Board Dynamics

[craig johnston]

yeah it's appreciated clytie.
sometimes it's just too tempting to pull your leg.
it's always without malice though.

[priceyfatprude]

Originally Posted by Coffee

But silence about the issue just gives tacit approval of the behavior.

I'm not picking on you, Coffee. I have too much personal respect and admiration for you to do that.

But this same sentence has been said more than once here & I don't necessarily think it's true.

Sometimes it's not worth it to get into it w/someone, if they post something you don't like or do not agree with. You're not sure if a thread is just a game between the posters that you were not invited to, or what.

I'd like to remind everyone of a night a certain shadow puppet pulled up & had an argument w/me in a thread. The only one who came to my defense was NYC. She did not know the thread had turned into a game for the puppet & I, but then, neither did the rest of you. *shrugs* Just sayin'.

In the Debate Hall, that's different. I would like to think everyone knows that we say what WE feel, at the time, and we mean what WE say, at that time & not everyone has to agree on everything & that's the end of it. What a boring world this would be w/o a little diversity.

It would be nice if we could respect each other's differing opinions, but when it comes to something I'm not comfortable with, well then I just can't. Akin to someone thinking it's ok to abuse animals & me thinking that it's not: I don't think I should have to respect the differing opinion in this case, b/c it's cruel & inhumane. I can see how some people could feel that way about ALL differing opinions & I guess that's their right. But what a bleak world they must live in. I personally enjoy when someone has succeeded in getting me to see their point of view, but that doesn't mean I will then agree w/that person.

I generally only speak up when I have a visceral, "I do not agree, and feel the need now to say something about it." reaction. It takes quite a bit to piss me off, but once you're there, look. Out.

As for things that have happened here this week, or every 6 months, really: remember, there are 2 sides to every story. Carrying the wreckage through several threads for several days does nothing but prolong the drama, and irritate those who winced at it the first time it was posted, and sort of tells the other person's side w/o them having to post a single word.

[venusupnorth]

I've not really said much about my opinions on this matter because it will probably start another party for the people on here that get a kick out of bashing people. What I said has spoken for itself and a few good people on here have gone out of their way to justify it, I did this to warn other people on here, not to improve my popularity points or high opinions of people that go around this board calling newcomers c*nt, d*ck, etc. Getting threatening mail and having shadow puppets send me cruel comments on MYSPace (that started a while ago actually) only goes to show that I must be doing something that is bringing out the worst in these freaks, yes Freaks; only a freak goes around threatening people like that. This is a public board and like a few people have said on here there are alot of members and ofcource we're not going to like everyone, that's life deal with it.

P.S. the shadow puppets that try to PM me on here or e-mail me at my hotmail get a step by step instruction on how to program in PHP, if you're this bored I might be able to interest you in learning something new. I even have instructions on how to learn color theory through Photoshop, anything to help you get some healthy interests going

[Gatsby]

Originally Posted by priceyfatprude

Sometimes it's not worth it to get into it w/someone, if they post something you don't like or do not agree with.

I'm with Pricey on this one. On this board, silence isn't always tacit approval.

On this board, when things start to go wrong, they get ugly very, very fast. Things get nasty and personal and all in public.

I think the root of this is that it's a public board with relatively relaxed moderators, so everyone feels "entitled" to be here, and "entitled" to post whatever they'd like. When someone's feeling of entitlement is undermined, people take it personally. And they strike back in nasty, inappropriate, over the top ways.

It often takes serious restraint on my part to not tell people exactly what I think of their shenanigans. Often, in my own opinion, I have some worthwhile things to add to the fray (my own sense of entitlement). However, I rarely get involved, because I know it will, almost without fail, result in a personal attack on ME, and an assumption that I've joined one-side-or-another.

This, of course, is never true - I try hard not to join sides in a personal argument. I restrict my proselytizing to politics and the Debate Hall. Because pointing out someone else's asinine behavior, no matter how egregious it is, will automatically make you a "drama queen" on this board, one of the ones who're labeled "the first to show up in a controversy." F**k that.

Jezis gawd, if there were two things I wish people on this board would learn, it would be (1) how to give constructive criticism that isn't an attack; and (2) the value of ACCEPTING constructive criticism, and REALIZING that it isn't an attack. Oh, and let me add a third: KEEPING IT OFF BOARD.

This board is a COMMUNITY, and public frays between members affects us all. We're all entitled to be here, and, as a corollary we're NOT entitled to run everyone (or anyone) else off, either directly or through passive-agressive posting. Keep it to your PMs, please, because the rest of us don't want our nice friendly threads soiled with it.

The End.

[trisherina]

Oh, yes Venus, true true, we are totally at a loss when it comes to your opinions on this matter; you've been so terribly circumspect and self-effacing.

Speaking for myself in terms of the "silence = tacit approval:" BULLSHIT. If I am silent, in face to face interactions as well as message board ones, it might mean any and all of the following:

- I am too horrified to say anything
- I am falling off my chair laughing, and unable to communicate
- I strongly disagree, but don't feel like devoting hours of my free time to a fruitless argument
- I strongly agree... see above
- My brain chemistry has been altered such that I cannot form a coherent thought
- I assume people are adults for just this one rash moment, and decide they can fight for themselves
- I don't give a flying ****
- My GI is giving me trouble, and there just won't be time for a long discussion
- I am trying to remember where I left the weapons keys, and not paying much attention
- There is an elk outside the window

You get the idea. I think.

[Zaftig]

Originally Posted by venusupnorth

Getting threatening mail and having shadow puppets send me cruel comments on MYSPace

You can chose to not receive emails from members of the site . . and uhm. . hello, the ignore list. Your just chosing to allow people in your space. If you find it all so intrusive then stop handing the key to your house out to everyone because it sounds like you view every single word said to you as a personal attack.

It comes in handy.

[venusupnorth]

Zaftig I do block people on here I'm talking about my personal e-mails I was dumb enough like you said to leave that information on here when I joined this place. I really didn't think grown people would resort to sending me nasty comments on my personal e-mail, that started a while ago actually. I've learned my lesson though and kind of see what this place can be about. There are alot of good people on here though which makes it worth sticking around

[craig johnston]

eeerm, just wondering, but has anyone else had this experience?
cos i've had a few run ins with folks here (unbelievable, i know)
but no one has ever sent me a nasty email or pm.
am i the odd one out here or.....

[Simage]

Zaftig I do block people on here I'm talking about my personal e-mails

just filter them right to trash. add a couple known domains / addresses to a whitelist, grey list everything else, and blacklist people you know you don't want to talk to. communication requires two willing parties... one to send the information and one to recieve. if you don't fulfill your role in that procesas communication doesn't happen. you don't want to talk to someone ... don't, I don't know how many peoples posts I just skip over, not so much here, but on a couple other boars where we've had problems. you see a post from someone... you scroll it off the screen, don't even bother reading it.. posting a public email address is not a bad thing, mine exists out there a lot more than I would have thought, thats what happens when you become fairly active online, I google my email address and I get 121 hits right off the bat (suprised its that few) on my primary accountit doesn't take much for anyone here to to tie me to an address, quite possibly even a physical address (haven't checked lately , know I used to be able to before we moved). its no different than having your phone number in the phone book, or giving the bank or power company a mailing address. it can leak, very easily. mastercard alone just had 40 million accounts breached, if I understood correctly , names, addresses, SSN/SIN's, phone numbers, and in some cases bank account numbers were lost and are now out there floating around. no one can expect complete privacy in this life anymore (unless you become a tibetan monk) all we can do is try to maintain as much of it as possible, and learn to deal with the intrusions that will occur.

[venusupnorth]

Originally Posted by craig johnston

eeerm, just wondering, but has anyone else had this experience?
cos i've had a few run ins with folks here (unbelievable, i know)
but no one has ever sent me a nasty email or pm.
am i the odd one out here or.....

It does seem strange Craig and that is why I mentioned it. In a way it's funny that someone is doing this but also sad. And I did not say I received a nasty PM on here??? Where did I say that? I was talking about my e-mail and My Space profile.

It's true Simage it's scary what comes up when you type in your e-mail or full name, stuff you wouldn't even have thought was connected to you.

What I did is not the worst thing that has ever happened on here and won't be the last mistake someone makes. The name I posted is not his real name so I'm sure he's safe out there in the World. It does hurt to know that people are going out of their way to post negative comments after I post something on here and to have gone through old threads and seeing how many people have been driven out of here by this mental abuse that is acceptable on this board. Also the fact that a large majority of these Moderators are the ones leading this on, kind of like a mental lynching. And you can't block the moderators, what's up with that? Anyway this has been an experience

[Gatsby]

Originally Posted by venusupnorth

And you can't block the moderators, what's up with that?

The moderators are GOD mwahahahahahaha.

*laughs uncontrollably and hysterically*

Speaking of which, I haven't seen God around here for a while.

God? Are you out there?

[NimbleMarmoset]

he's been crashing at my place. Shhhhh. . . . he's taking a nappie.

[amanda]

trish, I hope you don't mind, but for one brief moment, I would like to make your post my sig.

Originally Posted by trisherina

Speaking for myself in terms of the "silence = tacit approval:" BULLSHIT. If I am silent, in face to face interactions as well as message board ones, it might mean any and all of the following:

- I am too horrified to say anything
- I am falling off my chair laughing, and unable to communicate
- I strongly disagree, but don't feel like devoting hours of my free time to a fruitless argument
- I strongly agree... see above
- My brain chemistry has been altered such that I cannot form a coherent thought
- I assume people are adults for just this one rash moment, and decide they can fight for themselves
- I don't give a flying ****
- My GI is giving me trouble, and there just won't be time for a long discussion
- I am trying to remember where I left the weapons keys, and not paying much attention
- There is an elk outside the window

You get the idea. I think.

ahhh... thank you.

[bealeblues]

That you would still drink and go party with "some" work colleagues doesnt mean you enjoy your normal work day. And that could be becuase of the forced interaction with people you dont get along with.

very well put, goddamn british.

and as far as silence being tacit approval, i also disagree with that. i very rarely ever say anything i think during board disagreements. i intentionally do this because it's very rare that i will have the benefit of knowing all sides to a particular dispute. in those cases, i just let the shit fall out and stay in switzerland

[zenbabe]

Originally Posted by trisherina

While I sympathize, Aud, I have seen zero and fodder and a number of other people be on the receiving end of mocking, baiting, and name-calling. I haven't been able to entirely avoid it myself.

Yeah, but it is zero and fodder!


hahahahahhaha.....