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Old 07-06-2007, 03:41 PM   #421
12"razormix
 
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dear sir or madam.

does my arse look fat in this dress?
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Old 07-06-2007, 09:49 PM   #422
Coffee
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Dear store;

My dad told me I had to get a job, u got one?
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Old 07-06-2007, 11:25 PM   #423
Brynn
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Dear to whom it may concern:
Enclosed please find several items for your perusal that indicate my qualifications for working at your hotel - which I first posted on PostSecret.com, so I hope that doesn't bother you.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 07-10-2007, 06:56 PM   #424
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Because I'm continually asking that question, and because it made me giggle to think of someone actually asking it in an interview - I award the worst job application intro to ... 12"razormix

Although I had to say Marcus' proofwriting thing almost had me hooked .. and twitchy to make fixes.

Take it away Razor.
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Old 12-25-2007, 09:58 AM   #425
Hyakujo's Fox
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*ahem*

The first line of your Christmas Card poem or greeting, if you please.
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Old 12-25-2007, 10:20 AM   #426
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It's another glorious Christmas at the (*name withheld*) household; as I handwrite this heartfelt Christmas letter in stunning calligraphic flourishes on handmade soy-based parchment, the homemade Bavarian scalded eggnog is steaming in my great-grandmother's Blue Willow cups, the dog is sitting attentively at my L.L. Bean shearling slippered feet, and the children are arranged like luminous Titian angels about the living room, playing quietly with their new wooden trains and sewing traditional French cross-stitch samplers in their smocked heirloom nightgowns and Tartan flannel pajamas.
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Old 12-25-2007, 01:43 PM   #427
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A Christmas candle is a lovely thing, it makes no noise at all, but softly gives itself away, while quite unselfish, it grows small.
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Old 12-26-2007, 07:56 PM   #428
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May the joyful bells of Christmas morning jangle ever so softly on your hangover before you drag yourself out of bed and see the mess you left in the kitchen.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:03 PM   #429
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In this Season of Light, please remember to keep your thermostat turned down low(stereo and holiday mood lighting too), and do not neglect to line your worn-out boots with recycled plastic bread bags to get more wear out of them.

ETA: I think I've gotten this one before :-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightpearl View Post
It's another glorious Christmas at the (*name withheld*) household; as I handwrite this heartfelt Christmas letter in stunning calligraphic flourishes on handmade soy-based parchment, the homemade Bavarian scalded eggnog is steaming in my great-grandmother's Blue Willow cups, the dog is sitting attentively at my L.L. Bean shearling slippered feet, and the children are arranged like luminous Titian angels about the living room, playing quietly with their new wooden trains and sewing traditional French cross-stitch samplers in their smocked heirloom nightgowns and Tartan flannel pajamas.
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.

Last edited by Brynn : 12-26-2007 at 08:05 PM.
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Old 12-28-2007, 03:30 AM   #430
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Attached find my favourite Christmas recipe for leftover ham!
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Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard
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Old 12-28-2007, 11:33 AM   #431
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brynn View Post
ETA: I think I've gotten this one before :-)
*urg* Yes, I've gotten it several times; I hardly even exaggerated...the "Titian angel" bit is a direct quote.
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Old 12-28-2007, 03:20 PM   #432
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It was a busy year here at the Molitor household as Harold processed no less than four thousand two hundred eighteen tax returns for various customers at an average fee of seventy two dollars and sixty-seven cents grossing us three hundred six thousand five hundred twenty two dollars and six cents in income which would seem like a lot but his methamphetamine and cocaine bill ended up costing us two hundred twenty-one thousand eight hundred fifteen dollars and forty-nine cents in raw materials and legal bills and my vicodin and little yellow pill habit cost us another twenty four thousand eight hundred eighty-seven dollars and ninety-four cents so though he was able to write them all off as a business expense that left us with an adjusted gross income (after mortgage interest, sales tax and other itemized deductions) of thirty-eight thousand three hundred forty-three dollars and fifty-four cents which, with the two kids in grad school still being able to be claimed as dependents, qualified us for the earned income credit, which saved Groundhog's Day.
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...and another handful of almonds
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:48 AM   #433
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a double to the last two posts ^

Dear Family.
Happy Holidays to all, and even in spite of the fact that Bill and I both are still out of work since being laid off last March, having had to sell the house, apply for food stamps, ask all of you for money at one time or another with varying degrees of success in order to buy Jesse, Jennie and Jackie new shoes without holes in them, and take turns in 2-hour shifts having fun standing with our homemade cardboard sign at our favorite intersection --- well, we are all just as snug as bugs in a van down by the river with an empty gas tank, and have found peace in a season of knowing that none of the kids have (as of yet) gotten hurt or hooked on the drugs that so many of our more enterprising neighbors (some of whom are far worse off than we!) seem to always have on hand --- so all in all, when there's money for propane and stamps to send our annual holiday letters, we consider ourselves blessed!
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 12-29-2007, 08:29 PM   #434
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Okay, better judge this before the tree starts dropping needles.

With further ado...

HURRAH!

Not without further ado...

The winner is brightpearl! The next genre if you please...
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Old 12-29-2007, 10:01 PM   #435
brightpearl
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Carp, I didn't realize this was like the dictionary game, shoulda read the thread! Oh well, sounds fun, now that I've read the rules...

M'kay...

If you please, a sentence in the historical fiction genre that contains all three of the following:

spigot
rice cake
a reference to an unfortunate dermatological malady of your own choosing


Have at you.
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