avoiding - ZEFRANK.COM

lapietra · 04-30-2003, 01:32 PM

My personal theme for the next two weeks: What am I avoiding that keeps me stuck in my current flight pattern?

... hovering over my life, wanting to land and walk the path I need to walk to get to where it is I need to go...

the path to my career... the path to greater intimacy ... the path to financial stability... the path to satisfied...

I keep looking outside myself for the path... but it's in me, if I'm courageous enough to face what it is I'm avoiding...

That which we resist persists.

What are you avoiding? Why?

chuckie egg · 04-30-2003, 01:38 PM

I am avoiding paying off my debt, tidying up room, giving away damn huge paintings, job hunting, moving out, shopping for boring things, and telling people what I really think.

Why? I dont know!!!!!

Frieda · 04-30-2003, 02:29 PM

xenophobia..

Zyle · 04-30-2003, 03:30 PM

I'm avoiding revision. Quite successfully too.

catbelly · 04-30-2003, 07:56 PM

What an interesting thread! I have been feeling like you, Lala, for years and years. I usually think of myself as *lost*, though, rather than avoiding - so the idea that I'm avoiding really makes me step back and think about it from a new perspective.

What could I be avoiding... In the past, I've avoided failure by not trying very hard to succeed (i.e. I could still feel good about myself after a failure, because I could say, well, I didn't try that hard). I think that I am still prone to that mentality, although I am improving. I also think that I am afraid of being judged - maybe that is the root of the issue, that deep down I feel I'm not good enough?

I think of these things as a family of demons... "not good enough" is the grand-dame, "fear of being judged" is the sadistic son, "fear of failure" is the ugly stepsister.

Ze was writing in his journal about being naked to the world, and honestly I have to say I would be afraid to expose myself that way. My hubby and I are helping a friend to have her first art show (she's a photographer) at his studio and she is terrified of it - but she is going to do it.

I think that sometimes I have to take a chance to be happy - there's a risk - and I don't always take it. I am avoiding the disappointment, I think, and shorting myself.

amanda · 05-03-2003, 02:05 AM

<----avoiding using words that could potentially harm
but realizing jainism can never truly be practiced in a world that seems dependent on causing suffering, somewhere.

<----avoiding spending time here
but realizing I just need to balance the outer world and myself.

<----avoiding spending money
but realizing that eggs and rice is not very tasty all the time.

<---was avoiding fear, darkness and pain
but realized that its not the way it has to be. it's only when I allow it to. If I don't know them, they won't know me.

good thread, lala.

TinaBina · 05-15-2003, 12:21 PM

I am avoiding finishing a reunion cd - (been 2.5 years)
I am afraid that it will suck. I am afraid that my technical skills will make it suck.

I am avoiding sending back my wedding proofs. (been 3 years)
I feel silly for having waited so long. It is only getting worse.

I am avoiding getting the lil spot on my arm checked - although I know better.

I am avoiding cleaning out our old car of the countless items of junk in the trunk.
Because I feel bad about having left so much crap in there.

I am avoiding work right now because I am tired, and would rather make public, my tendencies to avoid things, hoping, thinking that it will make me feel better about the things I am avoiding.

Kinda a catch-22. Kinda ludicrous.

red · 05-15-2003, 05:15 PM

Heh! It's nice to see I'm not the only one avoiding sending off 3 year-old wedding proofs!

red · 05-15-2003, 05:17 PM

I try not to avoid much…what am I saying, I'm a big procrastinator. Maybe I just want to feel the pressure of life…yeah, that's it…the pressure of life.

ethny · 05-30-2003, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lapietra
... hovering over my life, wanting to land and walk the path I need to walk to get to where it is I need to go...

I'm curious why you say you NEED to walk, you NEED to go.

for what reason do you NEED to do this?

Quote:

the path to my career... the path to greater intimacy ... the path to financial stability... the path to satisfied...

so you have a quest for external success and gratification...

Quote:

I keep looking outside myself for the path... but it's in me, if I'm courageous enough to face what it is I'm avoiding...

possibly you're avoiding reaching these external accomplishments because you know they won't insure you true happiness?

beckstra · 06-05-2003, 12:36 AM

His name is Bryson, and I've found myself with butterflies for the first time in over a year. So how do I deal with this? I avoid him. And when I say I avoid him, I mean I stop at his place of work two or three times a week, see him, smile, and try to avoid getting into conversations where I think I could even let the fact of the matter slip.

Bryson has been my friend for just under a year, and the entire time I've been fighting the feelings I have for him. Last week, I gave up fighting myself. I'm utterly dumbfounded over him. So how do I deal? I avoid talking to him, because it's the only way I can maintain our friendship.

Guh.

dickieC · 06-08-2003, 05:22 PM

I am avoiding submitting my thesis to the publishers again. I'm scared of it getting rejected a second time.......

dickieC · 06-08-2003, 05:22 PM

..... but I am not avoiding phoning Canandian lass, it's just that she's had her phone turned off all afternoon....

noxxville · 06-10-2003, 01:31 AM

I avoid everything. I avoid it like the plague. I am a true hermit in training. One day, I'll leave a forwarding address of:

Lean-to next to half burnt pine tree
XXXXXX National Frest, USA

Mostly I avoid avoidance. Which is a difficult thing to avoid.

Zyle · 06-14-2003, 09:30 AM

a certain guy

04-30-2003, 01:32 PM	#1
lapietra half baked Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: just ducky Posts: 12,078	avoiding My personal theme for the next two weeks: What am I avoiding that keeps me stuck in my current flight pattern? ... hovering over my life, wanting to land and walk the path I need to walk to get to where it is I need to go... the path to my career... the path to greater intimacy ... the path to financial stability... the path to satisfied... I keep looking outside myself for the path... but it's in me, if I'm courageous enough to face what it is I'm avoiding... That which we resist persists. What are you avoiding? Why? __________________ “As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.” ~ Mel Brooks

04-30-2003, 02:29 PM	#3
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	xenophobia.. __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

04-30-2003, 03:30 PM	#4
Zyle No Longer In Hiding Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,586	I'm avoiding revision. Quite successfully too. __________________ Zyle's Blog. I knit now!

05-15-2003, 05:15 PM	#8
red elite rabble Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 4,147	Heh! It's nice to see I'm not the only one avoiding sending off 3 year-old wedding proofs! __________________ Just because you keep talking doesn't mean you are communicating

05-15-2003, 05:17 PM	#9
red elite rabble Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 4,147	I try not to avoid much…what am I saying, I'm a big procrastinator. Maybe I just want to feel the pressure of life…yeah, that's it…the pressure of life. __________________ Just because you keep talking doesn't mean you are communicating

04-30-2003, 01:38 PM	#2
chuckie egg a peach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 4,627	I am avoiding paying off my debt, tidying up room, giving away damn huge paintings, job hunting, moving out, shopping for boring things, and telling people what I really think. Why? I dont know!!!!!

04-30-2003, 07:56 PM	#5
catbelly monkey Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the north Posts: 1,757	What an interesting thread! I have been feeling like you, Lala, for years and years. I usually think of myself as lost, though, rather than avoiding - so the idea that I'm avoiding really makes me step back and think about it from a new perspective. What could I be avoiding... In the past, I've avoided failure by not trying very hard to succeed (i.e. I could still feel good about myself after a failure, because I could say, well, I didn't try that hard). I think that I am still prone to that mentality, although I am improving. I also think that I am afraid of being judged - maybe that is the root of the issue, that deep down I feel I'm not good enough? I think of these things as a family of demons... "not good enough" is the grand-dame, "fear of being judged" is the sadistic son, "fear of failure" is the ugly stepsister. Ze was writing in his journal about being naked to the world, and honestly I have to say I would be afraid to expose myself that way. My hubby and I are helping a friend to have her first art show (she's a photographer) at his studio and she is terrified of it - but she is going to do it. I think that sometimes I have to take a chance to be happy - there's a risk - and I don't always take it. I am avoiding the disappointment, I think, and shorting myself.

05-03-2003, 02:05 AM	#6
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	<----avoiding using words that could potentially harm but realizing jainism can never truly be practiced in a world that seems dependent on causing suffering, somewhere. <----avoiding spending time here but realizing I just need to balance the outer world and myself. <----avoiding spending money but realizing that eggs and rice is not very tasty all the time. <---was avoiding fear, darkness and pain but realized that its not the way it has to be. it's only when I allow it to. If I don't know them, they won't know me. good thread, lala.

05-15-2003, 12:21 PM	#7
TinaBina Mooooooooo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Over here! Posts: 355	I am avoiding finishing a reunion cd - (been 2.5 years) I am afraid that it will suck. I am afraid that my technical skills will make it suck. I am avoiding sending back my wedding proofs. (been 3 years) I feel silly for having waited so long. It is only getting worse. I am avoiding getting the lil spot on my arm checked - although I know better. I am avoiding cleaning out our old car of the countless items of junk in the trunk. Because I feel bad about having left so much crap in there. I am avoiding work right now because I am tired, and would rather make public, my tendencies to avoid things, hoping, thinking that it will make me feel better about the things I am avoiding. Kinda a catch-22. Kinda ludicrous.

06-05-2003, 12:36 AM	#11
beckstra one classy broad Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Cornhusker State Posts: 1,229	His name is Bryson, and I've found myself with butterflies for the first time in over a year. So how do I deal with this? I avoid him. And when I say I avoid him, I mean I stop at his place of work two or three times a week, see him, smile, and try to avoid getting into conversations where I think I could even let the fact of the matter slip. Bryson has been my friend for just under a year, and the entire time I've been fighting the feelings I have for him. Last week, I gave up fighting myself. I'm utterly dumbfounded over him. So how do I deal? I avoid talking to him, because it's the only way I can maintain our friendship. Guh. __________________ I'd rather be making out.

06-08-2003, 05:22 PM	#12
dickieC Professional ZeMonkey Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back in Oxford Posts: 1,841	I am avoiding submitting my thesis to the publishers again. I'm scared of it getting rejected a second time....... __________________ "Why do I keep falling in love with every woman who shows me the slightest attention?" Joel, ESSM

06-10-2003, 01:31 AM	#14
noxxville Disco Maven Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: NC...seriously....how did that happen? Posts: 2,024	I avoid everything. I avoid it like the plague. I am a true hermit in training. One day, I'll leave a forwarding address of: Lean-to next to half burnt pine tree XXXXXX National Frest, USA Mostly I avoid avoidance. Which is a difficult thing to avoid. __________________ Call that guy butter because he's on a roll!

06-14-2003, 09:30 AM	#15
Zyle No Longer In Hiding Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,586	a certain guy __________________ Zyle's Blog. I knit now!

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