the paranoid thread - Page 14 - ZEFRANK.COM

Perkina · 03-03-2004, 10:24 PM

ok uncle moN, i will!

does mr. cavie... mr. cavilz.. mr. cavisy..

....does jim know god?

masterofNone · 03-03-2004, 10:33 PM

ahh, little 'kina, god hates jim because jim played the part of his son in a movie. he struck jim with lightening twice during the filming of the movie and jim was too stupid to take the hint.

Perkina · 03-03-2004, 11:06 PM

so, uncle moN, god has a temper? like me or you or daddy? is he vain?

priceyfatprude · 03-03-2004, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Perkina
ok uncle moN, i will! does mr. cavie... mr. cavilz.. mr. cavisy.. ....does jim know god?

It rhymes w/"the weasel", my boo.

Ca-Vee-Zull.

Coffee · 03-04-2004, 12:06 AM

omg...Ca Vee Zull is the name of the latest Tyrant of Mars. John Carter is there now trying to organize a resistance cell to defeat him and his minions...but the going is tough. Ca Vee Zull has the backing of the Bush administration and their Advertizing...I mean Inteligence department.

Do you suppose this Caviezel character is a front man for the Martian Underground Dynasty?

I thought this whole paranoid thread was just lame silliness till I saw this report about Ca Vee Zull. Now I am very worried.

Klynne · 03-04-2004, 01:07 AM

Someone keeps hiding my car keys. I think it must be the elves that live under my bed. Why do they torment me so?????

priceyfatprude · 03-04-2004, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Klynne
I think it must be the elves that live under my bed.

It's the underpants gnomes.

Klynne · 03-04-2004, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
It's the underpants gnomes.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!! I AM MISSING SEVERAL PAIRS OF PANTIES AS WELL!!!! OMG, OMG, IS THIS A CONSPIRACY? MUST GO FIND THE CALM DOWN THREAD!!!!

Aphrodite · 03-04-2004, 01:29 AM

I bet they are the ones who've been stealing all of my left socks.

masterofNone · 03-04-2004, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Perkina
so, uncle moN, god has a temper? like me or you or daddy? is he vain?

moN is never angry. ask aunt peg. moN is ever the picture of aplomb. god on the other hand is a very very angry diety who holds a grudge. so never touch yourself. ever.

Magpie · 03-04-2004, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aphrodite
I bet they are the ones who've been stealing all of my left socks.

Good news! There is a solution to this problem:

http://www.throx.com

Coffee · 03-04-2004, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magpie
Good news! There is a solution to this problem:

Tube socks confuse the little buggers...they don't know which sock to steal...and if they steal two socks you are even.
Tube socks...invented to foil gnomes.

Magpie · 03-04-2004, 05:04 AM

Perky... You description of the rouge nose pea has me deeply concerned. Might I can share an experience that may bring you some relief? ... You see at the age of 2 yrs, my curious son was enjoying some peas in his high chair. It wasn't long before I noticed that all his peas were 'gone' and that he was wiggling his nose in a Bewitched sort O' way. Turns out my little man had discovered that the circumference of peas, very precisely complimented entry into not just one, both both of his nostrils - creating a handy storage facility that he was quite proud of (as I'm sure he will be knowing I'm sharing this with you). During the following 24 month period, he also discovered various other storage sites on his body but that's for another time...

In the famous words of someone, "What goes in does not always as easily come out". After much debate and many commands from Mommy ("do NOT suck in!"), my son discovered that he could shoot (and shoot they did) the peas one by one into his cuppy with much precision - also something he was quite proud of.

With proper supervision, you might attempt this Perky - although I believe for it to work properly you must also be seated in your high chair. Should you find that you are adept in this skill and more importantly, you enjoy it - you might look into local competitions in your area. Everyone can always benefit from a new hobby!

A word of caution: I would highly warn you NOT to attempt this activity with chick peas, haggis, nor that disgusting baby-food type canned variety of "mushy peas" that those of you in the U.K. seem to enjoy so eating and combining with other foods in a completely inappropriate manner (please feel free to explain this phenomenon at a later date).

Happy Nose Pea Shooting to you Sir!
Oh, and here's a handy printable Nose Pea Chart - wouldn't want to grab the wrong can!

Perky Pat · 03-04-2004, 08:30 AM

you're one of The Grocer's people mags aren't you? or worse-still you're a grocer yourself. admit it.

i knew it. god help us. this is just the start. . .

Magpie · 03-04-2004, 09:32 AM

You really need to get a grip on this paranoia Perky! Don't you know how important for your health and nutrition to feel good about food AND your grocer? To think I have anything to do with your grocery store or the twisted way you are thinking these days is just pure nonsense!

03-03-2004, 10:24 PM	#196
Perkina wagahai Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: somewhere between london and toronto Posts: 212	ok uncle moN, i will! does mr. cavie... mr. cavilz.. mr. cavisy.. ....does jim know god? __________________ bastard child

03-03-2004, 11:06 PM	#198
Perkina wagahai Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: somewhere between london and toronto Posts: 212	so, uncle moN, god has a temper? like me or you or daddy? is he vain? __________________ bastard child

03-04-2004, 01:29 AM	#204
Aphrodite Myth Demeanour Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: My tent Posts: 3,041	I bet they are the ones who've been stealing all of my left socks. __________________ Monkey on the Halfshell

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03-03-2004, 10:33 PM	#197
masterofNone ________ Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,131	ahh, little 'kina, god hates jim because jim played the part of his son in a movie. he struck jim with lightening twice during the filming of the movie and jim was too stupid to take the hint.

03-04-2004, 12:06 AM	#200
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	omg...Ca Vee Zull is the name of the latest Tyrant of Mars. John Carter is there now trying to organize a resistance cell to defeat him and his minions...but the going is tough. Ca Vee Zull has the backing of the Bush administration and their Advertizing...I mean Inteligence department. Do you suppose this Caviezel character is a front man for the Martian Underground Dynasty? I thought this whole paranoid thread was just lame silliness till I saw this report about Ca Vee Zull. Now I am very worried.

03-04-2004, 01:07 AM	#201
Klynne monkey Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 4,543	Someone keeps hiding my car keys. I think it must be the elves that live under my bed. Why do they torment me so?????

03-04-2004, 05:04 AM	#208
Magpie Wishing on a pickle. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: One mile up Posts: 3,082	Perky... You description of the rouge nose pea has me deeply concerned. Might I can share an experience that may bring you some relief? ... You see at the age of 2 yrs, my curious son was enjoying some peas in his high chair. It wasn't long before I noticed that all his peas were 'gone' and that he was wiggling his nose in a Bewitched sort O' way. Turns out my little man had discovered that the circumference of peas, very precisely complimented entry into not just one, both both of his nostrils - creating a handy storage facility that he was quite proud of (as I'm sure he will be knowing I'm sharing this with you). During the following 24 month period, he also discovered various other storage sites on his body but that's for another time... In the famous words of someone, "What goes in does not always as easily come out". After much debate and many commands from Mommy ("do NOT suck in!"), my son discovered that he could shoot (and shoot they did) the peas one by one into his cuppy with much precision - also something he was quite proud of. With proper supervision, you might attempt this Perky - although I believe for it to work properly you must also be seated in your high chair. Should you find that you are adept in this skill and more importantly, you enjoy it - you might look into local competitions in your area. Everyone can always benefit from a new hobby! A word of caution: I would highly warn you NOT to attempt this activity with chick peas, haggis, nor that disgusting baby-food type canned variety of "mushy peas" that those of you in the U.K. seem to enjoy so eating and combining with other foods in a completely inappropriate manner (please feel free to explain this phenomenon at a later date). Happy Nose Pea Shooting to you Sir! Oh, and here's a handy printable Nose Pea Chart - wouldn't want to grab the wrong can!

03-04-2004, 08:30 AM	#209
Perky Pat burning bright Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: molotov Posts: 2,963	you're one of The Grocer's people mags aren't you? or worse-still you're a grocer yourself. admit it. i knew it. god help us. this is just the start. . .

03-04-2004, 09:32 AM	#210
Magpie Wishing on a pickle. Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: One mile up Posts: 3,082	You really need to get a grip on this paranoia Perky! Don't you know how important for your health and nutrition to feel good about food AND your grocer? To think I have anything to do with your grocery store or the twisted way you are thinking these days is just pure nonsense!