"Makes Sense To Me" News Story Of The Day - Page 12 - ZEFRANK.COM

craig johnston · 10-13-2007, 08:48 AM

boney m save the world!

Hyakujo's Fox · 10-14-2007, 05:09 AM

T.I.P. · 10-14-2007, 05:29 AM

^ clearly a woman driven by ambition

brightpearl · 10-14-2007, 08:36 AM

^What I love most about that clip is the artichoke.

brightpearl · 10-30-2007, 01:50 PM

Oh, fer pete's sake.

State Report: Texas Has Too Many Reports

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — State agencies issue too many reports, a new 668-page report says.

The Texas State Library and Archives Commission spent 18 months and canvassed more than 170 agencies and public colleges and universities, checking on all the reports they are assigned to do.

The commission found more than 1,600, and state records administrator Michael Heskett is pretty sure his team hasn't found them all.

Heskett's initial findings indicate more than 400 report requirements are obsolete, duplicative or not needed as frequently as currently required.

"At first, we were overwhelmed by the sheer number of reporting requirements," Heskett said. "We haven't begun our evaluation yet. But I think we can reach our goal of eliminating the deadwood without compromising the need for accountability in our state agencies."

Agencies stand to save thousands of staff hours and tons of paper, although the commission hasn't estimated yet exactly how much of either, Heskett said.

The Library and Archives Commission has only just begun assessing the report requirements one by one, which Heskett expects will take at least another year.

As for the commission's massive report on reports, Heskett predicts it won't go away.

"For the report to be effective, it must be ongoing," he said.

(I can't help feel this is connected to the fact that we have over 400 amendments to the state constitution.)

Angry Kid Hoyt · 10-30-2007, 05:20 PM

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/oct/29/clam

craig johnston · 11-13-2007, 12:48 PM

If it don't work, shoot it!

Man hurt using gun to change tyre

A US man has injured himself in both legs after attempting to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by blasting it with his gun.
The 66-year-old man from Washington state was repairing his car outside his home when the accident took place.

Shooting at the wheel from arm's length with his 12-gauge shotgun, he was peppered with buckshot and debris.

The man - who police say was on his own and not intoxicated - was taken to hospital with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries.

The man, from South Kitsap, 10 miles (16km) southwest of Seattle, had been repairing his Lincoln Continental for two weeks, according to the police, and had removed all but one of the nuts on the right rear wheel.

Frustrated by the one remaining nut which refused to budge, he resorted to fire power in an effort to shift it.

"He's bound and determined to get that lug nut off," said Deputy Scott Wilson, a spokesman from the sheriff's office.

He sustained injuries from his feet to the middle of his abdomen, with some pellets reaching as high as his chin, police said.

brightpearl · 11-13-2007, 12:52 PM

^Oh, lord. Musta been visiting Seattle from TX.

Angry Kid Hoyt · 11-13-2007, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tunesmith

Residents of Oregon town say shape of traffic posts is offensive

......
A number of residents have complained to the city that the posts resemble male genitalia.
....
The city is looking into retrofitting the posts with metal collars and chains that run between them, which they hope will change the look. If not, they said the posts will have to go.

Oh, yeah, that'll make it better.

Tunesmith · 11-13-2007, 11:59 PM

^

'Spider-Boy' saves baby from blaze

A five-year-old boy dressed in a Spider-Man suit became a real superhero in Brazil when he saved a baby girl from her burning home.

While playing in his back garden with a friend, Riquelme Maciel spotted smoke coming out of the wooden house's windows and ran to tell the baby's mother, Lucilene dos Santos.
Maciel said he is now dreaming of becoming a fire-fighter so he can save more lives

But Ms Santos was too afraid to enter the blaze, so it was down to young Maciel to step in and save the day - he rushed into the burning house and grabbed baby Andrieli from her cradle.

The Fire Department Chief Jose de Macedo praised the boy's bravery, and much like his hero Spider-Man, Maciel became the talk of the town.

His face made it to the cover of all the local newspapers and he no longer needs the red and blue costume to be recognised.

Maciel said he is now dreaming of becoming a fire-fighter so he can save more lives.

© Independent Television News Limited 2007. All rights reserved.

daverbee · 11-14-2007, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by craig johnston

If it don't work, shoot it!

Man hurt using gun to change tyre ...

The man - who police say was on his own and not intoxicated - was taken to hospital with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries.

Wouldn't he have been better off insisting he was intoxicated so nobody would realize just how monumentally stupid he actually is?

daverbee · 11-15-2007, 01:30 PM

This story makes more sense when you realize the company in the report is American...

Santas Warned 'ho ho ho' Offensive to Women

Wed Nov 14, 11:04 PM ET

SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph.

"Leave Santa alone."

A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.

Frieda · 11-15-2007, 01:41 PM

^ how jolly.. prostitute, prostitute, prostitute!

craig johnston · 11-15-2007, 04:56 PM

Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

brightpearl · 11-15-2007, 04:58 PM

^I didn't know your surname was Stewart.

10-13-2007, 08:48 AM	#166
craig johnston dalai clique Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tea leaf towers - home of fine musical entertainment Posts: 5,609	boney m save the world! __________________ the tea leaf family

10-30-2007, 05:20 PM	#171
Angry Kid Hoyt How long was I asleep? Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: In a bright yellow house next to the cemetery Posts: 594	Scientists discover oldest living animal... and promptly kill it http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/oct/29/clam

11-13-2007, 12:48 PM	#172
craig johnston dalai clique Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tea leaf towers - home of fine musical entertainment Posts: 5,609	If it don't work, shoot it! Man hurt using gun to change tyre A US man has injured himself in both legs after attempting to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by blasting it with his gun. The 66-year-old man from Washington state was repairing his car outside his home when the accident took place. Shooting at the wheel from arm's length with his 12-gauge shotgun, he was peppered with buckshot and debris. The man - who police say was on his own and not intoxicated - was taken to hospital with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries. The man, from South Kitsap, 10 miles (16km) southwest of Seattle, had been repairing his Lincoln Continental for two weeks, according to the police, and had removed all but one of the nuts on the right rear wheel. Frustrated by the one remaining nut which refused to budge, he resorted to fire power in an effort to shift it. "He's bound and determined to get that lug nut off," said Deputy Scott Wilson, a spokesman from the sheriff's office. He sustained injuries from his feet to the middle of his abdomen, with some pellets reaching as high as his chin, police said. __________________ the tea leaf family

11-15-2007, 01:30 PM	#177
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	This story makes more sense when you realize the company in the report is American... Santas Warned 'ho ho ho' Offensive to Women Wed Nov 14, 11:04 PM ET SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday. Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported. One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute. "Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph. "Leave Santa alone." A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself. __________________ Time is essential because without it everything would happen all at once.

11-15-2007, 01:41 PM	#178
Frieda in limbo Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 19,504	^ how jolly.. prostitute, prostitute, prostitute! __________________ zoek waar je wil, maar het zit in jezelf oh yeah

10-14-2007, 05:09 AM	#167
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071

10-14-2007, 05:29 AM	#168
T.I.P. balancing actor Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: america Posts: 2,706	^ clearly a woman driven by ambition

10-14-2007, 08:36 AM	#169
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	^What I love most about that clip is the artichoke.

10-30-2007, 01:50 PM	#170
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	Oh, fer pete's sake. State Report: Texas Has Too Many Reports AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — State agencies issue too many reports, a new 668-page report says. The Texas State Library and Archives Commission spent 18 months and canvassed more than 170 agencies and public colleges and universities, checking on all the reports they are assigned to do. The commission found more than 1,600, and state records administrator Michael Heskett is pretty sure his team hasn't found them all. Heskett's initial findings indicate more than 400 report requirements are obsolete, duplicative or not needed as frequently as currently required. "At first, we were overwhelmed by the sheer number of reporting requirements," Heskett said. "We haven't begun our evaluation yet. But I think we can reach our goal of eliminating the deadwood without compromising the need for accountability in our state agencies." Agencies stand to save thousands of staff hours and tons of paper, although the commission hasn't estimated yet exactly how much of either, Heskett said. The Library and Archives Commission has only just begun assessing the report requirements one by one, which Heskett expects will take at least another year. As for the commission's massive report on reports, Heskett predicts it won't go away. "For the report to be effective, it must be ongoing," he said. (I can't help feel this is connected to the fact that we have over 400 amendments to the state constitution.)

11-13-2007, 12:52 PM	#173
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	^Oh, lord. Musta been visiting Seattle from TX.

11-13-2007, 11:59 PM	#175
Tunesmith click click click Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: snap the fingers Posts: 2,229	^ 'Spider-Boy' saves baby from blaze A five-year-old boy dressed in a Spider-Man suit became a real superhero in Brazil when he saved a baby girl from her burning home. While playing in his back garden with a friend, Riquelme Maciel spotted smoke coming out of the wooden house's windows and ran to tell the baby's mother, Lucilene dos Santos. Maciel said he is now dreaming of becoming a fire-fighter so he can save more lives But Ms Santos was too afraid to enter the blaze, so it was down to young Maciel to step in and save the day - he rushed into the burning house and grabbed baby Andrieli from her cradle. The Fire Department Chief Jose de Macedo praised the boy's bravery, and much like his hero Spider-Man, Maciel became the talk of the town. His face made it to the cover of all the local newspapers and he no longer needs the red and blue costume to be recognised. Maciel said he is now dreaming of becoming a fire-fighter so he can save more lives. © Independent Television News Limited 2007. All rights reserved.

11-15-2007, 04:56 PM	#179
craig johnston dalai clique Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: tea leaf towers - home of fine musical entertainment Posts: 5,609	Bike sex man placed on probation A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr. __________________ the tea leaf family

11-15-2007, 04:58 PM	#180
brightpearl Rhinoceros fan Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,749	^I didn't know your surname was Stewart.

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