Go-it-alone limericks

That’s good… we like your company.

in jest…
Funkytuba’s on the edge.
You’ll find him standing on the ledge,
but please, don’t disturb him;
you just might un-nerb him-
losing that job drove the last wedge.

I think that I have never seen
a bowl of halibut ice crean.
I guess I’m just lucky,
it sure would be yucky
I much prefer vanilla bean.

If up were down and right were left,
then I would be somewhat more deft;
and the world would be better
(or else made of chedder)
and you would lose that extra heft.

[zenbabe]

There once was a girl with a gun
Who decided to go have some fun
She shot off some rounds
Until the alarm sounds
And now she is rich on the run.

There once was a girl with some rum
who outdrank us, every last bum.
She drank us all under,
and stole all our thunder,
I think her name was zenbabe… um…

[Audreyvgs]

There once was a girl on this thread
who fooled us and called herself Ned
faux sexuality
wasn't reality
down a false twisted path we were led

There once was a women called Fate,
who was cruel and consumed with pure hate.
She punched in my face
when she came to my place,
she was ten times worse than my worst date.

[BusyRich]

There once was a girl named LaToya
Who fancied becoming a lawyer
But her face had been tweaked
'til she looked like a freak
So instead she just gets paranoia

[ambo]

A needle and thread I'll be needing
And a thimble so I won't be bleeding
I'd much rather sew
Than sow seeds, you know
'Cause I just can't stand all of that weeding

nycwriters is gone
from the dark to the light of the dawn.
Well, I bid her farewell
and remember her tell
her great stories, from hinder to yon

In pallid twin orbs of azure
she had manners which strangely allure.
But I know life brings change
and forever is strange
so drink up to the best you can pour!

There once was a caveman named Og.
His companion was simply called Thog.
When they saw, by the Niger,
a Sabre-toothed Tiger
they opted to go for a jog.

There once was a man, Mr. Bass,
who took pleasure in munching on glass.
When I asked him of it,
he said “sharpens my wit,”
that most curious man, Mr. Bass.

There once was a tuba quite funky
who was quite a clever zemonkey.
When his tuba he tooted,
the rest of us hooted,
that tooting old tuba called funky.

There’s also a pirate named Frieda
who by night’s a badass rough rida
but by day, she’s a geek,
and in hearing her speak,
well, it’s kinda like Jeckle and Hyda.

When I copied zefrank on my date,
well, I guess that I sealed my fate:
When I smeared that pancake
on my face? Was not jake-
Perhaps waffles will find me a mate…

[RevEf]

I think that I will today
Destroy all the things I survey
But then if I don't
I guess that I won't
C'est la vie, as the French c'est.

[Dark Chocolate]

There once was a fuzzy catbelly
who loved to sashay to the deli.
The owners all loved her,
and that’s why they shoved her
some salmon and liver, quite smelly.

What’s smelly to some’s good to others,
and catbelly had many lovers:
a tortoiseshell once,
and a siamese dunce,
but she would always get her druthers.

There once was a sleuthster named Ruth,
who was clever and ever so couth.
Her shoes were so gummy
that, up walls quite crummy,
she walked like a Gecko, forsooth!