Letters that get me through the day.

[Veruki]

Dear Microshitoft,

You thought you had me fooled! I betcha think it was funny I've spent almost two whole days trying to figure out my computer issues. Maybe next time instead of letting me believe that my poor computer has some horrible viral disease you'll just fess up and say it's all your fault!

with no love,
V

[craig johnston]

dear cups, plates, knives, forks, spoons (and that means you too, tea spoons) and especially pots and pans,

could you please just clean yourselves, just once?

tia

cj

[Veruki]

To my little red volvo,

I'm sorry someone egged you. Don't cry, take it as a compliment. You see the thing is people are jealous of you. I know you are upset, but know that you are a good car and have never disapointed me. I promise to play all your favorite song to help you feel better.
<3,
V


Dear mommy,

How was I suposed to know that I had to pick up the little one today if you didn't tell me? He waited in school for a long time for me! You are my mother and I love you, but it's time you grew up and became more responsible. I know this is hard for you to understand, but I'm moving out soon. What are you going to do when I leave?? I do all the cooking, I do all the housework, and I do all the gorceries. Remember last time you went to the supermarket? You bought ham and no cheese or bread. You bought spaghetti sauce and no spaghetti. Then you bought 3 steaks when you know that there are 5 people that eat in our house. Don't get me wrong, you're a great mom, you're just ditzy. All I'm trying to say is I can't do this much longer, and when I leave even less.

xoxo
V


Dear office management,

what is wrong with you? how many times do I have to tell you about the toilet water in my office. it's right at the entrance, do you realize how unacceptable it is that everytime I have a client come in I have to yell "WATCH OUT FOR THE TOILET WATER!!" as they walk in!
I don't like being rude with you...I'm a peaceful person, but enough is enough.
How dare your receptionist tell me there is nothing she can do about it! It's your fault for not giving the restrooms proper maintance to begin with. By they way, I told you about the water problem in the restrooms 2 months ago.
If case you haven't notice before you took over this building was full of tenants, tenants that had been here for 15+ years. Since you got here you've lost 30% of those tenants, and no one new is coming in. GET YOU'RE CRAP TOGETHER! Just so you know, we are the next to go... we weren't kidding when we said we were buying our own building.

V

[priceyfatprude]

Originally Posted by craig johnston

dear cups, plates, knives, forks, spoons (and that means you too, tea spoons) and especially pots and pans,

could you please just clean yourselves, just once?

tia

cj

^^ love it.

[Brynn]

Dear Dad -
I really think you would have liked my kids. I think they would have been your favorites in particular. They are very funny like you. I think they would have loved you too.

[l'azizza]

Dear beer,
You are an easy friend. You go well with everything.

Dear vodka,
You've haunted me in the freezer for months, then found your way into the fridge without your cap. You make me sick. I feel your acidic hatefulness in my cheeks. You're no fun. If you're not wasted by now you'll soon find your home down the kitchen sink.

T

[Brynn]

dear l'azzizza -
you should stop drinking so early in the morning and mail that bottle of vodka to me. I'm out.
xxoo
brynn

[Avalon]

Dear Me,

Never try to play the answer/question game..or any game for that matter, after you have taken an Ambien. Go to directly to bed and avoid your keyboard.

Everyone thanks you for your cooperation in this matter,
Me

[Jack Flanders]

Dear Me,

You did good - and continue to keep your mouth shut because they really do not care if your feelings are hurt. Remember our Mantra!

I love you, Kiddo!!

[brightpearl]

^That's awesome.

[Jack Flanders]

Dear Me,

I know, I know our tongue is bleeding but just chill. It ain't worth it.

Me, again. Stop!! I mean it!!!

[Frieda]

dear car department,

you SUCK! YOU go clean that mf car!

sincerely,
me.

[beckstra]

Dear Unemployment,
You couldn't suit me more unless I were wealthy. I *heart* you...but probably only for another few days. I kinda need a job. Soooo...until then.
Gainfully unemployed,
ME!

[auntie aubrey]

dear nutterbutters:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


love,
your auntie

[Mik]

dear dad,

you're dead now, for a year.
The show's going well and yes, I'm still painting.

too bad I never wrote you before.
you are well missed!

-mik