Post something that made you laugh today. - Page 263 - ZEFRANK.COM

Bman · 11-21-2010, 12:24 PM

Bird bath and beyond.

Marcus Bales · 11-22-2010, 12:47 AM

Bed Bugs and Beyond

lukkucairi · 12-02-2010, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brynn

Him: They are making cars now with engine components that can be grown. Which means super-light engines that can run on biodiesel."

Me: That's good news. Except of course if someone crashes at a high speed with another green engine, both drivers will be crunched up and crumpled like a piece of tin foil.

Him: I suppose it's possible.

Me: According to Mythbusters, even a bug hitting a motorcyclist at a certain speed in a certain vulnerable area of the throat can kill you.

Him: If you happen to be hit by a certain rare African beetle that is four inches in diameter at that exact area in the throat while riding a motorcycle, yes, it could happen. (Pauses as he thoughtfully sips his coffee). By the way, if anyone ever comes at you to hurt you, hit them right here. (He taps the hollow of his throat).

Me: Yes. Puncture them. With my keys in my fist.

Him: Or anything. Your fingers.

Me: My thumb.

Him: Yes.

Me: Then they won't be able to breathe. But do I really want to kill someone just because they want my purse?

Him: (He shrugs) They wouldn't die. They would have a lot of trouble breathing. Might need an emergency tracheotomy though.

Me: I don't think I could hit them there that hard. But if I did, then I would have to call 911 for him. He'd be lying on the ground and I would have to reassure him. (Glancing down over the edge of the breakfast table at an imaginary attacker on the ground) "Just lie quietly. You've been injured. Help is on the way."

Him: Or he might run away in a panic.

Me: Or get really really mad at me. Then I'd be in real trouble.

Him: That's why you have to hit him like you mean it.

Me: Then when he's writhing in pain on the ground, I could lie to him and say "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hit you that hard. Just relax. You're going to need a professional tracheotomy. You're lucky I'm nice enough to call an ambulance. I probably won't even need to press charges because I've already punished you enough myself, so please don't be mad and obsess over this when you go to prison for something else."

Him: (Stares at me briefly, puts a hand on my shoulder and says kindly) I've got to go to work now. I'm glad we've rehearsed this - in case it ever happens.

well done

Brynn · 12-08-2010, 11:27 PM

YsaPur EsChomuw · 12-15-2010, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lukkucairi

qiviut -... The winners are awarded custody of the qiviutanga, a ceremonial pig, which they are required to massage daily with coconut oil for the next two years...

yet another game one hates to win...

Frieda · 12-16-2010, 09:05 AM

http://beardbeanie.com/products.html

MoJoRiSin · 12-16-2010, 11:18 AM

beard beanie

Large Marge · 12-18-2010, 01:10 AM

Gingerbread Crackhouse

lukkucairi · 12-23-2010, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox

my dick in a box - regarding the funeral of Richard Nixon

MoJoRiSin · 01-12-2011, 12:55 AM

myself

Brynn · 01-28-2011, 04:10 AM

Hubble Kaleidoscope

Jack Flanders · 01-28-2011, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lukkucairi

snort!

Frieda · 02-06-2011, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YsaPur EsChomuw

Too much lunch will kill you

brightpearl · 02-08-2011, 08:25 PM

Evolution Made Us All from Ben Hillman on Vimeo.

12"razormix · 02-09-2011, 12:15 PM

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zero

11-22-2010, 12:47 AM	#3932
Marcus Bales ________________ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea. Posts: 8,967	Bed Bugs and Beyond __________________ My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure.

12-08-2010, 11:27 PM	#3934
Brynn constantly amazed Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness Posts: 6,206	__________________ 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction.

12-16-2010, 09:05 AM	#3936
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	http://beardbeanie.com/products.html __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

12-16-2010, 11:18 AM	#3937
MoJoRiSin unbelievable Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 5,664	beard beanie __________________ From stone tablets to html code, it's not lost on me.

12-18-2010, 01:10 AM	#3938
Large Marge monkey Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: The middle Posts: 2,284	Gingerbread Crackhouse __________________ Truth serves only a world that lives by it.

11-21-2010, 12:24 PM	#3931
Bman monkey Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 671	Bird bath and beyond.

01-12-2011, 12:55 AM	#3940
MoJoRiSin unbelievable Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 5,664	myself __________________ From stone tablets to html code, it's not lost on me.

01-28-2011, 04:10 AM	#3941
Brynn constantly amazed Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness Posts: 6,206	Hubble Kaleidoscope __________________ 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction.

02-08-2011, 08:25 PM	#3944
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	Evolution Made Us All from Ben Hillman on Vimeo.

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