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Old 06-28-2007, 06:52 AM   #1
Marcus Bales
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Name Your Poison

In this thread, we invent amusing new drink names and make at least a vague attempt to be funny by saying what's in them. Whether they taste good or are in good taste is irrelevant.

You name it and the next person describes what's in it, and names the next drink.

I'll start with some examples:

Moby Dick and a Queequeg Chaser

-- A glass of white milk and a shot of Ovaltine

Absorba the Greek

-- a clean sponge on a sushi plate, with a shot of ouzo poured into it; you suck the sponge.

The Columbus

-- Three schooners of beer named "Nina", "Pinta", and "Santa Maria"; if you can still remember their names when you're finished, you haven't discovered a new world yet.
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Last edited by Marcus Bales : 06-28-2007 at 06:57 AM.
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:06 AM   #2
brightpearl
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I simply adore a well-made

Screeching Lily

..but I can't recall what's in it. Anyone?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:47 AM   #3
trisherina
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A shot of warm sake with fuschia lipstick round the rim.

Just the other day I was craving a Funnel Cloud. What's in that again?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:54 AM   #4
Marcus Bales
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Screeching Lilly - Three Seconal ground up in a shot of vodka, poured over a $100,000,000 bar, served on a coaster of an issue of Poetry Magazine.


Who remembers what's in a Slowhand?
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:58 AM   #5
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Oops!

A Funnel Cloud - A very old-fashioned drink: creme de menthe with a dollop of heavy whipping cream poured in gently with a swirling motion. Three of these and you'll be in the Emerald City!


ok, NOW, who remembers what's in a Slowhand?
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Old 06-28-2007, 10:51 AM   #6
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^Marcus, I think yours is a Sleeping Lily. Common mistake.

A slowhand is one part apple juice, four parts sloe gin, and the bartender slaps you across the face to wake you up at closing time.

Remember what we had at TIP's birthday cotillion? What was it called? Oh, yes,

a Freaking Mime...
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Old 06-28-2007, 11:10 AM   #7
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A Freaking Mime - the bartender puts a hat with 25 cents in it on the bar and hands you an invisible glass containing an invisible drink. You spit in his face, and the bouncer breaks your skull. The drugs you get in hospital are good, though

now, what was in a Smelly Bassett again?
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Old 06-28-2007, 12:56 PM   #8
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Smelly Bassett: 2 ounces Laphroaig single Islay malt whiskey (smoky flavor) with an egg yellow and a dash of vietnamese Ngoc Mam sauce (if the whiskey is aged over 10 years old, the cocktail becomes an extra smelly basset).


Could someone remind me of what goes into a Flaming Half-Nelson ? I'm dying for one
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Old 06-28-2007, 06:06 PM   #9
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^Really? I had no idea. But hey, man, whatever floats your boat.

Flaming Half-Nelsons are available only in gay bars. It's the same as a frozen banana daquiri (1 1/2 oz light rum, 1 tbsp triple sec, 1 banana, 1 1/2 oz lime juice, 1tsp sugar, blended with ice), but the cherry and little umbrella garnishes are mandatory. The bartender wraps one arm across your chest and behind your neck, and everyone in the bar claps and chants until you finish chugging it and uh, "slap the mat."

I spent all day with 3 screaming 6 year olds, and I could really go for a Sneaky Weasel.
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Old 06-28-2007, 11:52 PM   #10
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Ahhh, a Sneaky Weasle: just pour in Tequilla, fuzzy mango juice and ice in a stemmed glass on which brown sugar has anealed from the cold moisture, and relax. Don't forget the umbrella on this one.

I'm in the mood for a Sonic Star
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Old 06-29-2007, 07:03 PM   #11
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A Sonic Star - 14-year-old whiskey straight up with a chaser of whine.

You pour the whiskey, and after every sip you say something like "Why don't you take me seriously?" or "I'm as smart as you are" and the like.

I've heard of a Boomer Boomer but I've never had one -- what's in it?
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Old 06-29-2007, 11:47 PM   #12
trisherina
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Same as a tequila slammer, but with a dash of gunpowder on the rim.

I wonder if I have what it takes to make a Big Black Mariah on the bar?
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Old 06-30-2007, 01:09 AM   #13
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I'm sure you do...just drop a double shot of Kahlua into a mug of Guinness garnish with a slice of sugar cane. Wait a second or so then chug it while it foams and froths like mad.

I feel like a Rabble Rouser, but forgot how to make one Help?
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Old 06-30-2007, 09:04 AM   #14
Marcus Bales
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A Rabble Rouser is made this way:

In a pitcher, a bottle of red wine, two cans of Red Bull, and 6 oz of vodka. Serve by pouring high-ball glass 2/3 full, and adding a piece of dry ice to simulate tear gas.

Stand by with a nightstick to quell demonstrations.

But that reminds me, how do you make a Purring Cat?
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Old 06-30-2007, 06:50 PM   #15
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That's a good choice right there. That's Gin blended in a blender with banana and mango, served in a tasteful fur hat.

Which reminds me, how do you make a Duck Rump?
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