carrots - ZEFRANK.COM

JesusTitties · 03-01-2004, 04:52 AM

i was stuck in traffic this morning thinking about how much i hate two things. Halloween and the kids in my neighbourhood.
I live in a rather upscale part of the city, and the kids all clearly are growing up spoon fed.

so i got thinking about halloween and how these little dicks are going to be at my door in october.

then i got thinking about candied apples, i love candied apples and who doesnt.

but what if i made home made candied apples for halloween? and what if, rather than using an apple on a stick - i used a raw onion?

then what if i really basted the onion with that candied treat and wrapped it and stuck it on a stick. when they go home and take a nice big gargantuan bite of the tasty treat they get shit on by a fresh onion slapped to their wordhole.

i laughed and laughed at this all the way up the DVP, and didnt mind the traffic so much. i am doing it this october.

zenbabe · 03-01-2004, 05:11 AM

If it was my kid..I would rather he/she took a big bite out of an onion...than a razor blade...or heroin.......................

JesusTitties · 03-01-2004, 05:15 AM

zen can i send you a candied apple in the mail

Magpie · 03-01-2004, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zenbabe
If it was my kid..I would rather he/she took a big bite out of an onion...than a razor blade...or heroin.......................

Well isn't it swell that JT is giving kids today an alternative to the worn out ole' razor blade surprise at Halloween

BTW, Halloween isn't for 8 months still JT

AllegroNg · 03-01-2004, 10:42 AM

Well he could always start plotting for an easter egg hunt..

funkytuba · 03-01-2004, 03:23 PM

What if, instead of dyed easter eggs, you were to hide bovine eyeballs, or other balls.

I suppose you could paint the eggs themselves to look like eyeballs..

zenbabe · 03-01-2004, 04:04 PM

get those fear factor eggs that has the little baby bird still inside.......mmmmmmmmmm what a delicacy.....

Coffee · 03-01-2004, 04:10 PM

Sounds like a lot of work JT...why not just offer them a basket full of onions, squash, brocolli heads, carrots, and other fresh vegatables...you will never get kids at your door again once word gets out that you are offering "healthy crap", and parents won't come seeking you out for "spoiling their precious lil darlins halloweenies".

P.s...I am soooo happy that kids never come to my door on Haloween...I bought candy the first 3 years here and got like one teenager on the third year...I dumped the bowl in his bag and explained that he was the first kid at my door in 3 years, told him I was giving up buying candy so don't bother coming back next year...and never had to worry about it since...whooo hoooo.

zenbabe · 03-01-2004, 04:15 PM

I used to hate those people that gave out pennies....it's like...keep your penny man!

priceyfatprude · 03-01-2004, 05:23 PM

Zen, the pennies were for the UNICEF boxes.

I've lived here 5 years & have yet to get a single trick or treater.

The first year I bought the really good candy & waited all day. No one ever came. Second year, same thing. Nothing. I had to eat all those individually wrapped Oreo Double Stuffs on my own. *cries*

I never get trick or treaters, therefore I implore you to be nice to yours.

Then again, maybe you want a flaming bag of dog crap on your porch?

SpecialK · 03-01-2004, 06:05 PM

When I was little, there was this one house that would give out glow-sticks. That was my favorite. Screw candy.

zenbabe · 03-01-2004, 06:24 PM

I havent had a single ticker treater in the 4 years that I have lived here, but then again, I am usually getting my groove on somewhere dressed all freaky.

I think we will get them in arizona...the burbs man!

Magpie · 03-01-2004, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SpecialK
When I was little, there was this one house that would give out glow-sticks. That was my favorite. Screw candy.

When I was little only divers had glow sticks haha. I always thought the worst Halloween candy was that brownish peanut butter wad that was wrapped in orange or black waxy paper ewwwww right up there w/those giant orange peanut shaped candies called Circus Peanuts ugh.

Coffee · 03-01-2004, 07:18 PM

oh yuck...i remember the peanut candies...icky icky icky...

And I love penut butter...those things were VILE and a black mark on the good name of Peanuts.

zenbabe · 03-01-2004, 07:48 PM

Don't eat to much candy!

03-01-2004, 04:52 AM	#1
JesusTitties ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 3,124	carrots i was stuck in traffic this morning thinking about how much i hate two things. Halloween and the kids in my neighbourhood. I live in a rather upscale part of the city, and the kids all clearly are growing up spoon fed. so i got thinking about halloween and how these little dicks are going to be at my door in october. then i got thinking about candied apples, i love candied apples and who doesnt. but what if i made home made candied apples for halloween? and what if, rather than using an apple on a stick - i used a raw onion? then what if i really basted the onion with that candied treat and wrapped it and stuck it on a stick. when they go home and take a nice big gargantuan bite of the tasty treat they get shit on by a fresh onion slapped to their wordhole. i laughed and laughed at this all the way up the DVP, and didnt mind the traffic so much. i am doing it this october.

03-01-2004, 05:11 AM	#2
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	If it was my kid..I would rather he/she took a big bite out of an onion...than a razor blade...or heroin....................... __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

03-01-2004, 03:23 PM	#6
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	What if, instead of dyed easter eggs, you were to hide bovine eyeballs, or other balls. I suppose you could paint the eggs themselves to look like eyeballs.. __________________ ...and another handful of almonds Last edited by funkytuba : 03-01-2004 at 03:30 PM.

03-01-2004, 04:04 PM	#7
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	get those fear factor eggs that has the little baby bird still inside.......mmmmmmmmmm what a delicacy..... __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

03-01-2004, 04:10 PM	#8
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	Sounds like a lot of work JT...why not just offer them a basket full of onions, squash, brocolli heads, carrots, and other fresh vegatables...you will never get kids at your door again once word gets out that you are offering "healthy crap", and parents won't come seeking you out for "spoiling their precious lil darlins halloweenies". P.s...I am soooo happy that kids never come to my door on Haloween...I bought candy the first 3 years here and got like one teenager on the third year...I dumped the bowl in his bag and explained that he was the first kid at my door in 3 years, told him I was giving up buying candy so don't bother coming back next year...and never had to worry about it since...whooo hoooo. Last edited by Coffee : 03-01-2004 at 04:13 PM.

03-01-2004, 05:15 AM	#3
JesusTitties ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 3,124	zen can i send you a candied apple in the mail

03-01-2004, 10:42 AM	#5
AllegroNg What I Am Wearing. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Near DC Posts: 2,573	Well he could always start plotting for an easter egg hunt..

03-01-2004, 04:15 PM	#9
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	I used to hate those people that gave out pennies....it's like...keep your penny man! __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

03-01-2004, 05:23 PM	#10
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	Zen, the pennies were for the UNICEF boxes. I've lived here 5 years & have yet to get a single trick or treater. The first year I bought the really good candy & waited all day. No one ever came. Second year, same thing. Nothing. I had to eat all those individually wrapped Oreo Double Stuffs on my own. cries I never get trick or treaters, therefore I implore you to be nice to yours. Then again, maybe you want a flaming bag of dog crap on your porch? __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

03-01-2004, 06:05 PM	#11
SpecialK Lint Free Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the dryer Posts: 371	When I was little, there was this one house that would give out glow-sticks. That was my favorite. Screw candy.

03-01-2004, 06:24 PM	#12
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	I havent had a single ticker treater in the 4 years that I have lived here, but then again, I am usually getting my groove on somewhere dressed all freaky. I think we will get them in arizona...the burbs man! __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

03-01-2004, 07:18 PM	#14
Coffee Cheeses Save Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Floating Posts: 9,204	oh yuck...i remember the peanut candies...icky icky icky... And I love penut butter...those things were VILE and a black mark on the good name of Peanuts.

03-01-2004, 07:48 PM	#15
zenbabe Lollypop! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: we are all made of stars Posts: 11,690	Don't eat to much candy! __________________ Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread: