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Old 06-19-2003, 01:48 PM   #166
red
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Dear job offer,
Why are you low? Can't you see what a catch I am. I am such a vaulable find you can afford $500 more a month for me.
Best,
red
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Old 06-19-2003, 02:26 PM   #167
agentsmith
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dear old man muffin-
do moel in.
yours eternally,
rachael
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Old 06-19-2003, 02:41 PM   #168
Deviate
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dear meal,

please taste good. please nourish my body and be more filling than you appear. please do not jump out of your box and onto the floor, there is so little of you.

thanks.
-st.
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Old 06-19-2003, 02:42 PM   #169
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Dear Devi,
What the hell are you eating and why is it jumping out of the box!

Wondering,
red
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Old 06-19-2003, 03:12 PM   #170
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Dear Red,

Budget Gormet Ziti Parmesano, which has a tendancy to, when stirred, slingshot noodles stray from the box. it sucks. you only get like 10 noodles anyway, losing one is a large percentage of your meal.

still hungry,
-st.
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Old 06-19-2003, 03:33 PM   #171
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dear movie library-
please let me notice a movie that will lift my spirits. i need a movie. i just do. i watched all the good ones already...no wait! i havent finished arthur yet! YES!

thank you so much,
agent.
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Old 06-19-2003, 04:01 PM   #172
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Dear AT & T,

Please don't shut my cell phone off when I'm unable to pay the gut-wrenching sum that's on the bill I got yesterday in full right away... I was just helping out the theater during their festival, trying to get people to come and help out, and didn't keep track of the calls... gah....
Please be nice and let me pay it off bit by bit... I'm usually very frugal with my phone...


Lala
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Old 06-19-2003, 04:13 PM   #173
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Dear computer monitor screen-

Please stop doing that little shimmying thing you've started to do the last week or so... I absolutely cannot afford to replace you right now and I need you to be okay for at least a few more months...
I know you're getting up there in age but I've taken good care of you, never dropped or hit you, hardly ever push your buttons... I even clean your screen sometimes. There. I just did it again. See how nice I am to you?

xoxox
Lala
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Old 06-19-2003, 05:07 PM   #174
agentsmith
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dear lala's computer screen-
dont be a bastard.
yours eternally-
agent
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Old 06-19-2003, 06:02 PM   #175
Deviate
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Dear Fed Ex Delivery Chick,

I look forward to pick up time. Maybe after work you and me could get a drink, see a show, nosh on some surf and turf???

-st.


Dear Fed Ex:

If you even THINK about changing the routes again I will physically take down your entire company. I mean it. Keep her on this route. She's mine.

-st.
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Old 06-19-2003, 06:32 PM   #176
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Woo yeah. Go Dev. Tell her all about Impure Thoughts.
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Old 06-19-2003, 07:15 PM   #177
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Dear new washing machine
How can you do it at 1500 rpm? I struggle at 150.
Please share.

admiration,

Rune
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Old 06-19-2003, 07:16 PM   #178
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dear lady who doesn't speak english,
please don't bring your file here, i don't want it. go to kinko's
thanks,
RP
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Old 06-20-2003, 01:14 AM   #179
sixfinger
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Dear stretch marks,

Go away. Fade, abandon me.

Some mums never get 'em. Why'd you pick me?

You are not a roadmap of my motherhood, nor a set of clues to my subsistence.

You are nasty. Go!

Rudely,

Sara
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Old 06-20-2003, 04:09 AM   #180
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Quote:
Originally posted by sixfinger
Dear stretch marks,

Go away. Fade, abandon me.

Some mums never get 'em. Why'd you pick me?

You are not a roadmap of my motherhood, nor a set of clues to my subsistence.

You are nasty. Go!

Rudely,

Sara
olive oil soap!
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