ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > DEBATE HALL
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 11 votes, 5.00 average. Display Modes
Old 09-17-2004, 03:26 PM   #1
Willow Sylph
monkey
 
Willow Sylph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,608
12 REASONS WHY HOMOSEXUALS SHOULDN'T MARRY

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can`t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears` 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn`t changed at all; women are property, blacks can`t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That`s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That`s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven`t adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
__________________
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say "Ni".
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh....
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say.... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"
Willow Sylph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 08:09 PM   #2
rapscalious rob
 
Posts: n/a
Those are great! Where did you get that?
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 08:19 PM   #3
Willow Sylph
monkey
 
Willow Sylph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,608
A friend of mine passed it on to me. When I first saw the title, I was p*ssed until I started reading it.
__________________
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say "Ni".
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh....
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say.... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"
Willow Sylph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 08:22 PM   #4
Spicy Jack
Brains! Brains!
 
Spicy Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: behind you
Posts: 4,535
It is a cute play on ideas, but this list is comparing apples and oranges. It is a play on logic. Basically you can use the same kind of argument to prove just the opposite or just about anything for that matter.
Spicy Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 08:25 PM   #5
Willow Sylph
monkey
 
Willow Sylph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,608
I think it makes some valid points, though.
__________________
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say "Ni".
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh....
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say.... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"
Willow Sylph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 08:37 PM   #6
Spicy Jack
Brains! Brains!
 
Spicy Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: behind you
Posts: 4,535
It would be like saying:

If it's 1:00 p.m., then it's after noon.
It's not 1:00 p.m. So, it's not after noon.
Spicy Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 10:54 PM   #7
rapscalious rob
 
Posts: n/a
Good point.

I keep forgetting this is a debate hall
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2004, 11:46 PM   #8
Willow Sylph
monkey
 
Willow Sylph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,608
Spice - I'll agree with you on some of the points, but not all of them. Some of them make perfectly logical sense. Either way, ALL of them make AT LEAST as much sense as some people's arguement as to why gays shouldn't be able to get married.
__________________
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say "Ni".
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh....
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say.... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"
Willow Sylph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2004, 12:53 AM   #9
zenbabe
Lollypop!
 
zenbabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: we are all made of stars
Posts: 11,690
why couldn't I have been Britney Spears!!!!!
__________________
Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.

-Dr. Seuss
zenbabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2004, 02:03 AM   #10
priceyfatprude
girthy pickles
 
priceyfatprude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: under your desk
Posts: 9,313
Talking

LOVED IT.
priceyfatprude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2004, 02:10 AM   #11
joppa.gal
monkey
 
joppa.gal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 615
Quote:
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
I've heard that argument a lot. Although a bit toned down more, since I come from a right wing Christian background.

Seems to me that marriage really isn't that sacred any more heterosexually as a society. It seems to be now more on a case by case basis that people take relationships seriously or not so much.

It was simpler times when "the ruler" was the Bible and people judged by absolute black and white standards. Now that America is all-inclusive, who is to say that one man's way is correct and another is wrong?

*My* people mean well when they try to take things back to times when the *ruler* was only two-dimensional, but we've gone into the third, fourth, and sixth dimension here.

There is no way to turn back the hands of time. Someone has a sig that says a mind cannot return to the same dimensions once it has been stretched beyond it's limits.

I fully agree.
joppa.gal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2004, 02:14 AM   #12
Hyakujo's Fox
left hanging
 
Hyakujo's Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream
Posts: 10,071
Quote:
Originally posted by Spicy Jack
It is a cute play on ideas, but this list is comparing apples and oranges. It is a play on logic. Basically you can use the same kind of argument to prove just the opposite or just about anything for that matter.
Quote:
Originally posted by Willow Sylph
I think it makes some valid points, though.
ummm, I believe it's meant to be a parody throughout.
Hyakujo's Fox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2006, 09:04 PM   #13
wearentproperty
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1
Wink you are a complete moron.

dear mr. stupid idiot.
i would like you to know that women aren't property and if you think that you are again, a complete moron.
and shouldn't be allowed on a computer or to have a life because you are just that stupid.
HAVE A NICE DAY :]
wearentproperty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2006, 09:59 PM   #14
Jack Flanders
landscaping is fun
 
Jack Flanders's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: up river and down river
Posts: 4,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by zenbabe
why couldn't I have been Britney Spears!!!!!

and then you could be married to Kevin F.!!!!
Jack Flanders is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 09:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.