Just call me the little Van Gogh that I was.

[beckstra]

Favorite me baby story of all time.

I was finally old enough to stand with some help in my crib. One morning before mom and dad woke up, I decided to get a little creative with my diaper's contents.

Turns out I painted my walls, my crib, and myself (as much as could be reached) in brown.

Mom got so sick that dad had to clean down the entire place by himself. I know simply from that story alone, that I'm destined for artistic greatness.

Mwahahahaha...oh.

[red]

That is too funny. I would just hosed you down in a wading pool or something.

[lapietra]

I think I vaguely remember doing something like that.... I think it was in the tub tho'. Easier to clean.. sort of.

[clairus99]

Well I have always been the creative sort myself, more in writing than in the gilbert and george vein of "art".

When I was 2, my dad left me sitting in my pram outside the bank, and came out to hear me singing what was probably my first song. "F**ky b*****d, F**ky b*****d, F**ky b*****d...."

[beckstra]

Pahahahaha!!! Oh man. My dad would have been traumatized.

[zenbabe]

My very first word was SH*T, and I guess I wouldn't stop saying it at a dinner party my parents were having.

[Eruantale]

Oh dear, my little brother used to do that in the loo, beckstra

Let's see, baby stories... oh, hehe, well, I was a very odd baby. When I had got old enough to be able to stand by myself, I'd wake up at night and instead of crying like all normal babies, I'd just sort of stand there, staring at my sleeping parents. My dad was sleeping closest to the crib, I suppose, because my mum still laughs at how he insisted they change sides, because I was frightening him like that every night. Imagine waking up with someone silently staring at you like that... quite creepy, mind

[Isla]

It must be a common trait of exceptionally gifted children.

I remember doing that when I was about 18 months old... my earliest memory is of painting a portrait of Fred Flinstone on a textured wall in my big brother's bedroom.

Fast forward to my middle child's toddlerhood...

From the age of about 18 months to 2 years, she did this ALMOST DAILY. As they say, paybacks are hell. My husband nearly had to have me institutionalized because of it. The child would hold her BM until she knew I could not stop her (and sometimes that would mean 3AM sessions) and then cover her room with her fragrant artwork. I thought perhaps she might be autistic and had her screened for developmental problems... but she's not. She is remarkably artistic though.

<---mother of Poopsie Kahlo

[Isla]

While I'm here, I may as well tell you what my adorable 3 year old son did the other day.

He was very intently playing his Nintendo 64... in a variation of yoga 'child's pose'. Being very much a chip of the old block, he is already quite the master of videogames.

I was working at the computer, trying to beat a deadline for some of the freelance work I do.

He approached me with a near hysterical look on his face and said,

"Mommy! Throw this away!" and then he handed me a turd.

Apparently, he had been so engrossed in his game that he hadn't noticed that it was emerging from his bottom, and when he realized it, it was too late.

I think what amazed me the most was that, when he handed me the caca, I unquestioningly accepted it. For the rest of the day, I ribbed him by saying,

"You gave me your POOP!" until he finally started telling me to shut up about it.

Oh yeah...

There is also the 'Smell My Finger' incident perpetrated by my middle child.

One day, when she was about 3 years old, she came up to me and said, "Smell my finger!"

By now you have guessed that I am a very obedient mom.

I nearly fell out of my kitchen chair because her finger smelled like her butt. She thought this was HILARIOUS.

I called my husband at work and told him about our little jester's new trick... which was lucky for him because when he got home, she tried to sucker him into it.

No one ever tells you about this stuff before you become a parent.

[beckstra]

Hahaha! I've heard of the "pull my finger" routine, but never the "smell my finger" routine.

[yodeling_booyah]

Yes, I have heard of the "Nintendo Syndrome". Where the child forgets their bowel and bladder exists and plays the day away. I saw an article on it one time, and just tried to look it up on Google, but every time I did a search on "nintendo urinate" or "nintendo defecate" there turned up games where urinating and defecating were weapons.