04-21-2008, 11:03 AM
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#1 |
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ª ★ ª
Join Date: May 2004
Location: lª m°°n
Posts: 13,853
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★ our subtle torments in hell ★
in hell, our sock elasticity is eternally untaut. every 30 paces we are compelled to take our shoes off to resolve the aggressively bunched mess under our feet. |
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04-21-2008, 11:41 AM
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#2 |
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earth worker
Join Date: May 2006
Location: on the planet
Posts: 5,844
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in hell, our eyelashes are constantly falling out and dropping into our eyes. |
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04-21-2008, 12:07 PM
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#4 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell we're frying bacon naked.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-21-2008, 12:22 PM
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#5 |
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oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,208
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In hell there's constant gnashing of teeth because various pieces of food (e.g. from fried bacon rind) get stuck between them and refuse to come unstuck. People gnash their theeth until they are all worn down and hurt. Oh, and there's no dentist to fix them. (Busy doing some fixing in heaven)
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04-21-2008, 01:54 PM
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#6 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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In hell every negotiated and final contract must be submitted to Legal for approval.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-21-2008, 02:10 PM
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#7 |
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ª ★ ª
Join Date: May 2004
Location: lª m°°n
Posts: 13,853
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daily, we are taken to play with puppies and kittens. but they are ugly and lethargic ones, and have coarse fur and surly dispositions.
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04-21-2008, 02:11 PM
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#8 |
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Cheeses Save
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
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In hell public servants are elected based on their character and looks, rather than their knowledge of refrigeration.
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04-21-2008, 02:19 PM
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#9 |
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waaaaaaa :)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Berlin
Posts: 3,875
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In hell tea water never gets hot enough due to a strange thermodynamical phenomenon.
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04-21-2008, 04:57 PM
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#10 |
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98.4% monkey
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: bummed out city
Posts: 634
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In hell, the only toilet paper that's ever available is the very last square on the roll.
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04-21-2008, 07:16 PM
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#11 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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In hell, our only mental muzak is the soundtrack from "Baby Einstein: Baby's First Moves."
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04-21-2008, 07:17 PM
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#12 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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...and all the toothpaste is labeled "fresh green tea vanilla flavor!" but it really tastes vaguely of carboard airfreshener and chalk.
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04-22-2008, 12:13 AM
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#13 |
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meretricious dilettante
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
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In Hell, all you get to read is poetry written by angsty 14 year olds with poor spelling.
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Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard |
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04-22-2008, 03:13 AM
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#14 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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All the bananas in hell are just slightly overripe, and every bowl of cereal has precisely one bit that looks as though it could be a piece of insect wing. We're never sure.
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04-22-2008, 04:18 AM
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#15 |
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n
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,752
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in hell, you’re not allowed to save or back up
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