04-24-2008, 03:40 PM
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#31 |
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ª ★ ª
Join Date: May 2004
Location: lª m°°n
Posts: 13,853
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two words: no sugar
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04-24-2008, 04:00 PM
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#32 |
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oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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No sugar, eh?
In hell to have sex you have to fill in a form, have it signed by seven city officials, get a stamp of approval from the mayor with a number on it, then you go to a waiting room with a counter*. You wait for ages for your number (no pun intended), but when it finally appears the counter always jumps by one more digit. *confusingly set to binary numbers |
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04-25-2008, 01:15 PM
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#33 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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In hell, you can have sex anytime you want with whoever you want, but no one ever pays any attention to you no matter what.
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04-30-2008, 02:22 AM
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#34 |
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constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
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In hell, the bus you need to catch is always leaving when you're half a block away.
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. |
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04-30-2008, 02:32 AM
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#35 |
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earth worker
Join Date: May 2006
Location: on the planet
Posts: 5,844
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in hell, you have constant annoying crusty boogers, and you're made to wear mittens so you can't pick your nose.
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04-30-2008, 02:38 AM
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#36 |
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constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
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In hell, everyone's just a little deaf and you have to repeat everything you say at least twice to make yourself understood.
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. |
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04-30-2008, 12:43 PM
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#37 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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In hell we always have a hangnail on our index fingers.
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04-30-2008, 02:07 PM
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#38 |
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Cheeses Save
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
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In hell it is possible to regulate any industry's prices except for the industry that the president of hell has a financial interest in.
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04-30-2008, 02:58 PM
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#39 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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In hell, the only bathroom is always occupied whenever you need to use it.
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04-30-2008, 03:07 PM
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#40 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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In hell, our shampoo and our pancake syrup are indistinguishable.
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04-30-2008, 03:28 PM
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#41 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell you can never find the staple-eater except when you're looking for the stapler, and if you've just seen the stapler you're looking for, all you can find is the staple-eater.
Especially when you're in a hurry.
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-30-2008, 05:48 PM
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#42 |
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earth worker
Join Date: May 2006
Location: on the planet
Posts: 5,844
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in hell, you have to cold call.
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04-30-2008, 11:17 PM
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#43 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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In hell, all the cats are Siamese.
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05-01-2008, 09:31 AM
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#44 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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In hell, Muzak is piped in everywhere nonstop.
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05-01-2008, 10:55 AM
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#45 |
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ª ★ ª
Join Date: May 2004
Location: lª m°°n
Posts: 13,853
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hell:it's a bulletin board
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