ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > FAST CHAT
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 09-18-2006, 01:52 PM   #16
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
Poof! Granted. You now enjoy it so much that you neglect to do anything else, and become quite boring at cocktail parties with your endless tales of dusting adventures. Soon you lose your job, and despair of nothing more to dust, so you begin accumulating cats and dogs in order to generate more dust and dander. After discovering that you can lightly vacuum each animal each day before they shed their dander and fur, you look for ever greater challenges. Your sphere of desire so expands to include the dusty plains of Lubbock, Texas, where you feel compelled to move the entire brood and escape your creditors. There you dwell in dusting heaven, surrounded by Republicans and various cow-tipping idiots - penniless with your starving animals that you cannot afford to take care of. Because people in Lubbock have little tolerance for those who are "different," eventually you are committed and lobotomized, and the pets are sold to various product-testing labs.

I wish that my drug-addled neighbor had not cut down 7 plum trees and built a solid, 15-foot cement wall across half of my back property line, and then sold the house before replacing my nice wooden fence he'd destroyed in the process.
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.

Last edited by Brynn : 09-18-2006 at 01:57 PM.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 02:16 PM   #17
AllegroNg
What I Am Wearing.
 
AllegroNg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Near DC
Posts: 2,573
And you shall enjoy dusting. The dust is so flattered.. the whole army of dust decides to begin "ambo-ing" and they enjoy it quite much..

I wish for world peace (?) Nevermind.. scratch that..

Last edited by AllegroNg : 09-18-2006 at 02:17 PM. Reason: Oops.. beat me to the punch (or just beat me;))
AllegroNg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 02:30 PM   #18
Brynn
constantly amazed
 
Brynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
funny, I started to wish for world peace, but didn't want it to go wrong once I got my wish
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
Brynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 02:37 PM   #19
trisherina
meretricious dilettante
 
trisherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
The plum trees and the wooden fence are restored, POOF! The drug-addled neighbour turns out to be Osama bin Laden, disguised and hiding in plain sight. He confides in you over the fence after one too many puffs on the hookah, and the two of you hatch a fiendishly clever plan in which the donation of plums unites all world religions and political ideologies. A lengthy Pax Brynnicana results.

I wish I could play a musical instrument.
trisherina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 03:05 PM   #20
Coffee
Cheeses Save
 
Coffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
Poof!
Trisherina, you are now master of both Bagpipe and Accordian...unfortunately everyone around you now wishes you could NOT play a musical instrument...Poof! Everyone around gets their wishes too, and...I hope you enjoyed your brief musical carreer.

I wish I had a huge art job windfall and could pay off my boat/office loan in one glorious payment.
Coffee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 03:24 PM   #21
dinzdale
King of the patns
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
Check you inbox Coffee, and there is an e-mail from Time magazine, who, by coincidence need help printing the word TIME very cleverly behind people's heads on cover photographs. The pay's not much amounting to a boat/office payment, but probably worth a shot eh?



I wish to I could say out loud what my head screams at times, without getting sacked, arrested or treatment for Tourette's.
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 04:00 PM   #22
auntie aubrey
excursions
 
auntie aubrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: beyond the call of duty
Posts: 2,443
*poof!* apathy sweeps the nation! no longer do words and phrases offend. nor do gestures, facial expressions, or any degree of body language. life as we know it grinds to a halt as everyone simultaneously decides to mind their own business and blow off outside opinions.


i wish i had unlimited free access to the health and beauty product section at the local walgreens.
__________________
that dog won't hunt, monsignor
auntie aubrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 04:43 PM   #23
Coffee
Cheeses Save
 
Coffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
Poof!
You are now a small rat living underneath your local Walgreens. You have free and unlimited access to any section of the store, although it will be safer once the people have left for the night...so long as you avoid the traps set out for you.


I wish I could eat anything I want, without getting a stomach ache.
Coffee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2006, 08:47 AM   #24
zero
 
zero's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: l mn
Posts: 13,853

hooray! your tendency to bellyache goes away and you get a happy in fact so do we all especially when you then endlessly munch pork pies and gain 70kg (mainly around the arse area) which causes hippie daze to capsize and sink before ever having left the quayside leaving no trace on the surface apart from air bubbles some self-timed pervy polaroids and an obviously homemade sou'wester hat






i wish i there was a giant redwood in my garden
zero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2006, 09:44 AM   #25
auntie aubrey
excursions
 
auntie aubrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: beyond the call of duty
Posts: 2,443
shazam! a giant redwood appears in your garden. unfortunately this draws the attention of one of the 80s' most hideous contributions to the world of video music television, and you soon discover that randy of the redwoods has camped out on your lawn and refuses to leave. oversized glasses, unfunny hippie references and all. an attempt to remove mr. of the redwoods proves unsuccessful when you discover that, like redwoods themselves, randy is a revered and protected rare species whose interests must be protected at all costs.



i wish i could get this imogen heap song out of my head.
__________________
that dog won't hunt, monsignor
auntie aubrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2006, 12:08 PM   #26
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
ABRACADABRA!
Heap song gone. Replaced by Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head". Na na na, na na-na NA na...

I wish I could instantly transport myself anywhere I wished, like, for example, work.
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2006, 02:05 PM   #27
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
So this is an impossible wish to grant? Good grief. It's the 21st century.
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2006, 04:20 PM   #28
trisherina
meretricious dilettante
 
trisherina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,068
You step out the front door and POOF! your sisal welcome mat has turned into a magic carpet that transports you by mere thought wherever you want to go, and makes happy chitchat all the while. You are enchanted by this until you start noticing that all of the inanimate objects in your home are animating themselves, one by one, teapots and corkscrews and kitty litter boxes, and that each and every one of them wants to chitchat while it does its thing, and of course they won't chitchat with each other, only with YOU, so after a while the din gets deafening and you can't sleep anymore, and you spend Christmas morning screeching at a goblet that won't stop harping on the relative attributes of each one of the latest American Idol contenders.

I wish someone else could give my lecture Monday.
trisherina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2006, 04:49 PM   #29
auntie aubrey
excursions
 
auntie aubrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: beyond the call of duty
Posts: 2,443
fortunately, someone just volunteered to give your lecture for you on monday. unfortunately, you won't find out until tuesday morning that your guest lecturer is a raving lunatic who will deviate so far from your notes that the audience will walk away thinking they'd sat in on a dissertation titled "vegetable footware and the haunting, lingering spirits that live inside my cufflinks."

i wish i'd known 7 hours ago that there's a stain on my shirt.
__________________
that dog won't hunt, monsignor
auntie aubrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2006, 05:27 PM   #30
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
wwhhhoooOOOSHHH! Back in time you go, seven hours to be exact, upon which you are granted with such heightened powers of observation that not only do you notice the stain on your shirt, but also the old dust collected on your windowpane, the small bits of detritus on your bathroom sink and floor, the unevenness of the length of your fingernails, the fact that your hair is exactly 1/128ths of an inch puffier than you would optimally keep it, the small organisms living (benignly) on your skin, and other things you wouldn't ordinarily notice but now scream for your attention. You become overwhelmed and paralyzed, unable to do any one thing for not knowing what to attend to next. Eventually you're shipped off to a sanitarium and placed on intravenous feeding tubes due to your lack of interest in anything but the fact that one of your feet is slightly larger than the other.

I wish I found it easy to be diligent practicing daily.
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 08:20 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.