ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > FICTION PROJECT
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 01-31-2007, 01:49 PM   #16
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
"I just LOVE my Pactonob! I-love-it-I-love-it-I-love-it!!!! I'll admit that there were some pretty lonely evenings in my life before I got mine, but those days are gone for good! It's so discreet too. It's sitting in plain view on my beside table with my other elephant figurines, and no one's the wiser!"

Allison Beurre, Capitola Village, CA.




QuixoQueep
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2007, 10:10 PM   #17
auntie aubrey
excursions
 
auntie aubrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: beyond the call of duty
Posts: 2,443
To the Merchandising Manager of Quixco Int'l:

I am writing with a mixed review of your much lauded QuixoQueep product. First, while I do appreciate the innovative packaging design of the trademarked QuixoCup, I found its capacity inadequate for my needs. Additionally, when the first of the three crates arrived I quickly discovered that one of the crates was missing a packet of wingnuts and a crucial tuning rod. Frankly I am somewhat baffled as to how a product with only 6 moving parts could possibly be so haphazardly packed and shipped.

But this is where I must commend Quixco Int'l for its stellar customer service. I contacted the toll free number and a specialist identified my order and corrected the parts omissions immediately. My wingnuts and tuning rod arrived via overnight mail the very next day, and I even had time to rehearse before my first QuixoQueep performance outside of the Route 9 IHOP restaurant. To date, your QuixoQueep has offered me the greatest customer satisfaction I have ever experienced in the purchasing of a semi-legal performance art aide.

Keep up the good work, and please let me know if you ever work out the chafing issue with the auxiliary thigh lever.

Sincerely,
Martha "Kim" Stubing
Professional Queeper



next: rhommen
__________________
that dog won't hunt, monsignor
auntie aubrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2007, 12:24 PM   #18
zero
 
zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: l mn
Posts: 13,853
my dudes! your calm ness of seclusion and hearty welcome of the rhommen apartments were loved thank you. also the pet lizard between the wood of the coconut palm. we possessed the visit of the daily newspaper from the small blue kind of rammer which enjoyed the pool for thing and the recovery which we ate with much care. october and i probably will meet once more!

- ken & lian yabushita, the dingle peninsula, ireland

next: squiddies
zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2007, 01:54 PM   #19
Marcus Bales
________________
 
Marcus Bales's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
If there's a better-made club than Squiddies, I haven't found it in a lifetime of playing the game. Keep up the good work.

Sgt Maj Reginald Spottsworth-Migliorini, Lower Knebley-on-the-Gorm, Hants.

next: torvaldiste
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight --
My heart is nearly pure.
Marcus Bales is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2007, 03:04 PM   #20
funkytuba
Spone to Proonerisms
 
funkytuba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 4,530
TO WHOM IT MAY CONVERN:
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE TORVALDISTE HAS BEEN TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!
I HAD PREVIOUSLY ONLY HAD EXPERIENCE WITH WIN DOWS BUT WHEN YOUR EXPERT OPERATING SYSTEM ENTHUSIASTS WROTE ME MY OWN LLIENUCKS DISTRIBUTION I HAVE NEVER ONCE LOOKED BACK[] ; then NOW I CAN PACKAGE MY OWN SOFTWARE AND BE SIRE OF WHAT I'M RUNNING.
THANK YOU TORVAAAAQtAStsAS@t3w@#%ss^asraa usa56^^
***no carrier***


NEXT:
ujjwok-sareen
__________________
...and another handful of almonds
funkytuba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 01:49 AM   #21
trisherina
meretricious dilettante
 
trisherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
"I took my ujjwok-sareen to the Star Trek convention and everyone agreed it was the best herb-vaporizer there!

- Anonymous, Surrey, BC

Next: varicule
trisherina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 07:00 AM   #22
12"razormix
 
12"razormix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: sk
Posts: 6,458
Dear Sirs/Mesdames,

I am returning the Varicule that I ordered from your "Sweet Secrets" website on January 7th, 2007 and expect a full refund of my expenses! The product is not what I had expected and, I must say, it leaves me wondering why you would offer such a useless item under false pretenses to begin with. The shape is extremely unpleasing to the neck and - no - it did NOT leave me feeling "relaxed and tingly" all over! You must know that I suffer from severe neck pain and shoulder stiffness due to the pressures and tribulations of my busy practice and the Varicule massaging unit was my very last hope for betterment.

Suggestions for improvement: the sleek shape does NOTHING for tense muscles and the speed settings are questionable to say the least as well. Did you even consult one single practitioner during the development of this product? The design, a personal issue one might say, has generated much ridicule and snide remarks from colleagues and clients who now don't seem to hold me in as high a regard as before I ordered this contraption and I have lived to regret the day!

That will be all. Good day.

Regretfully,

James S.T. Dinkleberry
Esq.



Next: WeebeRhaskle

Last edited by 12"razormix : 02-02-2007 at 07:03 AM.
12"razormix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 08:51 AM   #23
zero
 
zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: l mn
Posts: 13,853
"I wish to thank the very professional staff at WeebeRhaskle Hair Restoration Laboratories. Before my procedure i think i wore a baseball cap on almost every day of the last 24 years. I am delighted to say that I have not now worn one in the last two months and do not plan to at all in the future. Furthermore, I now look forward with eager anticipation to my daily shower, as i once again experience the welcome necessity of shampooing a growing head of lush hair (see enclosed photograph). so thanks again, y'all at WeebeRhaskle Hair Restoration Laboratories! ill be in touch again soon to reorder another case of the Weeberhaskle Elixir as the rest grows in."

Ralph Crangle, Honolulu


next: x-bux
zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 02:44 PM   #24
12"razormix
 
12"razormix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: sk
Posts: 6,458
"xxxxbuxx totally ^_^ rulz yo $$$?#!!! gottama shizzzzhzzllll yo mo fo bro da THaNG!"

LaKeeysha, 18


Next: yokokohomomagic
12"razormix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2007, 06:36 AM   #25
zero
 
zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: l mn
Posts: 13,853
"..bought a yokokohomomagic for my wife now the family eats sushi four times a week and im saving plenty of $! before yokokohomomagic i had to run around town to 3 stores to get all the wee fishies she needed but now we have a steady supply right here in our yard. BONSAI!"

trent reznor, NIN

next: zoswellox

Last edited by zero : 02-03-2007 at 06:47 AM.
zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2007, 09:26 PM   #26
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
"I began taking a generic form of zoswellox about five years ago, and can't quit - not because I can't, but because I can't imagine life without it now. Before, I was just a mess of involuntary body noise - a mess! with Zoswellox, I can command those noises at will, and boy, it sure does come in handy at meetings that drone on too long. I can now make my stomach rumble so loud that it's practically disruptive, sending a clear message that people are hungry and need to eat! (laughs). If I get a bad meal in a restaurant, or find myself on bad date, I can fill the place with my gases. Zoswellox has opened up whole new career opportunities for me as a Foley artist, and I've even started pursuing one of my life-long dreams to be a stand-up comedian. All I have to do is take it before a set, and before you know it, I can make any involuntary bodily sound when I need it, where I need it - and my timing just keeps getting better! Thanks Zoswellox!"

Joseph Balloon, Little Rock, Arkansas


Acu-Veer
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 01:22 AM   #27
Marcus Bales
________________
 
Marcus Bales's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
The new Acu-veer attachment for my vibrator has changed my life! Now, instead of losing just the right touch at just the wrong moment, no matter what kinds of muscles spasm, Acu-veer keeps the gently vibrating head properly in place! I can't thank you enough.

Enid Bligh, Ascension Island

next: barnople
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight --
My heart is nearly pure.
Marcus Bales is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 01:42 AM   #28
trisherina
meretricious dilettante
 
trisherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
"Before Barnople, I had no practice-based evidence that my Baby Mozart DVDs were superior to Barney. Thanks to Barnople's outright theft of Maya's design consultancy principles, and their application to infant and toddler entertainment, I don't just guess -- I KNOW -- that my "mommy time" vastly benefits Beckett and Colton."

-- Susan Grommett, SAHM, Winnepeg, MB

Next: Cuckoldin
trisherina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 03:47 PM   #29
xoites
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 5
Thank you for Culkoldin. Before you no wife would touch me!

Next: Diatribia
xoites is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2007, 09:10 AM   #30
zero
 
zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: l mn
Posts: 13,853
i will never forget playing diatribia last night! i was the last to be nekkid and got the most chocolate counters in my bucket. congrats on a great innovation in adult board games. diatribia has not only completely changed how i look at my auntie violet and uncle sid, but it has also completely changed how they look at each other (as i write this they haven't come out of their cabin yet and it's nearly half past three in the afternoon!). you guys rock!


bishop kenneth ndabaningi, c/o ss pride of aloha


next: ezepeas
zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 02:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.