This Just In

[xerocs]

I saw this on the Daily Probe.... I laughed my ass off... now I have no where to sit...

U.S. Troops Rescue Jessica Lynch from U.S. Hospital

PALESTINE, W. Va. (DPI) - Desperate for a shining moment after weeks of sinking public support for the Iraqi war, the White House today ordered a stunning rescue of Jessica Lynch from the West Virginia hospital where she had been recuperating. The rescue was carried out just before dawn by a squad of elite Delta Force commandos. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that despite the absence of any resistance from the hospital staff, the commandos "put up one hell of a fight," and that the administration had been informed about Lynch's location by "a courageous Iraqi-American janitor" who worked at the hospital.