boston public thread - Page 2 - ZEFRANK.COM

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:03 AM

i spelt tried wrong

01-10-2004, 12:06 AM

thanks ZoerZ

haha
i reviewed this guy and he responded:

Hi, Lauren,

Thanks for taking the time to do a detailed review of my short story. Enrique is a complex character who feels shame to have fallen out of love with Antonia, and who needs reaffirmation that his life has meant something, that the previous sweethearts haven't forgotten them. He wants to die, is bored, and yet, he wants to leave a legacy.

It was painful to write this story. Enrique and Antonia may be more easily understood by people over fifty and sixty. Some people, like Enrique, know when it's time to go.

Many thanks for your time, and I hope to read some of your writings in the near future.

Sincerely,

Raul

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:08 AM

ha

this guy used the word 'kudos' :

Noel,

well, you've got storytelling talent. again, I emphasize how strongly your wise and sparing choice of words was. was a very brief flash that presented a universal theme, and was cool because it did not come out with it, at any point. that's my kind of story. Kudos, and good job.

-J

ewww

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:14 AM

this is a review from candace cameron

"I'm not sure what I am to get out of this piece. It seems more like statements strung together. You are telling me things but not letting me feel things, not showing me things. Perhaps this is something to work towards - being able to show people the emotion you are writing about through other means than just stating them as a fact. The emotion tends to lose power, and lost its ability to interact with the reader.

Your last paragraph tells the reader about all these opposites but I don't really get to feel them, nor I can really understand them. Do you know what you're trying to get across?"

do you think thats her real name?

01-10-2004, 12:17 AM

i get the internet and neglect all of my hobbies for zefranking and tongue chewing

ever since i have started playing gamecube, i have regressed back into chewing my tongue. (it used to be a bad habit)

no that can't be her name

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:20 AM

YOU CAN TUUUURN THE CITYYY UPSIDE DOWN

01-10-2004, 12:29 AM

i can't concentrate

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:36 AM

my review will be honest and thoughtful and biased

01-10-2004, 12:39 AM

moel · 01-10-2004, 12:40 AM

explain

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01-10-2004, 12:03 AM	#1
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	i spelt tried wrong

01-10-2004, 12:06 AM	#2
fodder Posts: n/a	thanks ZoerZ haha i reviewed this guy and he responded: Hi, Lauren, Thanks for taking the time to do a detailed review of my short story. Enrique is a complex character who feels shame to have fallen out of love with Antonia, and who needs reaffirmation that his life has meant something, that the previous sweethearts haven't forgotten them. He wants to die, is bored, and yet, he wants to leave a legacy. It was painful to write this story. Enrique and Antonia may be more easily understood by people over fifty and sixty. Some people, like Enrique, know when it's time to go. Many thanks for your time, and I hope to read some of your writings in the near future. Sincerely, Raul

01-10-2004, 12:08 AM	#3
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	ha this guy used the word 'kudos' : Noel, well, you've got storytelling talent. again, I emphasize how strongly your wise and sparing choice of words was. was a very brief flash that presented a universal theme, and was cool because it did not come out with it, at any point. that's my kind of story. Kudos, and good job. -J ewww

01-10-2004, 12:14 AM	#4
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	this is a review from candace cameron "I'm not sure what I am to get out of this piece. It seems more like statements strung together. You are telling me things but not letting me feel things, not showing me things. Perhaps this is something to work towards - being able to show people the emotion you are writing about through other means than just stating them as a fact. The emotion tends to lose power, and lost its ability to interact with the reader. Your last paragraph tells the reader about all these opposites but I don't really get to feel them, nor I can really understand them. Do you know what you're trying to get across?" do you think thats her real name?

01-10-2004, 12:17 AM	#5
fodder Posts: n/a	i get the internet and neglect all of my hobbies for zefranking and tongue chewing ever since i have started playing gamecube, i have regressed back into chewing my tongue. (it used to be a bad habit) no that can't be her name

01-10-2004, 12:20 AM	#6
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	YOU CAN TUUUURN THE CITYYY UPSIDE DOWN

01-10-2004, 12:36 AM	#8
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	my review will be honest and thoughtful and biased

01-10-2004, 12:40 AM	#10
moel Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: dithyramb Posts: 3,102	explain