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Old 03-10-2007, 02:13 PM   #406
Coffee
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My apologies for letting this round go so long.

Nice submissions all of them. Unfortunately, most were too nice for a bad writing thread and most of them actually suitable for reading to a child at bedtime...except for a close tie decided by a coin toss over Brynn's public bathroom tale, and our winner's autobiographical entry (with state name changed to protect the crappy name of the state of origin of the worst president in US history).

Take it away Dinzdale.
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Old 03-14-2007, 07:33 PM   #407
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Pshaw....


In honour of all hippy hats everywhere...the worst possible Dr Suess book please......

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Old 03-15-2007, 05:30 AM   #408
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a train a train
in the rain on a train
could you would you
on a train
on a train or up a tree
anywhere you want to be
could you would you
on a train
or up a tree
just you and me
any time
for us to be
in the dark or on a train
in a boat or in the rain
in a train or up a tree
so good so good you see!
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Old 03-15-2007, 10:03 AM   #409
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(Adopted by Merck as a patient handout for Irritable Bowel Syndrome)

My stomach hurts, my stomach hurts, the fleeming blurts! My stomach hurts.

If you should get the blurts, you've had too much dessert.

If eating gives you squirts, you've got the fleeming blurts!
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Old 03-27-2007, 05:12 PM   #410
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"Twas a dark and stormy relationship
And yet she felt elationship
to know that the divorce
would go through mit out force...
Now she takes her oblations,
lacking all kind sensations,
as the feeble-kneed knockwurst she married
will be financially buried.
"For," she proclaimed with a grin,
"cheaters never quit, and
cheaters never win!"
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.

Last edited by Brynn : 03-27-2007 at 05:12 PM. Reason: this is really bad writing
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Old 04-08-2007, 09:37 PM   #411
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Horton hurt a ho!
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Old 04-10-2007, 10:24 PM   #412
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(insert a truly awful contribution here that's just depressing and bad)
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.

Last edited by Brynn : 07-06-2007 at 11:22 PM. Reason: I think they're actually called avleskeevers but I'm just not sure anymore
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:52 PM   #413
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wow this thread is languishing .. too bad
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Old 04-19-2007, 03:10 PM   #414
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give it some strength then..
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Old 04-20-2007, 02:41 AM   #415
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Well, I'm quite done with Seuss, how about you? It was a good idea, but it's been more than three days, so...

So while we're waiting for Dinz, let's write about psychotherapy and see who can pack the most metaphors and cliches into sixty words or less and still have it make some sort of sense. Remember, it can be good up to a point, but the sum total should have something "off" about it.

While usually crackling with the fire of an arsonists' heart, Dr. Roberts' unbridled passion for scooping into the tangled yarn of his patient's disturbed brain like so much overcooked spaghetti was now waning like a discouraged bear pawing through the abandoned campsite of the medulla oblongata and coming up with nothing more than some empty Twinkie wrappers that had been licked clean.


There. I know you can do better than that.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:56 AM   #416
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I'm hijacking this thread ... everyone, how about the worst-ever possible start to, hrm, lemme see ... a job application.
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Old 07-06-2007, 02:41 AM   #417
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OJBECTIVE: To attain a professional position as All-Night Head Clerk at the Hotel Yorba.
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Old 07-06-2007, 08:22 AM   #418
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Old 07-06-2007, 11:56 AM   #419
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Feel free to use Dear sir/madame, (and not have it count as a sentence).
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:42 PM   #420
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Dear Sir or Madam:

Objective: Proffwriting Job
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