I'll get away with it too

[noxxville]

Based on our seemingly inevitable attack on Iraq, I've figured out that soon I'll be able to get away with murder. Here's how this will work:

I have this neighbor. Well, he doesn't really live that close to me, but he does have a lot of land. I grow oranges you see, and I'm running short on land...but that's irrelevant. Don't even think about that. Here's what's important: the guy is evil. Every weekend I drive by his house and see his kids out in the yard. They all have bruises (he obviously beats them). His wife is always wearing really big sunglasses, obviously hiding her perpetual black eyes. He has guns too. Every other day he's out in the backyard shooting beer cans. Makes quite a bit of noise. We've told the police about him. They go over to his house and he swears that we're lying, that he doesn't even own a gun. But we all know better.

I hate this guy. Once, when my mother was visiting, she was nearly run over by the guy. I know he was trying to hit her! He's a bully, once he even parked his car on the neighbor's lawn. We made him move it but I know he just wants to park it there again.

Some of my neighbors think I should give him another chance, that I might have it all wrong. But I know things they don't know you see. I hate this man. He is evil. I mean he beats his own kids, and his wife. How can I just sit by and let that happen? He even tried to run over my mother!

Anyway, I figure that pretty soon I'll be able to just storm into his house and just gun him down. I mean, I've tried to be diplomatic about the whole thing but, if he'll do that to his kids, god only knows what he's capable of. So, for the sake of my whole neighborhood, I'm going to kill this man.

When I get arrested, all I have to do is make the very obvious comparison between my situation and our attack on Iraq. I'm sure to get off! I mean, the whole country is so behind this war, once they see the connection I'm safe!

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What's really scary is I can actually see someone trying this...