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Old 07-29-2008, 08:30 PM   #286
Marcus Bales
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How do you tell if your pet elephants have been having sex?

The garbage can liner is missing and there's a quarter on the doorstep.
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Old 08-04-2008, 02:48 PM   #287
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What did one snowman say to the other?

"Do you smell carrots?"
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Old 08-09-2008, 11:20 PM   #288
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oh oh oh

One atom says to the other, "Someone has stolen one of my electrons!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Old 08-10-2008, 09:08 AM   #289
Marcus Bales
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What do you call an atom that's missing one electron?

I don't know, either, but you'd better keep your ion it.
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Old 11-16-2008, 08:22 PM   #290
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Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a martinus."

The bartender says, "Don't you mean a martini?"

Caesar replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."
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Old 08-18-2009, 11:40 PM   #291
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What do you call a pig with three eyes?




A piiig.
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Old 08-19-2009, 08:28 AM   #292
Marcus Bales
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What do elephants use as tampons?

Sheep.
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Old 11-13-2009, 01:37 AM   #293
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What game can you play with a wombat?



Wom.
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Old 11-13-2009, 03:06 AM   #294
Marcus Bales
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What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
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Old 11-20-2009, 11:14 PM   #295
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I think we've all visited the same site now
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 11-21-2009, 05:17 AM   #296
madasacutsnake
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A man is telling his friend about the great night he had.

"I found a woman tied to the railway tracks! I untied her and took her home and we sex all night long! We did it every way you can imagine, even up the bum!"

"Mate, that's amazing," says the friend. "Did you get a blow job?"

"No," he replies, "I didn't find the head"
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He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.
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Old 11-21-2009, 10:40 AM   #297
Marcus Bales
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Why did the snowman smile?

He heard the snowblower approaching.
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My heart is nearly pure.

Last edited by Marcus Bales : 11-21-2009 at 10:59 AM.
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Old 11-21-2009, 08:26 PM   #298
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brynn View Post
I think we've all visited the same site now
Awright, here's one my son told me when he was about 3. I think you'll agree it's entirely...um...original.

Q: "Why did the kitty cross the road?"


A: "Tractor."


And then he laughed himself blue.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:29 AM   #299
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How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Green.

Unless they're also Dadaists, and then:

Fish.
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Old 11-25-2009, 01:20 PM   #300
YsaPur EsChomuw
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What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
Eat, drink and be Mary.
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