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Old 06-28-2007, 06:52 AM   #1
Marcus Bales
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Name Your Poison

In this thread, we invent amusing new drink names and make at least a vague attempt to be funny by saying what's in them. Whether they taste good or are in good taste is irrelevant.

You name it and the next person describes what's in it, and names the next drink.

I'll start with some examples:

Moby Dick and a Queequeg Chaser

-- A glass of white milk and a shot of Ovaltine

Absorba the Greek

-- a clean sponge on a sushi plate, with a shot of ouzo poured into it; you suck the sponge.

The Columbus

-- Three schooners of beer named "Nina", "Pinta", and "Santa Maria"; if you can still remember their names when you're finished, you haven't discovered a new world yet.
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Last edited by Marcus Bales : 06-28-2007 at 06:57 AM.
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:06 AM   #2
brightpearl
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I simply adore a well-made

Screeching Lily

..but I can't recall what's in it. Anyone?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:47 AM   #3
trisherina
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A shot of warm sake with fuschia lipstick round the rim.

Just the other day I was craving a Funnel Cloud. What's in that again?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:54 AM   #4
Marcus Bales
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Screeching Lilly - Three Seconal ground up in a shot of vodka, poured over a $100,000,000 bar, served on a coaster of an issue of Poetry Magazine.


Who remembers what's in a Slowhand?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:58 AM   #5
Marcus Bales
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Oops!

A Funnel Cloud - A very old-fashioned drink: creme de menthe with a dollop of heavy whipping cream poured in gently with a swirling motion. Three of these and you'll be in the Emerald City!


ok, NOW, who remembers what's in a Slowhand?
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Old 06-28-2007, 10:51 AM   #6
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^Marcus, I think yours is a Sleeping Lily. Common mistake.

A slowhand is one part apple juice, four parts sloe gin, and the bartender slaps you across the face to wake you up at closing time.

Remember what we had at TIP's birthday cotillion? What was it called? Oh, yes,

a Freaking Mime...
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Old 06-28-2007, 11:10 AM   #7
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A Freaking Mime - the bartender puts a hat with 25 cents in it on the bar and hands you an invisible glass containing an invisible drink. You spit in his face, and the bouncer breaks your skull. The drugs you get in hospital are good, though

now, what was in a Smelly Bassett again?
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:32 PM   #8
seebe
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A Black and Blue uses some of the same ingredients as the Peacemaker. Only instead of Blue Brainwash soda you use the Black and Blue Youtalkintome soda and instead of 15 crushed valiums you add 5 shots of steroids. Mix in a few drops of PLSD (Paranoia enhancing LSD) and there you have it.

I need the recipe for a Siwwy Wabbit.
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Old 08-03-2007, 03:41 PM   #9
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A Siwwy Wabbit

3 oz vodka
3 oz vanilla schnapps
3 oz carrot juice, strained
Ice
heavy whipping cream

Mix all ingredients except the cream in a blender, pour into a large martini glass. Dribble the cream in a pattern that starts in the middle and makes a swirl out to the edge.

This is a cute and very sweet little creature that leads you far into the unknown, and then leaves you there befuddled and unable to say your R's -- or very much else, for that matter.

The hard part is getting a pretty white swirl in the thick orangey drink's surface. It takes a steady hand.


Anyone know what's in a Magic Eight Ball?
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Old 08-04-2007, 12:13 PM   #10
seebe
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A Magic Eight Ball is a fun drink, more because you play a game of Eight Ball while drinking it, than what it's made of.
It consists of
a shot of Baileys
3 shots of Good Luck
And a sprinkling of I brought my Condom
Served in a tall rose colored glass

How it is drunk...You make a wish and the bartender shakes the 8 ball, if the answer is no you have to take a big slug. The funny part is, most of the bars have a No only ball, so the patron gets pretty frustrated and very tipsy before he is told. Then he's usually cut off before he gets too rowdy. You can guess what most wish for.


Anyone ever heard of a Tainted Tart?

Last edited by seebe : 08-06-2007 at 03:46 AM. Reason: forgot to add my request
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Old 08-08-2007, 09:32 AM   #11
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Tainted Tart:

One shot Raspberry Creme Soda
One shot gin
One shot vermouth
One shot contact cement

The drink that sticks to you...literally.

Anyone ever tried a Barry Bonds?
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Old 08-08-2007, 01:16 PM   #12
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A Barry Bonds is a complicated drink and hard to find the ingredients. Therefore, some bar tenders, who ironically seem to all be Cub fans, refuse to make it.
A shot of success
A shot of grand slam whiskey
A shot of is he taking steroids or not?

Usually the whole bar watches the patron drink then beats the crap out of him after he's done because he refuses to mingle with them in the way they desire.

Can I get the recipe for a Flaming Fudge
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Old 11-12-2007, 03:22 AM   #13
Brynn
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I hat you and I want you to drink poison and I'm only replying to you in order to get Paris Hilton xx pictures off of page one and replace it with this thread, you subaltituldinousspambot

Now, where were we?
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Old 08-09-2007, 03:42 PM   #14
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Great choice! you need the darkest beer you can find, stir in a couple heaping spoonfuls of pure caffeine, light on fire, and enjoy.(It's best if you put out the fire before you drink it...)

does anyone know how to make a Yellow Mutt?
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Old 08-14-2007, 09:29 AM   #15
brightpearl
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A Yellow Mutt is a hair-of-the-dog remedy. It's inspired by a Bloody Mary.

1 1/2 ounces vodka
1/2 cup golden kiwi juice
juice of half a lemon
dash of Worcestershire
a good teaspoon of wasabi
garnish with a wedge of lemon and a Milk Bone.

Howzabout a Rosy Brimstone?
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