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Old 11-21-2002, 01:46 PM   #31
masterofNone
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 5,131
"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"
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Old 11-21-2002, 03:27 PM   #32
nycwriters
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Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"
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Old 11-21-2002, 09:49 PM   #33
oldsoul2002
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 54
Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her.
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Old 12-08-2002, 02:20 AM   #34
masterofNone
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Posts: 5,131
Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her.
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Old 12-30-2002, 08:46 PM   #35
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Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."
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Old 12-30-2002, 09:28 PM   #36
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"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Whatever happened to the large glowing leg-lamp hypothetically radiating "SEXSEXSEX, COME AND GET IT!!"? Billy was disappointed but quickly forgot about his minor misfortune and continued to be joyous with his large and rare Amazonian serpent...

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to thpse shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing Mr. Magi as he wond his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.
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Old 12-31-2002, 03:06 PM   #37
masterofNone
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Posts: 5,131
Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."

The silicon chip that gave Mr. Magi's cyber-bio toys the ability to pick up, and process, the emotive states of anyone within ten feet was feeding off of John's, and now Susan's growing fear.
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:19 PM   #38
wickedcanobeans
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: tucson, AZ
Posts: 50
Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."

The silicon chip that gave Mr. Magi's cyber-bio toys the ability to pick up, and process, the emotive states of anyone within ten feet was feeding off of John's, and now Susan's growing fear.

Frightened; they were all supremely frightened.
"Hehehe..." Billy gave off a little laugh: perhaps a laugh of evil achievements?? Had Billy himself been the MASTERMIND of Mr. Magi??
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:25 PM   #39
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Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."

The silicon chip that gave Mr. Magi's cyber-bio toys the ability to pick up, and process, the emotive states of anyone within ten feet was feeding off of John's, and now Susan's growing fear.

Frightened; they were all supremely frightened.
"Hehehe..." Billy gave off a little laugh: perhaps a laugh of evil achievements?? Had Billy himself been the MASTERMIND of Mr. Magi??

"Always!!!" he roared, "Always denying me Snak-Pak puddings!!!
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Old 03-08-2003, 01:10 AM   #40
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Posts: 5,131
Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery?".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."

The silicon chip that gave Mr. Magi's cyber-bio toys the ability to pick up, and process, the emotive states of anyone within ten feet was feeding off of John's, and now Susan's growing fear.

Frightened; they were all supremely frightened.
"Hehehe..." Billy gave off a little laugh: perhaps a laugh of evil achievements?? Had Billy himself been the MASTERMIND of Mr. Magi??

"Always!!!" he roared, "Always denying me Snak-Pak puddings!!!

Billy awoke with such a violent shake that his bed rocked a bit against the hardwood floor, "Such a dream!"
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Old 03-15-2003, 03:35 AM   #41
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Location: Michigan
Posts: 12
Billy's parents thought they were braced for the worst temper tantrum Billy could spoon up. Christmas isn't Christmas without the almost military assault of brainwashed ads that lure children into fits of frenzy for the latest and greatest toy. Parents everywhere dread this season, as much as they'd dread a tooth being pulled, knowing they'll have to run all over the city in an effort to score one of the season's elusive hot-ticket items.

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery?".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to those shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing "Mr. Magi!" as he wound his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.

"John, you've got to try this, " She trilled, "It seems to respond to your... wow... it seems so alive!"

"Susan, put that thing down, you're starting to scare me huney.", he ventured as he inched closer to her. As if in response to John's caution, the serpent tightened it's grip on Susan and hissed, "Back away..."

The silicon chip that gave Mr. Magi's cyber-bio toys the ability to pick up, and process, the emotive states of anyone within ten feet was feeding off of John's, and now Susan's growing fear.

Frightened; they were all supremely frightened.
"Hehehe..." Billy gave off a little laugh: perhaps a laugh of evil achievements?? Had Billy himself been the MASTERMIND of Mr. Magi??

"Always!!!" he roared, "Always denying me Snak-Pak puddings!!!

Billy awoke with such a violent shake that his bed rocked a bit against the hardwood floor, "Such a dream!"

He thought he would get up and have a peek around, just to make sure that all was well. When he slid his feet into his slippers he felt scales.
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Old 04-04-2003, 07:57 PM   #42
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But Jimmy has a pet Cyber tiger and his mom's a Morman why can't we get one too?

I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to thpse shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing Mr. Magi as he wond his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.
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Old 04-19-2003, 04:54 AM   #43
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Billy's father finished stacking the dishwasher and wandered into the living room and into the middle of an argument between his wife and son:

"But Jimmy has a pet Cyber tiger and his mom's a Morman why can't we get one too?"

"I don't think Santa can bring little boys those kinds of gifts Billy, I just dont think he's allowed to thats all.", his father diplomatically outlined.

"But, but, Jimmy's parents said santa was bringing him a Mr. Magi!", Billy whined.

"Now, Billy," she said trying to burst his bubble gently, "You know how Dad & I feel about cyber-bio toys... they're not exactly age appropriate are they?" Billy joyfully bounced up and down on his bed shouting "Mr. Magi! Mr. Magi!" until his mother gently nabbed him by the arm and wrestled him under the covers. "Time to get some sleep, mister, and I mean now!" said his mother playfully as she tucked him in, "I've heard just enough about this 'Mr. Magi!'"

"Mom?" little Billy finally managed to get out in his delicate voice, "Santa's not gonna make nasty like he did last year. . .is he?"

"That's enough questions Billy. Now snuggle down and remember, Santa won't come if you're awake".

Billy slept uneasily that night, but troubled dreams of slippery creatures were forgotten in a flash the moment the sun burst through his window -- he opened his eyes and the long night was gone forever.

At six AM sharp, Billy rocketed out of bed, ran past the room where his mild-mannered schoolteacher parents slept, and skidded to a slippery halt on his footie-pajama feet in front of the Christmas tree. He was so excited to see what Santa had brought, and prayed hard as he bent over the gigantic box that proudly bore his name. Billy wrestled the cover off and examined it in detail.

He hadn't expected it to be quite so large. He had been led to believe he would be receiving a small one, maybe even two small ones, but certainly not one twice as big. Yes, inside the crate was the largest rare Amazonian tufted serpent he'd ever seen.

Quietly in their bed, Billy's parents listened for the happy laughter they always heard from the living room on Christmas morning, when they knew Billy had discovered what Santa Claus had brought him. Little did they know, Santa hadn't brought the thousand-piece lincoln log set that they had requested for their son.

Billy reached in and felt the dry silkiness of its scales as it wrapped around his forearm and tightened. The snake gazed up at him -- the characteristic tuft of hair spiking jauntily from between its yellow eyes -- and said: "Howdy."

Billy couldn't believe his luck. Billy had only had one pet before, a silly looking duck that didn't say cool things like "Howdy"; the duck only spoke in haiku right up to the day he was eaten by a crocodile.

Holding the rainbow colored serpent up to the hundreds of tiny christmas tree lights Billy could just make out the manufacturer, "Mr. Magi's Magnificent Menagery™".

"Wow" he thought, "now I'll really be able to fix those rude bullies at school!"

Yawning and stretching lazily, Mom appeared in the doorway. Unable at first to digest the image of Billy with a six-foot snake twining languidly across his narrow shoulders, she thought he was playing with her rainbow-colored scarf from last year's Mardi Gras parade.

"NO! It can't be!" Mom cried.

Upstairs, Billy's father had just slid out of bed and was thinking how comfortable his bunny slippers were when his wife's shriek echoed through the house. "Oh crap" he thought "What's the matter with her now?" He just could not get used to thpse shrieks, it was like an ax into his skull and it was way too early in the morning for that. He stumbled downstairs only to find his wife cooing Mr. Magi as he wond his way up her smooth arm.

The cyber-creature's tail had slipped decidedly south and Billy's mother's initial fear and subsequent cooing now turned into loving purrs as the serpent continued its amorous twistings; Billy and his father looked on, horrified.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. -Milton
The advantage of emotions is they lead us astray - Wilde
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves - Parker
I'm a good kisser and you're a fast learner and that kinda thing could float us for a pretty long time - DiFranco
Why wouldst thou be a breeder... - Shakespeare
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