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Old 02-23-2006, 05:11 PM   #121
dinzdale
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ATTENTION LURKERS:

All of the continuous arse kissing has resulted in TopCat needing an arse transplant






STOP PRESS - The arse has rejected him - STOP PRESS
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Old 02-23-2006, 06:24 PM   #122
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With all the arse kissing for TC, his arse should be pretty lubed up by now!
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Old 02-23-2006, 11:27 PM   #123
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December 5, 2005

French doctors perform first ass transplant
By John Breneman

PARIS -- French doctors have shocked the medical world by performing the world's first successful ass transplant. The patient: a black man whose original buttocks was disfigured when he was attacked by lurkers while eating beef jerky.

Top Cat came through the surgery well and is now under round-the-clock observation to make sure his body does not reject the ass -- or, even more important, that the new gluteus maximus does not reject him.

The crack team of ass surgeons used a state-of-the-art croquet mallet to anesthetize the patient before slapping on the considerably smaller donor buttocks, harvested from a Chippendale's dancer who was killed in a bizarre accident involving a top hat, a walking stick and five unidentified gerbils.

Doctors encountered several complications during the nine-hour operation, including periodic blasts of flatulence described as "heinous." Efforts to salvage part of the man's original can were unsuccessful.

"Both cheeks were totaled in the attack. Those lurkers really wrecked 'em," said Dr. Francois Butay, noting that surgeons were forced to use polyurethane putty, roofing tar and an ordinary household caulking gun to help secure the donor ass.

Doctors say Mssr. Cat should be able to live a fairly normal life, once his loved ones get used to the constant odor of industrial waste. But he has been told he will definitely need an ass lift in several years and, of course, biannual injections of Botox in the buttocks.
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Old 02-24-2006, 12:15 AM   #124
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it really is healing nicely.please pucker up.
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Old 02-24-2006, 07:02 AM   #125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Audreyvgs

The crack team of ass surgeons
ahaha nice pun!
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Old 02-24-2006, 02:04 PM   #126
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Gerbils!!!!
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Old 02-25-2006, 03:14 AM   #127
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351 ass kissing lurkers. they all must like my new ass. please be gentle it is still healing. thank you.
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Old 02-25-2006, 03:15 AM   #128
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peefs, i think we will need more popcorn and coolaid
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Old 02-25-2006, 04:16 PM   #129
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the amount of lurkers is increasing. i think it is because of my new ass.lurkers please remember to use chapstick or something else suitable before kissing my ass, i am trying to prevent anymore cases of chapped ass. one more thing if you see craig johnson trying to toss my salad please give him a tony danza for me. thanks in advance and please dont linger to long just kiss and go. thanks again.
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Old 02-25-2006, 08:48 PM   #130
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I think either HB or I should stand guard with a cattle prod for those who linger too long or start with the salad...what'cha think, T? We could skip it during the slow periods, but use it to move the line along when it gets over 100.
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Old 02-25-2006, 08:56 PM   #131
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just might work avalon. i don't want to be to harsh with the lurkers after all they are here to admire and kiss my shining new black ass.
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Old 02-25-2006, 09:42 PM   #132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topcat
peefs, i think we will need more popcorn and coolaid
I'm on it, like TomKat on a photo op.
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Old 02-26-2006, 02:30 AM   #133
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see i thought you would have been on it like black on rice.
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Old 02-27-2006, 12:53 AM   #134
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i think all the lurkers are here because of my shining new ass.please come back tomorrow we will be passing out pictures of naked animals while you wait in line.peefs also said we might try kettle corn tomorrow. i can hardly wait.
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Old 02-27-2006, 12:53 AM   #135
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Quote:
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see i thought you would have been on it like black on rice.
Just for you, I got BLACK cherry kool-aid!!!!

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