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Old 04-19-2004, 11:44 PM   #1
nycwriters
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Invent a product

What would you invent to make your life easier/better, for the good of mankind. Anything goes, science and schematics be damned.
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:50 PM   #2
catbelly
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I play this game with my friend L all the time ... I think our biggest success is "DE-WEIRDERANT" which comes in both spray and roll-on formats, available in regular, extra-strength, and Family Holiday Strength.

Use of De-Weirderant before dates allows one to appear as normal as possible, alleviating concerns of nervous "blurting" [insert video clip of couple on a first date, girl says, "no really I like balding guys ... not that you're balding, but if you were, it wouldn't matter because it doesn't really matter if a person has hair or not but of course you have hair I wasn't really talking about you at all I ... I... he he he he he ... ahhh"]
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etc.
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Old 04-19-2004, 11:52 PM   #3
nycwriters
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Ah that's GREAT!

When I was a kid I wanted to invent a TV that if you saw something you liked on TV, all you had to do was reach in and grab it and you'd have it instantly. Voila.

Yeah, well, perhaps it's time to reevaluate my materialistic youth.....

But seriously! Wouldn't that be great? You're thirsty and you see a soda commercial, reach in, grab one, and you have it. Same with when you're absolutely starving and you see this great meal on TV.
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Old 04-20-2004, 12:02 AM   #4
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I love that! Like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can only imagine how many Pamela Andersons there would be in the world, though!

We had another room spray, designed to neutralize pheromones. You know when you're going to have a party and you know that a certain person is coming, and you really hate them because they get drunk and start hitting on everyone else's boyfriend in the most lewd and sloppy ways? Well this spray would have neutralized any pheromones given off by said person, rendering her pvssy power USELESS.

I can't remember what we called this one but the commercial was funny... picutre a room full of people and one chicklet getting all sloppy with an obviously attached boyfriend who is interested in the spectacle and the attention ... the hostess steps in politely and says, "sorry, everyone, I should have used Pvssy Blaster (or whatever we called it)!" and sprays the room with it, and the chicklet kind of peels away and the guy shakes his head as if clearing it of cobwebs and people go back to mingling.
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Old 04-20-2004, 12:08 AM   #5
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That would guarantee the constant reruns of many Cheech and Chong movies.

edited to add: I also like the one about pvssy blaster aka ho-be-gone
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Old 04-20-2004, 12:09 AM   #6
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The universal finder. Just hold this spherical device and think of the thing you cannot find. The device then projects video images, charts, or binaural sonic landscapes (blind version) to describe to you, in a gestalt, visual (or audio) sense, where that thing is.
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Old 04-20-2004, 01:46 AM   #7
sparticle
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A jet pack so you could fly from place to place. How cool would it be to take off from your back yard and fly to the beach or the mountains?

I used to sit and try to draw this when I was a kid. I even wrote to NASA and asked them if they were coming up with one any time soon, since I didn't seem to be getting too far with the aerodynamics. LOL
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Old 04-20-2004, 02:45 AM   #8
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Instaservice

Whatever you needed done, making the bed, in a rush & need to put on make-up & iron your clothes, you get the idea. For when you need or just want the extra help, Instaservice is at your beck & call, just press the button on the programable remote & they materialize right out of thin air to do your bidding. I guess *they* are not human, I haven't figured that part out yet. Or better yet voice controled service, what everyone needs to make life better *they* are at your service. Maid service, pool service, cooking, cleaning & whatever else you can think of to make your life as easy and as enjoyable as possible.
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Old 04-20-2004, 02:49 AM   #9
Audreyvgs
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a grid floor in my kitchen, so that all the crap I drop when I cook can just fall thru the grate, and then waterjets just spray it into some giant disposal drain somewhere outside.

a baby bidet. (back then I wanted this, not now)

rotating shelves in my refrigerator that not only know what the expiration dates of everything is and automatically throws it out, but cleans themselves too.

diet coke cans that don't roll
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Old 04-20-2004, 02:59 AM   #10
rapscalious rob
 
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sparticle: http://www.futurehorizons.net/jetpack.htm
flashfire: damn, that would be mighty fine… it reminds me of this science fiction story called “Silent Brother” by Algis Budrys. It’s basically about these beneficial parasites these astronauts get when they visit another planet. These parasites are able to fix anything that is wrong with you- make your eyesight better, fix your teeth, completely disassemble you to make you slide under a door or through a keyhole and reassemble on the other side…

I would certainly like to have a “silent brother.”
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Old 04-20-2004, 03:14 AM   #11
madasacutsnake
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A sort of Tazer thing. It gives people an electric shock when they say something stupid and it doesn't stop until they either grow a brain or are dead. I call it the Destupidizer.
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Old 04-20-2004, 11:14 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by rapscalious rob
sparticle: http://www.futurehorizons.net/jetpack.htm
OMG! Is this for real???? I want one! I want one!!!!!

Thanks for finding the link!
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Old 04-20-2004, 11:40 AM   #13
weissenflatz
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a Worry and trouble upsucker.

Sometimes it would be nice, when you're worried about something, if you would be able to put the worry upsucker (looks a bit like the things these use in hair cutting saloons for ageing ladies) on your head for a while. Cleansing you mind, and leaving you in heavenly peace...
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Old 04-20-2004, 12:29 PM   #14
lvlycwgirl
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I would invent an automatic tuna can opener. It not only opens the can, but it squeezes all the water/oil out into a small container so you don't get all that crap on your hands or clothes. It can be used in conjunction with the automatic egg peeler.
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Old 04-20-2004, 12:32 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by sparticle
OMG! Is this for real???? I want one! I want one!!!!!

Thanks for finding the link!
You get one of these, and I expect a real visit..not just a fly over
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