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Old 05-28-2009, 02:51 PM   #16
Marcus Bales
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For anyone afraid of thunderstorms, you need only incant "Where's the whiskey? Where's the whiskey?" until you can decant some into your mouth for you to feel much, much better.
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Old 05-30-2009, 01:34 AM   #17
YsaPur EsChomuw
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When in doubt, ponask.
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:34 AM   #18
Marcus Bales
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No matter how many layers of plastic grocery bags you use to pick up the dog's poop out on a walk, the holes mysteriously line up.
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:09 PM   #19
MoJoRiSin
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those words that come to you in the morning between sleep and wakefulness
mean something
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From stone tablets to html code, it's not lost on me.
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Old 06-01-2009, 03:16 PM   #20
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Speaking of incantations, whenever you've misplaced something, repeatedly chanting "Man knows instantly everything he needs to know" while you are searching for the missing item will help you think clearly, stay calm, and eventually find the missing item sooner than you normally would have.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 06-01-2009, 04:34 PM   #21
Marcus Bales
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You always find what you're looking for in the last place you look. Because then you stop looking.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:34 AM   #22
Hyakujo's Fox
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Once you reach 8888 posts on this board, you are officially excused.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:23 AM   #23
Marcus Bales
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Unfortunately, once you get to 8889 you're officially indicted again.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:32 AM   #24
YsaPur EsChomuw
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If you eat some chocolate everything will turn out just fine.
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:03 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoJoRiSin View Post
those words that come to you in the morning between sleep and wakefulness
mean something
Don't ride my rooster, Raymond. See? The tops are made with cinnamon gum! Oh, I hope this is the bathroooomium mum mum mmmmummmmmm...
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...or words to that effect.
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Old 08-24-2009, 03:26 AM   #26
Marcus Bales
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When you walk two dogs, you'd better take four bags.
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:04 PM   #27
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Bringing a cat on a leash will make you the center of attention at the dog park.

Last edited by Coffee : 08-24-2009 at 06:10 PM.
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:44 AM   #28
Marcus Bales
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If you bring your cat on a leash to the dogpark no one will even notice.
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Old 09-01-2009, 11:14 AM   #29
Hyakujo's Fox
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Putting a cat on a leash is illegal in many southern states.
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:36 AM   #30
Marcus Bales
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"Putting a cat on a leash" is a German idiom for an expensive sex act.
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