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Old 11-11-2008, 09:28 PM   #256
Brynn
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Self-censorship stifles creativity
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 11-24-2008, 02:00 PM   #257
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Exclamation

The slower you drive, the less chance you'll end up in a car accident.
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Old 11-24-2008, 03:22 PM   #258
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Nothing succeeds like excess.
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Old 11-24-2008, 03:22 PM   #259
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Nothing exceeds like success.
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Old 11-24-2008, 03:37 PM   #260
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oi
 
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I would never do that.
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Old 06-05-2009, 01:48 AM   #261
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You know who you are.
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Old 06-05-2009, 02:32 AM   #262
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If they knew who they were, they'd know better.
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My strength is as the strength of eight --
My heart is nearly pure.
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Old 06-09-2009, 04:28 PM   #263
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You, a chaise longue, and a faux regimental tie made of hummingbird feathers.
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Old 06-10-2009, 11:46 AM   #264
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Superman never uses viagra.
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Old 06-10-2009, 01:49 PM   #265
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Superman has been known to accidentally leave his fingerprints in steel and concrete. During sex, he may not have full control of his body and might apply too much force crushing his partner. Further, Superman would likely ejaculate with lethal velocity, since all of his muscles are many times stronger than a human's.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:27 AM   #266
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Superman wears his underwear on the outside due to a very severe case of BPH, which may also explain why he moves faster than a speeding bullet.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:15 PM   #267
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People are really interested in the issues surrounding postmodernist free verse.
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:59 PM   #268
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Superman always suffered from a superiority complex.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:30 PM   #269
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"Don' Nobody Wonda Where Clark Kent Went?" would make a great reggae song title. (cue Wayne Brady)
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Old 08-24-2009, 03:31 AM   #270
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If your new cell phone is a touch-sensitive abomination that beeps incessantly whenever you put it in your pocket from screen contact with your body heat as it tries to check email or take a photo or change the baby's diaper, just chuck it against the nearest wall and return the pieces COD -- they'll understand, and send you a phone that does nothing but MAKE FREAKING PHONE CALLS.
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