Letters that get me through the day. - Page 74 - ZEFRANK.COM

LeahDear · 06-19-2006, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasmina

I'm not going to go into the "red alert" type area.
I think you all know what I mean.
Nasty nasty nasty. Girls, clean it up! Ugh.

Yeah! What's that all about??? Why do they do it?

My first ever saturday job was waitressing at a local cafe... My cow of a boss told me to go clean out the ladies as someone had made a mess.. I trooped downstairs with a mop & bucket and was expecting some pee on the floor or at worst some poop.. I can just about deal with that.. but no.. some stupid girl had made the cubicle look like the shower scene in psycho!!! I refused point blank to clean it up... needless to say it was also my last day at that particular job.

priceyfatprude · 06-22-2006, 12:58 AM

Dear New Guy:

You are dumb. Dumb for posting your first & last name on a public message board. Dumb for not realizing anyone with a brain who might want to **** you will pull up Wisconsin Circuit Court's website & plug your name into the search engine. The misdemeanor from 12 years ago is quite loverly, it explains why your life hasn't gone anywhere, and why you aren't ready for this jelly.

You are also dumb for not remembering when my birthday was the ****ing first time I told you. If you really wanted to get into my pants, that would've been the way to go. Moron.

-A

Dear Guy In The Dairy Queen Eating Dinner W/His BabyMomma & 2 Children, One Less Than A Year Old,

Stop staring at me. Yes, they are real. No, you cannot touch them. Yes, I look cute, 2 friends & I decided to move Girls Nite Out to the DQ after dinner.

But I don't even know you.

Your babymomma? She knows you. And, she must like you. I mean, she ****ed you. At least twice.

And to stare at me while you're out with her? Tacky, cheap, and disrespectful. To her. I don't care if you're disrespectful to me, I don't even know you. But I will tell you one thing, it doesn't make me think you're sexy or cool. ****er.

-Redfeathered Double Breasted Bed Thrasher

madasacutsnake · 08-15-2006, 06:41 PM

Dear G,

When you are trying to blame something for which you are responsible on others, and I walk away having loudly announced that I am looking for Ratsak, the appropriate response is not,

"Why are you looking for Ratsak?"

as then I am forced to answer,

"Because we have a rat problem"

Also, the best thing to do at this point is to Let Go and Move On, not ask me and any-one else who will listen "so where is the rat?". You are really only providing a source of ready entertainment for the staff and we have plenty of mad old people who already suit that purpose.

Snake
xxx

PS The annual leave you wanted in September? Won't be a problem.............

smellyrayzin · 08-15-2006, 07:27 PM

For: those about to rock

I salute you.

From: Sue

priceyfatprude · 08-28-2006, 03:54 PM

Dear Pringles CheezUms,

It's not you, it's me.

I haven't had you since 1987 when you first came out. I forgot about your cheesy goodness.

So when I saw you across a crowded gas station, I thought, Why not? I knew you'd go perfectly with the cheese & tomato sandwich I'd just made. And you did. You really really did.

But this 2 cans a week habit has got to stop. Please stop being so salty & yummy? Please?

Sincerely,

Peef

ShopaholicChick · 08-28-2006, 06:40 PM

dr papa smurf
isn't this the smurfiest?!?!?!

ambo · 08-31-2006, 01:22 AM

dear ken,
stop spamming this forum, or i'll get malibu barbie to run you over with her corvette.

Jack Flanders · 08-31-2006, 01:48 AM

Dear person who keeps on hanging up on my phone answering machine,

Thank you for hanging up. I don't want to talk to to you either.

XXOO, Me

P.S. GTH!!!!

madasacutsnake · 08-31-2006, 03:56 AM

Dear Qantas,

Why is it necessary to schedule a flight to leave at 2030? Nine hours later is 0530. Which means first off I have to attempt to sleep on a plane. It's just wrong. Secondly, it means that I arrive at 0900 local time. Which, as any jet-lagged traveller will tell you, truly sucks, as your hotel won't let you get into your precious bed until the previous occupants are out of it. What makes this whole deable worse is that if you were to schedule your flight at the very civilised time of say 0900, I would arrive at 6pm my time, refreshed after a day of snacking and movie watching, and the local time would be about 1030pm - just in time to fall into my assuredly unoccupied hotel bed.

FFS if I can see this why can't you? Night flights should be taken out the back and shot.

Snake (who Does Not Travel Well)

Hyakujo's Fox · 08-31-2006, 08:10 AM

snake on a plane!

AllegroNg · 08-31-2006, 09:38 AM

Dearest Cat,
Thank you for the dead bird. I already had breakfast. Plus you already ate half of the poor thing. Next time maybe you should bring something we could both use.. like money..
Heart,
Ng

auntie aubrey · 09-13-2006, 09:42 AM

dearest gladx:

i appreciate the thought. and i am flattered that amongst the viable choices in this vibrant community you chose me to proposition via the zefrank.com message board PM system. but i'm afraid your intentions are misdirected. don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm uninterested having access to a "very nice looking, honest, well caring and humble girl with a nice shape." and i do appreciate that you are a "well presentable, and well attractive looking young girl." these things do matter to me, i promise. in a world of loneliness and despair, pain and suffering, ugliness and sorrow, it is fortunate that well caring and well attractive young girls still exist.

unfortunately for the future of what you clearly hoped would be a burgeoning relationship, i am not "a man that knows the value of a good wife." i am also not "honest, well caring and hardworking." as a consequence, i will not "be able to take good care of" you.

so i wish you luck, gladx. and i wish you godspeed. i hope your gladness can carry you through the long, dark night of singlehood and bear you into the glorious illumination of partnership in coupleyhood.

i hope we can still be friends, gladx. but not friends in a "PM me anytime!" kind of way. more like friends who never speak or acknowledge each other, but who privately wish each other.... i was going to say "well" but that may possibly be too strong of an emotion. let's just say that we can be the kind of friends who wish each other no specific ill.

thank you for your inquiry, gladx. may god have mercy on us all.

sincerely,
auntie aubrey

karma_queen · 09-13-2006, 11:28 AM

dear boy
that massage and body scrub has made my skin the softest it's ever been. please notice.
kq x

trisherina · 09-13-2006, 04:30 PM

Dear Nola,

I finally did a partial repotting of the ficus. If it grows now, I'll credit you whenever I look at it. You were right about one thing -- it's got a root ball big enough to let it grow to six feet, easily!

Miss you a lot lately. It's like some sort of weird delayed reaction. Might make your sausage and pepper bake later this week.

Thanks for everything.

Trish

06-19-2006, 10:30 AM	#1096
AllegroNg What I Am Wearing. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Near DC Posts: 2,573	Last edited by AllegroNg : 10-12-2006 at 11:03 PM.

06-22-2006, 12:58 AM	#1098
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	Dear New Guy: You are dumb. Dumb for posting your first & last name on a public message board. Dumb for not realizing anyone with a brain who might want to ** you will pull up Wisconsin Circuit Court's website & plug your name into the search engine. The misdemeanor from 12 years ago is quite loverly, it explains why your life hasn't gone anywhere, and why you aren't ready for this jelly. You are also dumb for not remembering when my birthday was the ing first time I told you. If you really wanted to get into my pants, that would've been the way to go. Moron. -A Dear Guy In The Dairy Queen Eating Dinner W/His BabyMomma & 2 Children, One Less Than A Year Old, Stop staring at me. Yes, they are real. No, you cannot touch them. Yes, I look cute, 2 friends & I decided to move Girls Nite Out to the DQ after dinner. But I don't even know you. Your babymomma? She knows you. And, she must like you. I mean, she ed you. At least twice. And to stare at me while you're out with her? Tacky, cheap, and disrespectful. To her. I don't care if you're disrespectful to me, I don't even know you. But I will tell you one thing, it doesn't make me think you're sexy or cool. **er. -Redfeathered Double Breasted Bed Thrasher __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

08-15-2006, 06:41 PM	#1099
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	Dear G, When you are trying to blame something for which you are responsible on others, and I walk away having loudly announced that I am looking for Ratsak, the appropriate response is not, "Why are you looking for Ratsak?" as then I am forced to answer, "Because we have a rat problem" Also, the best thing to do at this point is to Let Go and Move On, not ask me and any-one else who will listen "so where is the rat?". You are really only providing a source of ready entertainment for the staff and we have plenty of mad old people who already suit that purpose. Snake xxx PS The annual leave you wanted in September? Won't be a problem............. __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

08-15-2006, 07:27 PM	#1100
smellyrayzin mrs. self destruct Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: arizizooona Posts: 643	For: those about to rock I salute you. From: Sue __________________ therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is free. + my website + my photo site

08-28-2006, 03:54 PM	#1101
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	Dear Pringles CheezUms, It's not you, it's me. I haven't had you since 1987 when you first came out. I forgot about your cheesy goodness. So when I saw you across a crowded gas station, I thought, Why not? I knew you'd go perfectly with the cheese & tomato sandwich I'd just made. And you did. You really really did. But this 2 cans a week habit has got to stop. Please stop being so salty & yummy? Please? Sincerely, Peef __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

08-28-2006, 06:40 PM	#1102
ShopaholicChick monkey Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NJ Posts: 89	dr papa smurf isn't this the smurfiest?!?!?! __________________ I hate people who stalk you and think they are funny to hack your accounts

08-31-2006, 01:22 AM	#1103
ambo feline, naturally Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: California Posts: 4,407	dear ken, stop spamming this forum, or i'll get malibu barbie to run you over with her corvette. __________________ Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison

08-31-2006, 01:48 AM	#1104
Jack Flanders landscaping is fun Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: up river and down river Posts: 4,815	Dear person who keeps on hanging up on my phone answering machine, Thank you for hanging up. I don't want to talk to to you either. XXOO, Me P.S. GTH!!!!

08-31-2006, 03:56 AM	#1105
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	Dear Qantas, Why is it necessary to schedule a flight to leave at 2030? Nine hours later is 0530. Which means first off I have to attempt to sleep on a plane. It's just wrong. Secondly, it means that I arrive at 0900 local time. Which, as any jet-lagged traveller will tell you, truly sucks, as your hotel won't let you get into your precious bed until the previous occupants are out of it. What makes this whole deable worse is that if you were to schedule your flight at the very civilised time of say 0900, I would arrive at 6pm my time, refreshed after a day of snacking and movie watching, and the local time would be about 1030pm - just in time to fall into my assuredly unoccupied hotel bed. FFS if I can see this why can't you? Night flights should be taken out the back and shot. Snake (who Does Not Travel Well) __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

08-31-2006, 08:10 AM	#1106
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	snake on a plane!

08-31-2006, 09:38 AM	#1107
AllegroNg What I Am Wearing. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Near DC Posts: 2,573	Dearest Cat, Thank you for the dead bird. I already had breakfast. Plus you already ate half of the poor thing. Next time maybe you should bring something we could both use.. like money.. Heart, Ng

09-13-2006, 09:42 AM	#1108
auntie aubrey excursions Join Date: May 2006 Location: beyond the call of duty Posts: 2,443	an open letter to gladx dearest gladx: i appreciate the thought. and i am flattered that amongst the viable choices in this vibrant community you chose me to proposition via the zefrank.com message board PM system. but i'm afraid your intentions are misdirected. don't get me wrong, it's not that i'm uninterested having access to a "very nice looking, honest, well caring and humble girl with a nice shape." and i do appreciate that you are a "well presentable, and well attractive looking young girl." these things do matter to me, i promise. in a world of loneliness and despair, pain and suffering, ugliness and sorrow, it is fortunate that well caring and well attractive young girls still exist. unfortunately for the future of what you clearly hoped would be a burgeoning relationship, i am not "a man that knows the value of a good wife." i am also not "honest, well caring and hardworking." as a consequence, i will not "be able to take good care of" you. so i wish you luck, gladx. and i wish you godspeed. i hope your gladness can carry you through the long, dark night of singlehood and bear you into the glorious illumination of partnership in coupleyhood. i hope we can still be friends, gladx. but not friends in a "PM me anytime!" kind of way. more like friends who never speak or acknowledge each other, but who privately wish each other.... i was going to say "well" but that may possibly be too strong of an emotion. let's just say that we can be the kind of friends who wish each other no specific ill. thank you for your inquiry, gladx. may god have mercy on us all. sincerely, auntie aubrey __________________ that dog won't hunt, monsignor

09-13-2006, 11:28 AM	#1109
karma_queen Minx Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Brighton, darling! Posts: 1,046	dear boy that massage and body scrub has made my skin the softest it's ever been. please notice. kq x

09-13-2006, 04:30 PM	#1110
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	Dear Nola, I finally did a partial repotting of the ficus. If it grows now, I'll credit you whenever I look at it. You were right about one thing -- it's got a root ball big enough to let it grow to six feet, easily! Miss you a lot lately. It's like some sort of weird delayed reaction. Might make your sausage and pepper bake later this week. Thanks for everything. Trish

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