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Old 12-05-2004, 04:52 PM   #16
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I am usually the Christmas person at our house; however, due to the events of this past summer, I have less than no interest. This attitude is the one shown by my husband every year.

However, the 6 year old mentioned that our house doesn't look like Christmas and bemoaned the fact that "everyone else's does". That put hsb. on a mission. So now, atleast the livingroom is looking like we expect the holiday to arrive. Oh, and the kitchen as well....they bought every flavor of candy cane in the universe and are thinking up uses for them (if there are any left by the time they get done sampling them).

I am going to try to get with the program this week; I need to bake and mail said baked goods away to some monkeys and I need to finish shopping. I just have noooooo inclination to do any of the things that usually give me such pleasure. Bet my brother would be pissed off at me..maybe I will use that as my motivation.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 12-05-2004, 06:47 PM   #17
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I admire people who have suffered a loss such as you, Avvy, and you, melissa, and carry on. I have no such reason and no excuse either and every Christmas I am just a miserable grouch until it's over. I've tried hard to like it and get into the spirit of things but the most I seem to be able to manage is just not to make it miserable for those around me who DO enjoy it.

Which isn't entirely bad, but it isn't exactly the spirit of largesse and equanimity, either.
There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there."

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Old 12-05-2004, 09:32 PM   #18
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Last December was HORRIBLE for us. The December before I had severe chicken pox and various other yuckie things happen. This year, since I can't be with my family and although Sim and I enjoyed Christmas with his family last year we have no inclination to spend it with anyone but each other. I'm determined to brighten up this month no matter how hard it is. The only thing going right now is Christmas lights in every room but the bathroom. But I'm off to get a tree this week and more decorations. I can't stand this month. I was dreading it and I don't like that. It will always bring pain with the things that have happened in the past but I am going to try my hardest to remember the meaning of the holiday. I do enjoy everything that goes along with the season so I'm going to try my hardest to make this a Christmas different from the past few so that we have some good memories to create and look back on that are recent.

Avalon, you are just having one tough month aren't you? Hang in there hon! We shall consult via PM.
Build a bridge and get over it.

Last edited by Zaftig : 12-05-2004 at 09:48 PM.
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Old 12-05-2004, 09:43 PM   #19
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Avalon, I know your brother would want you to be happy. Melissa, I know your mom would want you to be happy. I am sorry for both of your losses.

I have found that concentrating on making someone else happy usually takes my mind off being miserable. Every year our office adopts a family at Christmas. I have helped deliver presents once, and I tell you what, to see these little kids get excited is well worth the time and money we spent.
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Old 12-06-2004, 07:47 AM   #20
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Overall, I like Christmas. I like the part that gets people to put goofy lights all over their property so that when I come home in the dark (after leaving home in the you guessed it, dark), I mentally wish them well. I like children's Christmas concerts. I like the sudden increase in charity efforts. I am really keen on eating rich foods and drinking stuff I'd normally stay away from.

I really dislike feeling as though I'd have a more perfect holiday ecksperience if I had certain goods, a feeling various purveyors of fine goods try very hard to elicit from October through January. It's a real guilt trip that makes a lot of people unhappy.

It also bothers me that work shuts down over Christmas. It's annoying to not be able to get anything done over the Christmas holiday, and then again over the summer holiday, because everybody's so busy dealing with the time of year. Smells like slacking to me.
Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard
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Old 12-06-2004, 12:01 PM   #21
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I am very sorry for people who have lost a loved one over the holidays or over the last year. I have been the one who suffered through Christmas 'present', while living with ghosts of Christmas 'past'.

I am feeling very Festive, this holiday season. We pulled out the Christmas stuff and decorated. My girls were so happy and we all had fun. We remembered things about almost every decoration we pulled out. We went out yesterday and bought a few little things. We hung lights inside.

It won't be a lot of gifts but we really haven't had a lot of gifts for years. We are happy for the time together and with no place to have to go. Until last year, most of our decorations were homemade. Last year I dated someone who gave me all of his Christmas decorations. He had no place for them. He sold his house and moved in with his Mom. We have the most beautiful tree. Lights outside and in. We have our Christmas mugs and hot chocolate. We have the fireplace. Yep. Festive.
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Old 12-06-2004, 12:03 PM   #22
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One thing I did learn that has sort of helped me was something I was told about four and a half years ago.

"Christmas," someone said, "is a day like any other day, and the day after it will be the 26th, and the day after that will be the 27th, and so on."

You would probably have to be in as awful shape as I was at the time for that to be a revelation, and I apologize for pointing out the obvious. But that year (and actually, in subsequent years), those words went a long way toward helping me unplug the stress machine and just regard it as a 24-hour calendar day like the rest.

And I do like the lights. We put ours up yesterday. They are all stars. Some are white and plain and some are as gaudy and bright as they make 'em, and the biggest one, a white one about two feet tall, shines from our third floor balcony. It looks really cool from the street, because it just sort of hangs there in the air. It's unexpected and it adds magic to our street.
There are few situations in life which wind up with you saying to yourself: "Gee, I wish I'd had worse manners there."

-- trisherina
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Old 12-06-2004, 12:07 PM   #23
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yeah. the lights are good.
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Old 12-06-2004, 12:27 PM   #24
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I usually love Christmas.. I'm not looking forward to it this year though, I think I'll miss my ex.

I too, always think of my brother at Christmas time. I'm sure its the same for all people who've lost someone they love. I like to remember the good memories of him.. us opening presents together as kids!

I like the sense of togetherness in the air, but on the other hand in the Christmas rush which has turned into madness over the last fews years, sometimes I just feel like shouting "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?!" at the top of my lungs!

And of course I like to go and have a jolly good drink with pals
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Old 12-06-2004, 01:02 PM   #25
Key Lime Pie rocks!!!
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Momrbee won't let anyone around her hate Christmas. She's a Christmasaholic and proud of it. My father started his final drop from cancer over Christmas Holidays in 1992 so we should have reason to hate this Holiday, but we don't. Can't explain why but we have always loved the Christmas holidays.
I agree with Klynne that it helps to help others. We're very much involved in what we call Project Joy at work now. All the clinics submit names of families that are in desparate need and we help them out over Thanksgiving with a food basket and Christmas with another food basket and presents for all members of the family. I've had parents cry on my shoulder and thank me repeatedly for all we do. I make a point of passing along the hugs and thanks to all members of our Personnel Activities Committe who coordinate Project Joy.
I make every effort to avoid shopping much around Christmas. Most of my Christmas presents are prints of my pictures which I matte and frame. Easy to do and it keeps me away from crowds and all the commercialism. Most of my other shopping for presents can be done in the space of about two hours the Saturday before. Early in the morning. Really early in the morning!
I can't make anyone enjoy Christmas, and I can't help everyone have a better experience over the Christmas Holiday. I do hope you can see the good side, especially if you look for it in your own situation. There is a lot we all have to be thankful for this time of year.
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Old 12-06-2004, 02:36 PM   #26
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Sorry 'bout your mom Melissa. I hope each year it gets a little easier.

It's never winter at Christmas time here in Houston. I just turned the AC on again last night because it was too stuffy in the house.

I'm don't decorate unless we stay at home for the holidays. Why bother if we leave town? I do buy an amarylis or two to perk things up. Guess I'll be doing a Christmas tree next year. Christmas is really for kids anyway.
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Old 12-06-2004, 02:57 PM   #27
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ok, thats why i said leave it to you, it was a mistake, i had hoped,,,,thanks.

you had a lot on your mind today too.

Last edited by Audreyvgs : 12-06-2004 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 12-06-2004, 03:00 PM   #28
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i had the AC on and a fan on last night too-- muggy in the confederacy....

and im going to break tradition and actually attempt to be in a good mood for the holidays even outside the presence of lil'beale. i always do it up for her, but i'm going to try to be that way in general this year. we'll see how it goes.
still jackasinine, make no mistake
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Old 12-06-2004, 03:01 PM   #29
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sorry, i didn't read the whole thing...
Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.

-Dr. Seuss
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Old 12-06-2004, 03:59 PM   #30
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Originally posted by Audreyvgs
Leave it to zen, she's 7 posts away from somebody sayin their mom committed suicide, and she posts a pic of a holiday suicide. How Kind.
Actually, it's been long enough that I am able to laugh at suicide jokes now. That picture made me chuckle and I sent it around to co-workers. I don't think they liked it very much.
"Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."
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