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Old 12-05-2005, 11:56 PM   #1
beckstra
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A Well Of Non-experience:

So, I guess I come off as someone worthy of others to confide in or become their relationship guru. I don't take offence with any of them. I answer questions to the best of my knowledge, take off others advice given to me (at least the reasonable advice, the absurd stuff I just keep stored away in case I ever actually need it), and I empethize to the best of my ability.

The only thing that gets my goad is that I have no idea what the hell any of them are talking about. My new thing is getting "what should I do in this situation" or "if person a is this and person b is this and they're perfect for eachother in every other facet, does it break your heart that they won't be together" questions. Which I try to direct back to them and their emotional abilities ie. figure out how to get them to answer their own questions for themselves.

I mean, I'm 25, never had a relationship, never even had anyone interested enough to bother, denied at any advances I've ever made, and here I am being asked to pass out relational advice like breathmints in church. The worst part is I've come to the point in my life where everyone around me is all about their husbands or wives or children and they're still wanting to confied in me. It's gotten so bad I've finally come to the point where a good percent of my conversations use the phrase, "a well of non-experience."

This isn't supposed to be a dumpy thread, but moreso, how do I still have deep relationships with friends without turning this corner? Do I abandon all my friends in abusive relationships? Do I tell all of them to not talk about their kids around me? Do I just let them know how selfish I feel I can aford to be simply because I've never been entitled to woes of their nature.

Bah humbug.
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Old 12-06-2005, 12:43 AM   #2
madasacutsnake
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There is something hysterically funny about your post. Some image of you calmly sailing through life while your oddly obsessive friends bother you with strange questions.

When they start on, start moaning about how "I can't get a boyfriend, tell me honestly why I can't get a boyfriend, I will be a virgin when I die, do you think I'll be a virgin when I die, I'd really like kids but I think it's getting a bit late for me, do you think it's too late for me............". You get the pic. The real frineds will give advice at which point you can own up to winding them up and the others, well, you probably never really liked them anyway.

What sort of church do you got that gives out breathmints.
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:47 AM   #3
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You know what really gets my goaT ? When someone with a weALTH of non-experience passes out breath mints at my church.
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Old 12-06-2005, 08:27 AM   #4
beckstra
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Nope, it's goad and well. A) I have no goat to get. B)When I use the "well" example, I even use hand refrences when I say it. Wells are under the ground. Also, I do not consider my lack of knowledge to be any kind of wealth. Sorry.

And thanks for correcting me in my own thread. I do not know you, so consider me "in my place."

As far as the breathmints comment, have you ever been to church sitting with a group of people and someone brings out a packet of breathmints who then feels obliged to share them and ends up with only one or two mints left? That's why altoid tins are so big and packed chock full'o'mints. 'Cause of church.

Good idea though. I have never done that.
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Old 12-06-2005, 12:03 PM   #5
dinzdale
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckstra
Do I tell all of them to not talk about their kids around me?
Yes, you must tell them otherwise you have to listen to that sh1t all the fvcking time.
And NEVER buy the fundraiser candy. NEVER.

I knew I always liked you..
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Old 12-06-2005, 01:24 PM   #6
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It comes with time. I didnt have a freaking clue til i was 38.
I will admit tho, i was, uh, a little more curious and uh, experimentational
than I think you might be. Relationships was not on the menu, so to
speak, so I abandoned all care or need for that. I did figure out what the
"nothing left to lose" comment by Janis Joplin meant.

o hell,im writin a book. it comes.

What theyre lookin to you for is common sense. Make em buy that new Dr Phil book on relationships.
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Old 12-06-2005, 01:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Make em buy that new Dr Phil book on relationships.
Ahhhhhhh! Dr. Phil ..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. I would trust Jerry Springer to give more unbiased opinions than the "good" Dr. Just make them give you the money they would spend on the book.

edited to fix transposed letters.
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Last edited by Avalon : 12-06-2005 at 04:38 PM.
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Old 12-06-2005, 02:36 PM   #8
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I always thought the breathmints in church were to disguise the odor of vodka! Ya know that Bloody Mary to help you get through the really long, boring sermon.
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:30 PM   #9
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Dr Phil is a pompous windbag.

But, much like Beetlejuice, the mention of his name gives me another opportunity to post

THISSSSSSSSSSSSS


http://www.mangydog.com/games/drphil.php

again.



Becks, I think it's fine until YOU start asking THEM for advice. That in itself will separate the chaff from the wheat. Some people only want to hear/talk about their own fascinating selves...can you imagine?

If your morals dictate that you not hang w/people in abusive relationships, who have asked you for advice BUT THEN STILL STAY IN SAID RELATIONSHIP, then by all means cut them off. Stop returning calls, they will get the message eventually.

Buy a wiener dog & when ppl start talking about their kids, START TALKING ABOUT THAT DOG!!!

And yes, honey, it's GOAT. To goaD someone is to egg them on. I know you don't HAVE a goat, but it's only a figure of speech.
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:31 PM   #10
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Talking

Oh & this is for Beale:

You don't need Dr. Phil's permission to take a big swim in Lake Jackass.
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Old 12-06-2005, 03:33 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckstra
Nope, it's goad and well. A) I have no goat to get. B)When I use the "well" example, I even use hand refrences when I say it. Wells are under the ground. Also, I do not consider my lack of knowledge to be any kind of wealth. Sorry. And thanks for correcting me in my own thread. I do not know you, so consider me "in my place."
Well put, Sunshine! I can't stand when people correct...unless its someone you know teasing you.

And I don't know why people whine/advise ask...I have a "friend" (in quotes because I don't even think she really knows me anymore) who out of the last three times we've had lunch? She just talks about HERSELF. Like, she has NO idea what is going on with me!
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Old 12-09-2005, 09:38 PM   #12
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Even worse - the ones who know they are self-obsessing, then after an hour patronizingly say "I've talked about myself enough - what's going on with you?" and proceed to immediately zone out until they can swing the converstion around to themselves again.
I've been gradually trying to eliminate these squids from my life. They can suck it right out of you. They've just become way too exhausting, and there are far too many truly interesting people in the world to find time for as it is.
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Old 12-10-2005, 02:08 AM   #13
priceyfatprude
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brynn
Even worse - the ones who know they are self-obsessing, then after an hour patronizingly say "I've talked about myself enough - what's going on with you?" and proceed to immediately zone out until they can swing the converstion around to themselves again.
I've been gradually trying to eliminate these squids from my life. They can suck it right out of you. They've just become way too exhausting, and there are far too many truly interesting people in the world to find time for as it is.
I wasn't aware that you knew my mother.
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Old 12-10-2005, 04:06 AM   #14
bealeblues
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Quote:
You don't need Dr. Phil's permission to take a big swim in Lake Jackass.
well that's refreshing. i mean the swim i just took.
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Old 12-13-2005, 10:19 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckstra
This isn't supposed to be a dumpy thread, but moreso, how do I still have deep relationships with friends without turning this corner? Do I abandon all my friends in abusive relationships? Do I tell all of them to not talk about their kids around me? Do I just let them know how selfish I feel I can aford to be simply because I've never been entitled to woes of their nature.

Bah humbug.
Well you may have to dig to find things you're still going to have in common. But sometimes people just drift apart you know. Different lives. Then again, the friend you're making now at 25 could be your best friend you can't imagine not having in your life when you're 35. In my experience people in shitty relationships mostly want sympathy now, so simply tell them, it's awful, they shouldn't have to put up with it and to find someone new, years later they probably will, but they've got to make that choice. Unless you try to steer the conversation when it's about the kids, they're just going to dump it on you. The intelligent ones will realise it's not that interesting to you anyway. No, they'll either miss the benefits of singletondom themselves, or they won't and probably regard you as some sort of half-person.

Merry Christmas.
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