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Old 08-14-2004, 09:32 PM   #61
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YOU ARE ALL MAGNIFICENT AND MIRACULOUS, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT.
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Old 08-14-2004, 09:52 PM   #62
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Anyone feeling overwhelmed by envy or intimidation by someone else's life story needs to know that it's their issue, not the other person's, and that it's a good issue to explore, painful as that might seem.
So most people would have seen the dot of a withdrawn post. I withdrew the comment because it was my issue, and no-one else's. It was a negative comment which compared others' experiences to my own.

So, I took Trish's advice and went into the room of mirrors and had a good look at myself. Then I decided to give the whole excercise a go.

My list took me about twenty minutes to compose. It didn't just roll of the typewriter, trust me. I don't have much to be happy about in my life and it was a healthy and positive thing to do.

I'm sorry if it came across as big-noting myself. I honestly don't think the list was special, really just happenstance.

I travelled a lot when I was a kid and was privileged enough to work on the Pit Lands as a nurse, hence the East Germany, 6 languages, school in Geneva. No achievement on my part whatsoever.

The nursing degree part I am proud of because I was accepted to law (not showing off!) but turned it down to be a nurse instead. It was reference to the pride I feel, some 15 years later, at having made a good choice. And pissing my academic over achiever parents right off to this day. What it was not, was a reference to "gee, I'm so smart, I got a nursing degree, yeah!". I lived at home and didn't have to work my way through like a lot of people. So no great achievement there either.

I saw the sun come up over a mountain. It was great. I just happened to be there at the right time.

The VBAC thing; I wish I never even knew what a VBAC was. To walk into the Old Boy's Club of obstetrics as a female nurse and say "You are wrong and here's the research" takes major balls.
And as sure as God's green little apples, if I can stop what happened to me from happening to another woman, I WILL post and be proud.
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Old 08-14-2004, 09:59 PM   #63
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Once it was done, and posted, I realized what a great exercise it was - because as I read through my list, I thought, "WOW! What an interesting life I've led!"


And this is what it was for me. After the hellish couple of months I've recently experienced, this was uplifting for me to recognize that I've so far, lived a fairly full life.

Quote:
Anyone feeling overwhelmed by envy or intimidation by someone else's life story needs to know that it's their issue,


Absolutely.

If someone does something that I think is admirable I'm not going to be restricted from commenting on it. Everyone needs a pat on the back from time to time, and there's nothing wrong with it. To restrict that is silly.
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:09 PM   #64
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Originally posted by nycwriters

If someone does something that I think is admirable I'm not going to be restricted from commenting on it. Everyone needs a pat on the back from time to time, and there's nothing wrong with it. To restrict that is silly.
I do agree... I guess I just had a roundabout way of getting to "I wish more people would post and want to do or say something that is encouraging"...
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:10 PM   #65
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So to encourage others to post you discouraged others from paying compliments to those who already had posted?

Uh?....
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:14 PM   #66
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eh... That's me "thinking out loud". Irresponsible, I guess. Me & Emily Litella.
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:15 PM   #67
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Well it bothers me now that Mad just posted in this thread basically downplaying accomplishments that are very important to her -- and in my opinion, very interesting.

Mad I wish you'd delete your post on thispage of this thread. You've done some great things in your life. I hate seeing you making them out now to be less than they are -- fantastic.
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:19 PM   #68
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Awww! I wish she wouldn't...

Anyway - the idea was to post "events" - not only things we're proud of. We feel however we do about them...regardless of other people's opinions...
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:27 PM   #69
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It's a shitty situation when we cannot celebrate the events in our friends lives and instead have to censor ourselves in case we sound too .. oh I don't even know the word.

When good things happen in my friends lives I celebrate. I'm not envious of their station, I'm thrilled that they've done things to make their lives better or happier.

I will not apologize for my list of things. I've worked my ass off to get most of them -- sacrificing a social life and any other kind of life to get there. I'm proud of how the hard work has paid off -- but it wasn't handed to me. I went out and made it happen.
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Old 08-14-2004, 10:54 PM   #70
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personally, I think the intermission that lala put in here provided a wonderful turn in this thread. I think lala's intent here was to provide some openness for those who were starting to be put off (myself included) by the downwards spiraling competition this sort of thing CAN lead to.

Who to say it was or wasn't? We all have our interpretations of other people's actions.

I love that mad elabortated- it's still within the spirit of the thread. I love reading Clytie's description and trish's simple yet beautiful take on her life. I don't think they would have come about if lala hadn't said anything.

no one's saying we shouldn't celebrate. on the contrary. we should make room to celebrate everyone's life.

on that note, I should take my own advice...
-------

I'm only 24 and three-quarters, but I've tried to keep myself busy.

grew up in a poor midwestern town, watched my parents grow up with an older brother and I. saw my father take the couragous step of relocating his young family to a place of more opportunity. wouldn't realize the extent of his couragousness and commitment to us until much later.

dreamed dreamed dreamed of faraway places. "when I was a chap, I had a passion for maps. I would look for hours at South America, or Africa, or Australia and lose myself in all the glories of exploration. At that time there were many blank spaces on the earth, and when I saw one that looked particularly inviting in a map (but they all look like that) I would put my finger on it and say "when I grow up I will go here." -Lord Jim, Heart of Darkness.

and that's what I did. from 15 to now (and still going). I've lived in, worked, fell in love with, fell into despisement with, cried over, danced on the land of, swam the waters through and made peace in about nine different countries.

I've done it through dedication, pure love and work- holding multiple jobs while going to school full-time. Living with an emotionally disturbed relative. Having a very inexpensive (nil) social life in between travels. Watching whole paychecks go to plane tickets, only to be let go the next day. Sailing with mad australian men. Hitching with a couple of silly dutch doctors with the sign "Free Medical Advice for a Ride". sleeping on beaches. running a hostel for a season, doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms most days. writing articles, getting them published .... eventually.

some accomplishments I'm proud of- teaching kids more than just english, but to celebrate their inate sense of play and wonder. sailed across thousands of miles of ocean. learned how to fish for my own dinner, both above water and below. worked with the largest telecommunications company in China to help them prepare for an international political/economic summit in they were hosting in region- they were well received. being able to function, survive and eventually thrive in cultures that weren't my own, in languages much more foreign than I could have ever dreamed. raised a significant amont of money for beauty. managed to become a loved aunt, sister, daughter, lover, friend, companion.

and somehow, along the way, I've managed to grow into a human being that's happened to have some funky things happen to her in weird sounding places.

now I'm turning to the world within. it should be fun.

Last edited by amanda : 08-15-2004 at 12:16 AM.
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Old 08-14-2004, 11:00 PM   #71
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I think the turn of this thread was, as Trish so best put it, insecurities leaking to the surface and trying to make people feel bad for things they've done in their lives.

If it felt like a spiraling competition, then that's your issue, and you need to examine why you felt that way.

I never saw it like that ... I enjoyed reading about what people have done.
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Old 08-14-2004, 11:01 PM   #72
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Originally posted by amanda
no one's saying we shouldn't celebrate. on the contrary. we should make room to celebrate everyone's life.
Who's saying we weren't? Who was stopping anyone from posting anything on this board?
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Old 08-14-2004, 11:08 PM   #73
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Look, I'm pissed about this because Mad usually comes to this board all thorns and barbwire ... the one time she shares something that makes her happy, whether the intent was there or not (I recognize it wasn't specifically for her, but it's the reaction you got), she's called to the mat on it ... so much so that she felt she needed to backpedal and downplay some of the good stuff she DID share.

I can't profess to speak for her, she's her own woman, but seeing that post on this page of this thread pissed me off.

Particularly given the context of this part:

Quote:
I don't have much to be happy about in my life and it was a healthy and positive thing to do.
THIS is what I don't like about this board. The petty jealousies that don't amount to a hill of beans in the great grand scheme of things. They fester like a sore and grow bigger and bigger until they spew off into some kind of tourettes rage.

If you have an issue about posting things in a thread for whatever reason, it's a free world -- you can find other threads to post in.

If however, you want to share, and talk about things that have touched your life, the so be it.

You are not me, I am not you and you aren't anyone but you.

Ok, I'm done now.
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Old 08-14-2004, 11:28 PM   #74
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thanks WS for the cool idea for the thread.

there have been some really beautiful posts on here.
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Old 08-14-2004, 11:33 PM   #75
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I agree.
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