Letters that get me through the day. - Page 76 - ZEFRANK.COM

lostsadie · 03-16-2007, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Flanders

(You just want a martini!)

Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

don't tell, they might think I'm a lush

beckstra · 03-18-2007, 12:01 PM

Dear downtime,
I got in bed last night at 1am. Take pity on me. I drove a mooch I don't like to another pub for the sake of my sister. I want to go home and sleep some more...considering I only got 4 hours and 45 minutes of sleep last night & have a busy day from 3pm on.
Love,
A Very Cuddly, Cozy Me

Dear Grandma,
Thanks for going home. I lost all that weight I put on while you were here. I've also not had to clean up doggie doo in my living room. If you ever bring that dog anywhere near my house again, I will not be held responsible for what happens to it! PS. I've stopped eating pork altogether. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Beck

Dear Colon,
I know you don't like lettuce. I'm sorry. Just stop it already though.
Brain

Dear Yoga Pants...
Mmmmmmm...comfort.
Thank you,
At Work

Frieda · 03-18-2007, 12:25 PM

dear self,

YOU ROCK, WOMAN!!

you can be very, very proud of yourself, you even cleaned on top of all the cupboards! woo YAY woo YAY!

see you next spring cleaning spree!

me

priceyfatprude · 03-18-2007, 08:35 PM

Dear lady upstairs-

Stop doing your dishes in the morning before I get in the shower or your husband's brand new truck is going to mysteriously turn up keyed on of these days when I have no water pressure & what *does* come out is cold.

-the "lady" downstairs

trisherina · 03-20-2007, 09:56 AM

Dear N,

Thank you for all those earrings. I didn't even realize until yesterday how many of them you gave to me in the last year. Kind of like the Keith thing. So maybe that was your way of acknowledging it. Anyway, they're all perfect and dainty and timeless. Two I keep only for special occasions. The others all bring me luck.

xo
Trish

beckstra · 03-25-2007, 04:40 AM

Dear David,

You have someone. I need you to stop being a tease and flirting with me. It kinda hurts, and moreso just pisses me off...when you do it in front of her face and once she's one. She's a nice girl and doesn't deserve your brand of shit.

You know who...

Dear keyboard,

If you could get my "up," "down," "delete," "g" and "h" keys to start working again without me having to copy and paste certain ones them over and over again, I'd have mercy on you and not go get another keyboard when I get my federal refund back.

I don't like you.

T.I.P. · 03-25-2007, 09:14 AM

Dear Dude that was walking down the Beach on Far Rockaway,
It was an interesting experience meeting you in the middle of nowhere. Thanks for not robbing me with all my luggage before I got on the plane.
Mr Tourist

Dear Eyelids,
Please stay open and see me through the day. And your friend jetlag that he is not welcome around here.
me

Frieda · 03-25-2007, 05:48 PM

dear self,

let it go. it's a choice. you dont have to sit through all that crap.

good luck,

me

auntie aubrey · 03-25-2007, 06:35 PM

dear job:

F you in the unholiest of holies. and leave my weekends out of this, you craptacular lifesucker.

love,
your auntie

madasacutsnake · 03-25-2007, 06:51 PM

dear job:

F you in the unholiest of holies. and leave my weekends out of this, you craptacular lifesucker.

love,
your snake

madasacutsnake · 03-26-2007, 06:00 AM

Dear new teacher,

It's parent teacher interviews night tonight. I'll preface what's coming by saying that currently I think all teachers suck blowing dead goats. You really farked me off by claiming in front of my child that something she said wasn't true. You're not to know what crap we have just been through with her previous teacher (suffice to say it didn't end prettily for the teacher nor the school) however do consider it as having used up your 'ask the audience' lifeline.

So. Just don't go THERE (and by that I meananyfarkingwhere) with me. In fact don't even glance in its direction nor give it so much as a fleeting thought.

Looking forward a successful relationship in the future,

Snake.

Creepy Sheep · 03-26-2007, 09:38 AM

Dear self,

I understand your reluctance, but I would be sincerely grateful if you could get your arse in gear and do some work. This does not include any of the following;

cooking complicated meals
cleaning the bathroom
watching adaptations of great novels on the grounds that it's "practically educational"
teaching yourself origami

Yours,
CS

Clytie · 03-26-2007, 11:30 PM

Dear guest at my hotel,
Please wear more than your red long johns to our free breakfast.

*clytie*

Jack Flanders · 03-27-2007, 12:34 AM

HA!! or is that EW!!

priceyfatprude · 03-27-2007, 01:17 AM

Dear car-
I ****ing hate you.

Dear man who stopped to help a stranger-
Thank you. I am sorry I didn't roll down my window, but I'm sure you understand.

Dear person in the green Intrepid who was behind my car when we got back from the gas station with gas-
What were you doing? Did you call the cops? Strangeness...

Dear flatbed towtruck man-
Thanks for stopping, that was sweet of you. sorry I didn't end up needing you.

Dear garage who had my car for a ****ing week "fixing" it-
Thanks for putting in a broken fuel pump. You are putting a new one in tomorrow, and fixing the gas gauge on the dash like I asked you to last time. And I am not paying more than $100 dollars added to the $782 I've already paid you. I will cry a little when I tell you about tonight if I have to.

Dear friend who came to help me-
Do I have to sleep with you now, or would a steak dinner cover it?

-Peef

03-18-2007, 12:01 PM	#1127
beckstra one classy broad Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Cornhusker State Posts: 1,229	Dear downtime, I got in bed last night at 1am. Take pity on me. I drove a mooch I don't like to another pub for the sake of my sister. I want to go home and sleep some more...considering I only got 4 hours and 45 minutes of sleep last night & have a busy day from 3pm on. Love, A Very Cuddly, Cozy Me Dear Grandma, Thanks for going home. I lost all that weight I put on while you were here. I've also not had to clean up doggie doo in my living room. If you ever bring that dog anywhere near my house again, I will not be held responsible for what happens to it! PS. I've stopped eating pork altogether. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Beck Dear Colon, I know you don't like lettuce. I'm sorry. Just stop it already though. Brain Dear Yoga Pants... Mmmmmmm...comfort. Thank you, At Work __________________ I'd rather be making out.

03-18-2007, 12:25 PM	#1128
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	dear self, YOU ROCK, WOMAN!! you can be very, very proud of yourself, you even cleaned on top of all the cupboards! woo YAY woo YAY! see you next spring cleaning spree! me __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

03-18-2007, 08:35 PM	#1129
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	Dear lady upstairs- Stop doing your dishes in the morning before I get in the shower or your husband's brand new truck is going to mysteriously turn up keyed on of these days when I have no water pressure & what does come out is cold. -the "lady" downstairs __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

03-25-2007, 04:40 AM	#1131
beckstra one classy broad Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Cornhusker State Posts: 1,229	Dear David, You have someone. I need you to stop being a tease and flirting with me. It kinda hurts, and moreso just pisses me off...when you do it in front of her face and once she's one. She's a nice girl and doesn't deserve your brand of shit. You know who... Dear keyboard, If you could get my "up," "down," "delete," "g" and "h" keys to start working again without me having to copy and paste certain ones them over and over again, I'd have mercy on you and not go get another keyboard when I get my federal refund back. I don't like you. __________________ I'd rather be making out.

03-25-2007, 05:48 PM	#1133
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	dear self, let it go. it's a choice. you dont have to sit through all that crap. good luck, me __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

03-20-2007, 09:56 AM	#1130
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	Dear N, Thank you for all those earrings. I didn't even realize until yesterday how many of them you gave to me in the last year. Kind of like the Keith thing. So maybe that was your way of acknowledging it. Anyway, they're all perfect and dainty and timeless. Two I keep only for special occasions. The others all bring me luck. xo Trish

03-25-2007, 09:14 AM	#1132
T.I.P. balancing actor Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: america Posts: 2,706	Dear Dude that was walking down the Beach on Far Rockaway, It was an interesting experience meeting you in the middle of nowhere. Thanks for not robbing me with all my luggage before I got on the plane. Mr Tourist Dear Eyelids, Please stay open and see me through the day. And your friend jetlag that he is not welcome around here. me

03-25-2007, 06:35 PM	#1134
auntie aubrey excursions Join Date: May 2006 Location: beyond the call of duty Posts: 2,443	dear job: F you in the unholiest of holies. and leave my weekends out of this, you craptacular lifesucker. love, your auntie __________________ that dog won't hunt, monsignor

03-25-2007, 06:51 PM	#1135
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	dear job: F you in the unholiest of holies. and leave my weekends out of this, you craptacular lifesucker. love, your snake __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

03-26-2007, 06:00 AM	#1136
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	Dear new teacher, It's parent teacher interviews night tonight. I'll preface what's coming by saying that currently I think all teachers suck blowing dead goats. You really farked me off by claiming in front of my child that something she said wasn't true. You're not to know what crap we have just been through with her previous teacher (suffice to say it didn't end prettily for the teacher nor the school) however do consider it as having used up your 'ask the audience' lifeline. So. Just don't go THERE (and by that I meananyfarkingwhere) with me. In fact don't even glance in its direction nor give it so much as a fleeting thought. Looking forward a successful relationship in the future, Snake. __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

03-26-2007, 09:38 AM	#1137
Creepy Sheep monkey Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Around a muffin Posts: 16	Dear self, I understand your reluctance, but I would be sincerely grateful if you could get your arse in gear and do some work. This does not include any of the following; cooking complicated meals cleaning the bathroom watching adaptations of great novels on the grounds that it's "practically educational" teaching yourself origami Yours, CS

03-26-2007, 11:30 PM	#1138
Clytie thundering is my favorite Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: motivated to be all i can be Posts: 3,827	Dear guest at my hotel, Please wear more than your red long johns to our free breakfast. clytie __________________ your star shaped heart has reached out to me and together our hearts beat as one bound by the rich red that runs coarsing united we stand stronger than before able to face the dark with hands entwined

03-27-2007, 12:34 AM	#1139
Jack Flanders landscaping is fun Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: up river and down river Posts: 4,815	HA!! or is that EW!!

03-27-2007, 01:17 AM	#1140
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	Dear car- I **ing hate you. Dear man who stopped to help a stranger- Thank you. I am sorry I didn't roll down my window, but I'm sure you understand. Dear person in the green Intrepid who was behind my car when we got back from the gas station with gas- What were you doing? Did you call the cops? Strangeness... Dear flatbed towtruck man- Thanks for stopping, that was sweet of you. sorry I didn't end up needing you. Dear garage who had my car for a **ing week "fixing" it- Thanks for putting in a broken fuel pump. You are putting a new one in tomorrow, and fixing the gas gauge on the dash like I asked you to last time. And I am not paying more than $100 dollars added to the $782 I've already paid you. I will cry a little when I tell you about tonight if I have to. Dear friend who came to help me- Do I have to sleep with you now, or would a steak dinner cover it? -Peef __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

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