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Old 07-28-2007, 03:09 AM   #16
Anna
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If you concentrate hard enough, you will bend that spoon.
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Old 07-28-2007, 03:20 AM   #17
l'azizza
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I must walk around the house five times clockwise and ten times counterclockwise each time I leave or my family will die.
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:37 AM   #18
Marcus Bales
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If you read trash magazines for free in the supermarket checkout line then you'll either go bald or get fat or both.
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Old 07-30-2007, 01:34 PM   #19
daverbee
Key Lime Pie rocks!!!
 
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If you put your shoes and socks on in the same order every time your feet will never stink.
I'm living proof.
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Time is essential because without it everything would happen all at once.
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Old 07-30-2007, 01:41 PM   #20
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Seeing a picture of a person and exchanging text messages with them over the internet can give you good idea of what that person is like in real life.
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:01 PM   #21
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Some people think you're supposed to smoosh down your grilled cheese sandwich in the pan or on the grill -- not so! If you smoosh them down, the small gods of the air who love the warmth in the toasty bread will not enter your body to fight off cancer. So don't smoosh down your grilled cheese sandwiches!
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:07 PM   #22
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^ how can this be

i always smoosh my GCS...
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:57 PM   #23
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^ Welp, you'd better be keeping the bathtub pretty clean with Comet, then, so that the chlorine keeps your sinuses clear of all the pre-cancerous cells.
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Old 07-31-2007, 04:56 AM   #24
Odbe
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And don't clean it with a cheap imitation, some of those cheap cleaners actually have cancer cells in them.
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Old 07-31-2007, 09:21 AM   #25
Marcus Bales
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That's right. Remember the classic words to Colonel Bogey's March:

Comet! It makes your mouth so clean,
Comet! It tastes like Listerine
Comet! It makes you vomit
So get some Comet and vomit today!
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:55 AM   #26
Capella
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If you do not look at the roaches, or make any eye contact with them, they will not be compelled to jump/attack, thus you have enough time to get to a roach spray safely.
Same goes for wasps and bees, by the way.

If you look at the flying insect - it WILL sting.
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:59 AM   #27
Marcus Bales
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If you announce a dive in the tuck position and then do it in pike because you didn't get up high enough even if you rip it anyway it doesn't count toward pizza points.
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Old 07-31-2007, 11:01 AM   #28
Capella
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If the food smells ok, then it IS ok to eat. You nose would pick up ANY potential matter decay, even if there was a smallest amount of disintegration, because your nose is an amazing organ.
So if it smells ok, no matter how old - by all means eat it.
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Old 07-31-2007, 11:03 AM   #29
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If you stare at a piece of art on the wall of a museum for more than five minutes people will think you're an art expert, and will pay you to give them tours.
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Old 07-31-2007, 11:07 AM   #30
Capella
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It's your duty and privilege in life to make sure that your music tastes are indoctrinated unto everyone you meet. In fact, buy an iPod, and make sure to give your music selection to everyone you know, because you KNOW they need to be exposed to a higher form of musical arts than the crap they are listening to now.
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