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Old 05-13-2004, 05:57 AM   #1
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here's a real humdinger for you.

im at work last night, minding my own business walking up a hallway on my way to our locker room. i stop, get myself a glass of water before working out and as im walking back into the room this girl meets me half way in the hall and we both go to open the same door at the same time.

i step back, open the door and in a bit of a chuckle while holding my water - i say "go ahead", and smile. i just came off a good shift, so i was in the mood to be friendly (rare).

she says "nono, go ahead, your hands are full."

i say - with a bit of a smile and a laugh, "haha.. no, go ahead, you're hot.. i think thats some sort of rule, hot girls always go first."

she awkwardly smiled - and off she went. i didnt see her the rest of the night.

i go into work today, sign out my gun and equipment and come around the corner to my mailbox, where i see a pink slip to meet with my supervisor.

turns out she lodged a sexual harassment claim against me - i have officially recieved a verbal and written warning, that i had to sign along with my supervisor as a witness - and if it happens again ever in my career i am terminated with a legal paper attached to my resume anywhere i apply afterwards.

i have never seen this girl in my life, she works days - i work nights. i dont even know her name. but if i ever see her again outside of work, my foot may slip off my brake pedal.

the end.
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Old 05-13-2004, 06:01 AM   #2
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Boy would that suck.

I guess she's not going to give you a humdinger now.
...and another handful of almonds
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Old 05-13-2004, 06:17 AM   #3
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I consider myself a liberal woman, but some have taken it much too far. As condoning as some comments may be at times, being called a "hot girl" is always flattering.
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Old 05-13-2004, 06:19 AM   #4
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This is a good example of exaggeration in the US of A.

It's good to protect women against perverts in the workingplace, and anywhere else. But you (in your version of the story) don't seem the do that. You just say she's hot.

That's not harassment.

That's a stupid c u n t .
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Old 05-13-2004, 07:39 AM   #5
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What a bitch!

Working there, she knows exactly what problems she was causing you. Still she goes ahead doing this shit.
I say you can argue the case, because calling someone hot is not an offence dammit. I don't know how smart it would be to argue it though, depends whos on your team and her team and since you dont know shit about her I suggest you get to work and find out.

RuneT, respect!!
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Old 05-13-2004, 08:25 AM   #6
no more nice girl
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Guess she didn't think you were hot.
He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.
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Old 05-13-2004, 09:29 AM   #7
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I'd of quit before i signed anything...or called my lawyer. JT, you're lax in enforcing your legal rights in certain situations.
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Old 05-13-2004, 09:31 AM   #8
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Guess she didn't think you were hot.

whether she was attracted to me or not is completely irrelevant to this thread. you have a keen sense of saying the most idiotic things at the most inopportune times.
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Old 05-13-2004, 09:34 AM   #9
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Originally posted by Audreyvgs
I'd of quit before i signed anything...or called my lawyer. JT, you're lax in enforcing your legal rights in certain situations.
yeah you're right. ill quit my career.. in fact, i think ill quit paying my bills too. come to think of it, my mortgage has always really hindered me.. ill quit paying that too.
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Old 05-13-2004, 10:12 AM   #10
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I know you are in a bad mood, but I also know you understood what Audrey meant.
As for the chick: she probably has had a bad run of it and hasn't had anything to gossip to her girl friends about for a year. She has mentioned this to someone and they said "OMG..That is sexual harrassment!" Stupid tramps like her make it impossible to know how to act or react to anyone.
Hot or not, remember this:
Someone someplace is sick of putting up with her shit.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 05-13-2004, 10:33 AM   #11
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I don't know. I am going to take a chance and voice a different view point.
Why did your opinion of her looks have any bearing on being polite?

Why did you have to choose the word Hot? If you had said, "you have a nice smile, nice smile's go first", you probably wouldn't have gotten the pink slip. Hot means sexy to most people. You can't say someone is sexy without risking a sexual harrassment suit.

In all fairness she should have done something less extreme but if you were to do it again, or escalate your comment beyond a verbal judgement of her physical appearance, she would have a legal leg to stand on.

Perhaps it was an expression on your face, something she perceived as predatory or humiliating. Perhaps your height and proximity unnerved her. Perhaps without being aware of it, you have a reputation that preceeded you and that was enough to make her more sensitive to your words.

It is a world where sexual harrassment happens. The rules are in place to keep the vulnerable safe. Just realize that you made her feel vulnerable somehow. Learn from it and be more careful.

Oh and thank your lucky stars that you didn't touch her arm or anything.
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Old 05-13-2004, 11:13 AM   #12
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Unfortunately, you can't say anything anymore.

I don't think that what you said was completely harmless, but if I would have been the woman, I prob'ly would have just shrugged it off and laughed. Certainly there are more threatening, worse remarks to make, such as, "Nice ass," or "I hear you put out." If I understand you correctly, you were only trying (albeit in a perhaps inappropriate way) to be nice. I would either have thought nothing of it, thought it was funny, thought you were kind of cute and responded in kind, or thought you were a hopeless loser whose chances of playing starting pitcher for the Yankees were a lot better than your chances of getting in my drawers. In any event, I wouldn't have done anything unless it happened more than once.

Now, if I had seen you every day for a number of days, and each day you made a personal comment, and I found it was making me uncomfortable, and I asked you plainly to stop (saying something like, "Your personal remarks make me uncomfortable; please don't talk to me unless it's about work"), and you kept doing it, sure; I'd complain. That's one thing. But I think it's almost always better to try to settle things person-to-person first. Then, if the person ignores a "friendly" warning, you may do whatever you feel the situation merits, up to and including getting them fired.

She's probably had a similar experience before, one that may have ended badly, and it triggered a reaction. Or she is very young and sensitive. Or it truly disturbed her. Or she is deliberately making trouble for you (or anyone else foolish enough to try to proffer her an awkward compliment, as human beings will do). In any event, unfortunately for you, her reaction is her own business, and that is one of many reasons it's wise to refrain from making a personal remark to anyone you don't know.

Live and learn. You can't say anything anymore. Like 'Dite pointed out, the rules are in place to protect the vulnerable. Whether we like it or not, we have to be careful of what we say.
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Old 05-13-2004, 12:41 PM   #13
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Wait..this happened at the gym? Or was it a gym attatched to your workplace??

This is complete crap, there is a big difference between minor flirting and sexual harrasment. You don't even know this girl. I think there is a very strong argument here and you should really fight it. Do you have an option to fight it or did that go out the window when you signed the paper.

I think you should really contact a lawyer, this girl is harming your career and you can take action against that. You could make a civil claim against her for just that.

I just watched a case on court TV where this dumb biatch wrote a letter into a cop that ended up going in his file because she was pissed that she couldn't talk her way out of a ticket with the fact that her dad was a retired policeman. She was all pretty and stuck up looking. He argued that the letter harmed his reputation and advancment and was now part of his permanent file.

The judge saw right through it.

He won $5000 from the biatch.
Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.

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Old 05-13-2004, 03:52 PM   #14
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Considering the crap I've put up with at some jobs - and you'd be shocked at what my supervisors have put up with, despite my complaints - in a way I think it's great she's being taken seriously -
On the other hand, if women - or men, too, for that matter, although I expect fewer men feel the need to complain about sexual harassment - abuse these circumstances in this way, I think eventually they will be less likely to be taken seriously, and that's a shame.
It's obvious to me (at least, according to the way you've told the story) that whatever she may have felt, it was more about her insecurities than about your impropriety. Sorry you're having to go through this.
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
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Old 05-13-2004, 04:30 PM   #15
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Ok, JT, as you are in wont of telling tales to elicit reactions, I'm going to take a stab and say that's what you're doing here.


Because as a law enforcement officer, you know the law -- or you're supposed to.

Harrassment laws pretty much say that there has to be three citations plus the person cited has to go to sensitivity training seminars on harassment before any kind of firing can take place. There's very little flexibility on this.

Those three citations have to come from the same person, or happen within a short period of time from three different people. But the key here is three.

Now either you're not telling the full story here and you've said something on more than one ocassion to this woman, or you've been hauled in for three separate complaints -- or you're making this all up to see what people will say.

Or, quite possibly, your boss doesn't know harrassment laws.

As well, this "bitch" works in a predominantly male profession -- so perhaps your comment was on the heels of some laviscious comment that some higher commanding officer made towards her, and you got the bum deal. In that case, I'm sorry.

But again, as an officer, you should know the laws, and know better than to mix it up at work.

I work in an environment of older males. They just don't "get" what harrassment means and to a certain extent I have to tolerate it -- I've listened to 65-year-old men argue with each other on who can get the bigger erection and still be able to impregnate women -- it's creepy, but they're not doing it "at" me, it's just a different generation.

So which is it JT? You've been called on this three times already, you're making it up, or your boss doesn't know harassment laws?
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