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Old 12-21-2010, 05:25 PM   #1
Marcus Bales
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Inappropriate Interpretations of Christmas Songs

I've got a pal here in Cleveland who has been arguing that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is a date rape song. I've told him that's ridiculous, that it's by Frank Loesser, the king of the witty elliptical approach to love songs, that it's clear from the song that the woman comes over to the man's house, so who's seducing who, here, and finally asked him whether he thinks that Loesser's "Slow Boat to China" is a kidnapping song, all to no avail. He's still insisting on applying inappropriate political correctness.

So I'd like to get a list of other Christmas songs with equally inappropriate interpretations in order to mock his ideas about that song. I have a modest collection here. I'd appreciate it if you could add to it:


Santa Claus is Coming to Town -- big brotherism, stalking
I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- adultery
All I want for Christmas is You -- slavery
Santa Baby -- prostitution, blackmail

Any others?
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Old 12-21-2010, 05:41 PM   #2
Frieda
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last christmas (i gave you my heart) - organ harvesting
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Old 12-21-2010, 08:16 PM   #3
Hyakujo's Fox
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Old 12-22-2010, 03:15 AM   #4
funkytuba
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Old 12-22-2010, 03:27 AM   #5
YsaPur EsChomuw
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - sensless consumerism


Wait! Isn't it what Christmas is about..?
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Old 12-22-2010, 03:28 AM   #6
YsaPur EsChomuw
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Have yourself a merry little Christmas - coming out

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer - integrating alcoholics into society
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:17 PM   #7
trisherina
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I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -- childhood confrontation with moral relativism
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:57 PM   #8
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I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - Cocaine fantasy.
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:59 PM   #9
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:03 PM   #10
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:27 PM   #11
lukkucairi
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:29 PM   #12
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Old 12-22-2010, 01:31 PM   #13
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The First Noel - bestiality
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Old 12-22-2010, 02:55 PM   #14
trisherina
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox View Post
Ding Dong Merrily on High - WEED!
Angels We Have Heard on High, anyone?

P.S. I agree with Marcus' friend. It's a date rape song.
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Old 12-22-2010, 02:58 PM   #15
funkytuba
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O Come All Ye Faithful - could be so many things
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