, if you point out flaws in someone else's argument, whether online or face to face, that person will thank you and be the better for it.
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Old 05-11-2005, 12:39 PM   #13
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If you flush before you start to pee, nobody can hear you pee so nobody knows what you're doing.
(I had a buddy in college who believed this...)
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Old 05-11-2005, 12:52 PM   #14
Clytie
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If i blow kisses when i run a yellow light it wont turn red as fast.
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Old 05-11-2005, 02:37 PM   #15
Max Headroom
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If you can't find a parking place, thnk about somthing pink. A spot should apear shortly after.
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